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Pls Suggest I Am Confused

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by iman, Jun 18, 2020.

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Jun 20, 2020 #21

iman Senior IL'ite

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Ragavisang said: ↑

Hi Iman,
Sorry if I hurt your feelings by posting the below story. Personally I'm pissed off with people like you (again I'm very sorry for my rudeness) not taking the decision and giving so many excuses. My friend's husband passed away last week. Even before(arranged) marriage the problem started between their families. He never treated her like a human being not even a single day. She is a doctor and very kindhearted more or less like your character. Even when he was in deathbed (cancer)he ignored her and insulted her. Her Dad asked her to file a divorce(15years ago) but she refused.She suffered like anything. He literally killed her soul and She let him to do that. Whenever I talk to her I always show my jwalamukhi to her.My heart wrenching in pain
when she cries to me. She lost her youth, wealth and most of all her peace of mind for more than 2 decades. whose fault is it? I sincerely pray for her to realize that her Slavery is ended. Believe me you are responsible for your inner happiness and NO ONE ELSE!

Here is the story:

One day, a man was walking down the street and sees a dog on a porch that was just sitting there, whimpering, whining and moaning. The man was curious as to why he was whimpering, so he went and knocked on the door and a guy came out and said, “Yes, how may I help you?” He said, “Sir, is this your dog?” “Yes, that’s my dog.” “Well, what’s wrong with him?” The owner of the dog said, “What do you mean?” “Well, he’s sitting here moaning and groaning.” The owner said, “Well, he’s actually sitting on a nail.” He said, “What! Your dog is sitting on a nail. Why doesn’t he get off?” “Well, it just doesn’t hurt him enough.”

Many times, it is because we have told ourselves that the pain of doing something would be much worse than to just let it be. This rationalization helps us feel better about not dealing with the “nail”. The problem with this approach is that “little” pain over a long period of time is always worse than just dealing with the situation and having a little pain for a quick period.

Please take a decision which helps you to find your inner happiness!!!
Click to expand...

Dear Ragavisang , i posted here to get wisdom courage and listen your experiences . Its bitter but truth . Life long i have been loving and respecting my elders bro sisters but they never ever given me power and confidence to speak up. Always shows sympathy and adviced me to be patient, kind and be like a dog of your story.

Thanks love i am obliged you shared your experience and story. After so many years now i am awake.

iman, Jun 20, 2020

iman, Jun 20, 2020

#21
Jun 20, 2020 #22

lavani Platinum IL'ite

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iman said: ↑

. But he will miss companionship which he said also once wife is important in old age and by seeing all situation i feel pity for him Shama. But i am sure if i will leave from his life , he will be all alone.
Click to expand...

typical guilt attacks. watch and learn about those personality, you will understand everything

lavani, Jun 20, 2020

lavani, Jun 20, 2020

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iman likes this.
Jun 20, 2020 #23

lavani Platinum IL'ite

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Ragavisang said: ↑

Hi Iman,
Sorry if I hurt your feelings by posting the below story. Personally I'm pissed off with people like you (again I'm very sorry for my rudeness) not taking the decision and giving so many excuses. My friend's husband passed away last week. Even before(arranged) marriage the problem started between their families. He never treated her like a human being not even a single day. She is a doctor and very kindhearted more or less like your character. Even when he was in deathbed (cancer)he ignored her and insulted her. Her Dad asked her to file a divorce(15years ago) but she refused.She suffered like anything. He literally killed her soul and She let him to do that. Whenever I talk to her I always show my jwalamukhi to her.My heart wrenching in pain
when she cries to me. She lost her youth, wealth and most of all her peace of mind for more than 2 decades. whose fault is it? I sincerely pray for her to realize that her Slavery is ended. Believe me you are responsible for your inner happiness and NO ONE ELSE!

