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Can I Indulge In Some Self Pity?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ATI, Jan 28, 2019.

  1. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Happy Birthday, @ATI. Have a fabulous day!

    This birthday family time is overrated. For birthdays mom should wake up, eat breakfast(because we don’t on other days), forget about the house and kids and head out to a day at the spa or the movies or shopping or a combination of the above. There are things that are negotiable and then spending that’s non negotiable. Spending on self for b’day is NN. Also, forget about house and kids. I leave bachhas with dad, and go by myself. These dh and kids are always attached to me. I’m always watching what they want, eating what they will eat, going where they want. That’s what Mother’s Day is for - doing what they want and being with them. Don’t get me wrong, I love them but it’s sometimes limiting. Birthdays are for me alone.
    Since your birthday is sometime this week, take the day off and just do something that you’ve always wanted but never found time for. Happy Birthday again!
     
  2. Sinant

    Sinant Silver IL'ite

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    Advance birthday wishes to you, hope you will have a wonderful time.

    I suppose, you would have done out of your love for your DH and not out of any expectation in return. So, just Cheer up and don’t spoil your bday :)
    There is one more weekend after the Birthday :cheer:
     
    Amica likes this.
  3. googleearth

    googleearth Silver IL'ite

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    My favorite dialog for self pity is when my husband asks me to cook something and will add you never make that for me; example - you did not make besan ladoo for diwali it's my favorite you never make that for me I ask him with pity puppy eyes - do you even know what is my favorite thing to eat? I have forgotten all my favorites :D
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @ATI,

    Here is what I like to do for my wife's birthday.

    1) Fresh coffee and breakfast smell to wake her up from her sleep
    2) Cook a simple but delicious lunch for her
    3) Take her out for a nice Italian dinner
    4) Wash dishes myself and load them into dishwasher
    5) Talk to her softly and sweetly all day on her special day.

    I hope this list will help you get out of your self-pity but honestly I don't do any of the above on her special day. Birthday is another day in our lives. My wife was born on May 12th and I was on May 13th. If I need my birthday to be pleasant, I need to make the previous day better. She is happy if I remember her birthday and wish her.

    However, I do the following on regular days:

    1) When she is sick I look after her very well
    2) When she is worried about something, I give her comfort
    3) I cook at least 2 days a week on a regular basis to give her a break
    4) I cut vegetables everyday for her when she cooks
    5) If she returns after a long walk, I help her relax a little

    Quality of life needs to be experienced everyday and not on special day. In my view, it is how one feels about life than what the spouse does. When you are down with self-pity, think about the best things that your spouse did for you. Happy birthday to you and keep yourself happy on the special day unaffected by the surroundings with no expectations.

    Viswa
     
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  5. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    When you dependent on others for your peace of mind and happiness there is risk that it will get messed up atleast a tiny bit.

    Atleast you got your dinner. Next year, get a babysitter and leave the house with hubby. Watch a good movie, eat at a nice restaurant and have fun at the mall. Every night is family night for married folks, atleast one night spend it like lovers.
     
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  6. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    :dev14: Happy belated birthday wishes, @ATI!

    This was a good weekend for assessing his skills.

    Men need a lot of training. Start now. Get him used to sharing household chores and watching kiddie movies. By your next birthday, you won't even have to ask, let alone beg. ;)
    .
     
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