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First Time, Pain Should Be Expected Or Not?

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by rosylife, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    Yes. I want to consummate my marriage. I met the gynecologist because I wanted to do my blood checkup before conceiving and at the time she asked me if am already trying actively. Thats when I said I have an issue.

    I am scared if my ex will break it saying I am not good . What if he has some evidence. So I can atleast tell relatives that I was a virgin .
     
  2. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    Yes . I am worried about the very same person. I got a message from him recently in which he asked me , how I am doing. He is still following me, making new accounts and sending mails from new maid ids. Every three or four months I get a message from him. Most of the messages are hi and asking about my life. He said he will ruin my life before I got engaged. He hacked my account and removed all my friends and photos three days before my engagement.
     
  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Good luck to you.
    If any relatives ask for a certificate for virginity and check and comment whether my baby is ivf baby , I would disregard them permanently from my life.
    Like stop being in touch with them .
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2019
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes @shravs3 I have seen that thread. And good options given to OP in that.
     
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  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Block him in all social media. WhatsApp etc.
    Block all the emails that he sends from.
    How long have you been married??
     
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  6. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    My husband, he knows but he doesn’t know 100% details. He knows that I had little exposed video chats but don’t know how far I was forced to go.
     
  7. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I feel the same
     
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  8. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I feel the exposing videos fear is mentally blocking you from consummating your marriage
     
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  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Very good advice here OP. @rosylife . No need to meet any gyno. Best wishes
     
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  10. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    I'm trying not to laugh. OP, this is not medieval times where virginity tests were publicly conducted on women. Modern, active women who are virgins may still not have an intact hymen due to exercise, sports and normal activities. Any man who doesn't understand this is a nitwit.
    Please stop obsessing about this. Treat your experience with your husband as if someone pushed you both into the deep end of the pool. You'll flail around, come up for air and then eventually you'll figure out what to do. And remember practice makes you perfect!
     

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