Here is the story:

One day, a man was walking down the street and sees a dog on a porch that was just sitting there, whimpering, whining and moaning. The man was curious as to why he was whimpering, so he went and knocked on the door and a guy came out and said, “Yes, how may I help you?” He said, “Sir, is this your dog?” “Yes, that’s my dog.” “Well, what’s wrong with him?” The owner of the dog said, “What do you mean?” “Well, he’s sitting here moaning and groaning.” The owner said, “Well, he’s actually sitting on a nail.” He said, “What! Your dog is sitting on a nail. Why doesn’t he get off?” “Well, it just doesn’t hurt him enough.”

Many times, it is because we have told ourselves that the pain of doing something would be much worse than to just let it be. This rationalization helps us feel better about not dealing with the “nail”. The problem with this approach is that “little” pain over a long period of time is always worse than just dealing with the situation and having a little pain for a quick period.

Please take a decision which helps you to find your inner happiness!!!
Click to expand...

dear Ragavisang,
your opinions are true from your experience in life. but trust me those people with those personality traits are master manipulators, and they always take companionship of empaths, people are who are empathic to other feelings. it takes years for empaths to realise, that nothing will change.

lavani, Jun 20, 2020

lavani, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #24

iman Senior IL'ite

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Dear Ivani
Thank you i will watch . Really we both are just opposite poles. He never cares for me i cares alot alot. Tooo empathise thats why tooo suffering.

These self improvement books killed my soul.

iman, Jun 20, 2020

iman, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #25

iman Senior IL'ite

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Hi ProudIndian i saved all evidence in safe google drive. Thank you.

iman, Jun 20, 2020

iman, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #26

Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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iman said: ↑

Dear Ragavisang , i posted here to get wisdom courage and listen your experiences . Its bitter but truth . Life long i have been loving and respecting my elders bro sisters but they never ever given me power and confidence to speak up. Always shows sympathy and adviced me to be patient, kind and be like a dog of your story.

Thanks love i am obliged you shared your experience and story. After so many years now i am awake.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately no one can help you in this situation except you iman. Please listen to your inner feeble voice and it will guide you in right path. You deserve to be happy like every one else. My hugs to you and all the best for your bright and peaceful future dear.

Ragavisang, Jun 20, 2020

Ragavisang, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #27

iman Senior IL'ite

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Rihana, thank you so much.
That for evidence.only for myself for my safety amd my innocense so.with confidence i can go.forth. and noone can utter a word and blames that i am wrong. I will not use to defame or ruin others life.
Even these women from India.not belong to dubai.
Your wisdomful lines i will keep.in mind while taking decision :----
" Think in terms of the future, not the past injustice. Once what you want is identified, the "how" will present itself to you in time.

iman, Jun 20, 2020

iman, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #28

Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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lavani said: ↑

dear Ragavisang,
your opinions are true from your experience in life. but trust me those people with those personality traits are master manipulators, and they always take companionship of empaths, people are who are empathic to other feelings. it takes years for empaths to realise, that nothing will change.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. But I want (kiddish may be)villains to be punished and make them realize others lives also equally mattered.

Ragavisang, Jun 20, 2020

Ragavisang, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #29

iman Senior IL'ite

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"Ragavisang, ....ok it means to me your all support and thanks.for.wishes . I am having sleepless nights i want to transform myself.

Soon i will update you new iman

iman, Jun 20, 2020

iman, Jun 20, 2020

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Jun 20, 2020 #30

iman Senior IL'ite

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hermitcrab said: ↑

I like the idea of moving from here to India without divorce. Many wives are in India who have husbands working else where. It will not change much for in terms of facing society or daily life within four walls.
If he is so clever and established in society and community, then do not tackle him at all. Let him live his life as he is.
HE will not let you move to India easily- plan a escape saying health reasons or short term move (that you extend forever). He is obviously very clever, society favors men- in general. And tackling him will be "aa bel mujhe maar"
Sorry much of life problems intimacy etc won't change, but keep your work and build a life around that.
Click to expand...

Ya Hermit .. i am thinking for this. Out of sight out of mind then will take steps further. Lets c.

iman, Jun 20, 2020

iman, Jun 20, 2020

#30

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