The Worst Fear Is The Fear Of Being Found Out

sln · Apr 9, 2020

Thyagarajan said: ↑

@sln
The fear of India based DILs beyond in foreign soil is more acute than desi DILs in India. The fear psychosis grips the DILs here or beyond the shores many turn sic and or paranoid.

2. The fear of MILs & other “ILs“ is no less compared to some dare devil DIL s.
Strangely there are DHs with genuine fear of their spouse.
After certain age parents too fear their children.
3. Similarly a preventive customs officer went for a raid to businessman premises. Businessman in fear arranged CBI same moment raid the house of custom officer’s residence. CBI Officer at the same found his house raided by income tax officials.
4. This state of affairs depicted exquisitely in “You Said It” in Times Of India cartoon by RK Laxman.
R. K. Laxman - Wikipedia
Regards.
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Dear Thyagarajan,
Dils scared of MILs in foreign shores is a thing of the past.Let me give you a case study.A very tough lady got her well educated son married to a rich girl and both of them shifted to Canada.Even neighbours were scared of the old lady for her vicious tongue.The lady joined her son after six months.When the old lady tried her tricks with the Dil she said that she would call up some number and ensure that both husband and MIL are behind bars. The old ladyy was so scared that she was a lamb till she returned to India.Dils do depend on mil/fil for running the house in double income family but in no way they are subservient to the the inlaws. There is a family where discussion between FIL/MIL and Dil are through whatsup messages to avoid embarrassment of an argument.Things have changed and if no one tries to ride roughshod over the other you can sail in placid waters ie called the home.
Regards.SLN

sln · Apr 9, 2020

Srama said: ↑

Dear Sln sir,

And if the fear is because of making a mistake, accepting that will help us feel so much liberated!
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Wonderful.Better to accept than wait with fear to envelope you. This is where open communication and the understanding that to err is human comes to our help.Our maid on our advice had undergone abortion and all the time scared that the husband may find out and hit her.[she has two girls and his mother wants him to have a son.]We give her courage that he cannot find out as we have incurred the expenditure.If you study the life of daily wage earners it is one of misery and fear and yet they lead a normal life,beget children and are economically independent. ".
All living things contain a measure of madness that moves in strange,sometimes inexplicable ways" .SLN

Anisu · Apr 9, 2020

Talk of fears and we will have big list of it.

I am scared of all insects, lizard and what not.
Right now i am dealing with the fear of dogs. I am so scared to step out of the house. May be its in my mind and the moment i step out of the house i see the dog.
The list goes on ...

sln · Apr 10, 2020

Anisu said: ↑

Talk of fears and we will have big list of it.

I am scared of all insects, lizard and what not.
Right now i am dealing with the fear of dogs. I am so scared to step out of the house. May be its in my mind and the moment i step out of the house i see the dog.
The list goes on ...
Click to expand...

Living in a city known for stray dog menace[Bangalore] I can sense the gripping fear when you see a group of dogs.Many people advise how to handle the dogs without stirring out of their home.I had three pet dogs in a span of forty years.I had quite a few playful bitings but i was not worried as the dogs were fully treated.But when a neighbours dog playfully bit me I had to through 5 painful injections one after other.When you are scared it is better to avoid encountering dogs.If by chance you do ,stand still and look away.Dogs only react and standing still removes the incentive to attack you.
Dogs are wonderful creatures created by God to show humans what love,affection and loyalty is.SLN

HariLakhera · Apr 12, 2020

Dear Shri Sln,
If I have to put fears in categories, I would put them in three categories:
1. Fear of death or total disablement like-fear of water, flying, travelling etc.
2. Fear of defamation: like, extramarital relationships, bribery etc which may cause some character issues if caught. If caught is the key word, as many many people are involved in such activities.
3. Fobias- like fear of cockroaches, lizards which may not cause any harm.
Fear of death due to starvation- like loss of money due to job loss or anything. One can possibly handle first three types but the last one is the worst.

sln · Apr 12, 2020

HariLakhera said: ↑

Dear Shri Sln,
If I have to put fears in categories, I would put them in three categories:
1. Fear of death or total disablement like-fear of water, flying, travelling etc.
2. Fear of defamation: like, extramarital relationships, bribery etc which may cause some character issues if caught. If caught is the key word, as many many people are involved in such activities.
3. Fobias- like fear of cockroaches, lizards which may not cause any harm.
Fear of death due to starvation- like loss of money due to job loss or anything. One can possibly handle first three types but the last one is the worst.
Click to expand...

Right now the fear of a cut in the salary or losing the job is looming large among the millennials resulting in anxiety over repayment of housing,car and credit card dues. Starvation is almost ruled out with the Govt,NGOs and good samaritans sharing their bread with the poor.Many of the fears you have listed can be avoided by not giving room for indiscretion.To sum up some thing or other is the root cause of fear and there is a linear equation between age and fear.
Regards.SLN