Extra-marital Affairs

They both had a friends/crush/secret lover type relationship.
But dumping her was ruthless and very mean. This guy initiated and then dumped her. He is just nuts.

 

I agree but she is now deeply shaken by this incident and looks like she is not handling the situation right, she has a family so she has to find a way to move on with her life.

 

Wait, what?!

Are we seriously denouncing a 25 yo man who had the good sense to walk away from temptation? And sympathizing with a 38 yo woman who doesn't seem to have much self-control?

What if the genders were reversed and we were talking about a 38 yo married father of two whining about a single 25 yo woman walking away from him? What if that 25 yo was your daughter/sister/friend?

Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, no?

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She should have kept the friendship and not gone to the 'next level'
They were kinda dating and emotionally involved. He gave her a chance to go back to her youth.

She had put so much in this friendship and I am guessing that her husband was also okay and her friends/ children too...then she shd have kept it as a friendship with lots of brownie points in bank.

May be she could have called upon him for a favor for her children, internship, job, college essay, anything

She got the flesh involved and all was wrecked.

 

It is not as easy as to to say. She literally submitted herself, we can understand anyone can only share that kind of feelings to deeply loved one.

 

Look like the 25y old was testing waters . He was aware that she is married, but he crossed the boundary a colleague should have. May be trying for some 'experience'.

It is good to have healthy friendship with anyone. It is important to maintain your dignity as a woman and as a professional. She dont have any maturity it seems. When someone, especially a male talk on topics like that ( ""intellectual discussions" !!! wow ) , she should be able to guess what that person is. If she has not encouraged, he would not have moved in that way. But she crossed the boundary. Good that it happened. Her pain is nothing compared to what her husband or family face if he came to know about her plans. What answer she will give to her kids? Pathetic desperate woman.

She should be thankful to the guy for dumping her. Else it would have lead to more issues. All her name and fame can go away . It can lead to more complex situation. What if her encounter ( If he is good, he will not go after these kind of woman) was recorded and ended up in those kind of sites, what if she was blackmailed.. Anything is possible. Shameless lady. I will blame her more because she is older and have more experience. But if she cannot think & act well, what is the use ?

If she is so unhappy in her marriage, and looking for hookups or EMA, get divorce and go after other men instead of cheating.

I dont have any empathy for any cheaters irrespective of their gender. They should suffer like this or more. Only then they learn ( will they??!!).

Really surprised by many comments here, that would have been valid if she is single and trying to mingle. That's not the case here as she was looking for EMA.

She can consider this as a learning experience and try to work on her life and family life.

 

EMA is wrong. Period.

But here I was only talking about who caused hurt to whom. The woman was simply enjoying the good friendship.
This guy unnecessarily derailed the friendship and sowed seeds of lust and then dumped her. I feel bad for her.

Obviously she should learn the lesson and move on and strengthen the bond with DH.

 

Nicely summarized.

 

Not just older and experienced,but she was also the one not free to have an affair. She was in a commited relationship. She was cheating ....the guy was just having an affair.

No one can sow seeds of lust unless someone is ready for it. That may be true for 16 year old girls not a mature woman.

People don't just become unfaithful because someone lures them....
There are unfaithdul people and then there are faithful people.

Besides ,she was an equal partner in this. Infact she encouraged him all the way.

It is not a realtionship of two equals.

She is the cougar....who knowingly got into a relationship with this guy.She was not a single woman looking for a relationship....she was a married woman looking for some thrill outside of marriage.

He just saved himself the trouble such relationships end up bringing.

May be he did not want to be the reason for breaking her marriage.

May be he got over the initial attraction of an older and experienced woman.

In his defence....he had every reason to part ways from her. There was no future for him in this relationship other than being the sex toy or the third wheel.
She herself told him her marriage was fine.

So what was he supposed to do....?
Continue being in a purposeless relationship with no future for him?

He broke and chose to walk away...this is not dumping. This is self preservation .