Posting After A Long Time

When posting after a long time, and continuing from prior history, it would be useful for everyone to have a synopsis of what had happened before. After all, most of us suffer from "out of site, out of mind" syndrome. This is especially useful when you propose to get pregnant with someone who'd be a respondent in a divorce proceeding after the baby is a fact on the ground.

Having said that, yours is a good idea, from the point of view of having a "good provider", i.e., someone who can afford a hefty child support settlement in a family court. I suspect that this must be your rationale for opting for a more difficult divorce (minor child of marriage on the case) than a simple one. However, timing the child-support settlement (i.e., divorce suit) is crucial. You must wait till the child is (at least) toilet trained (early years require much joint effort, sleepness nights etc..), and all the early child developmental issues resolved. If there are issues in this regard, the child support payments have to take those into cognizance in the court proceedings.

Good luck. Try to add that synopsis of your previous ILF history in your response.

 

Op I thought the counseling would have helped you to think with more clarity. Still you are back to your "worried and confused state of mind ".
Did you consummate your marriage?
Why are you looking in matrimonial sites without divorcing him?
With whom you want to have a kid?

First things first. And this should be the sequence of events which you should be thinking of.
1) Divorce
2) matrimonial search
3) kid.

You seem to be mixing things. I'm confused as Ever with your questions

 

So u want to have a child with the man u plan to divorce but what makes u think the father wouldnt claim custody or the child will be better off without his father whom ur planning to divorce

 

Easier said than done. Have the baby n u'l know the reason. In nycase all the best, whatever decision u take.

 

@rosylife
I would definitely not recommend having a baby when you are in the midst of an unhappy marriage (gleaning through your old posts). I am not at all against a single woman adopting or having a biological baby to raise as a single mother - I think its a wonderful thing for a strong, confident and financially independent woman to do. In your case I am just concerned that you have a lot on your plate already that I hope you are sorting out through your counseling sessions before you decide what to do about your marriage. Please make a decision about becoming a parent after that.

Posting some background here for @Amulet or others who can guide better:
Scared- Family Planning
Us Or Canada Citizenship Through Birth
Nostalgia, Souvenir, First Intimate Moment
Am I Doomed? What To Do Now..
Travel Food
Fed Up With Mother In Law
Minimal Communication With Husband

 

What the hell op!!
A child is not a puppy.
Do whatever you want to do with your life but don't bring a child into this world for such selfish reasons and screw the child's life.

 

Before divorcing him?

Yes. Absolutely . Nobody wants to marry a married woman unless she is legally divorced. They will get into a legal soup.

Do that first. Having a kid is next step.

Not wise to think this way.