Is Married Life Any Easier Abroad?

Its true. In laws interference does spoil lots of marital lives.
Most couples live happier abroad than India

 

Only some move in permanently, most don't

 

I live in India after marriage. I have been married for 12 years.My in laws are very very good kind hearted souls.I have zero interference from them. They support me in all aspects.My friend who lives in the US has a mother in law who calls her often and interferes in every small things.She went into utmost depression because of her though now things are better.

So it doesn't matter where you live all that matters is how you handle people around you and vice versa

 

In my case it's the reverse. NRI son doesn't send a rupee for household expenses. Forget expenses even in case of emergencies like fil hospitilazation he did not come forward to bare a minimum expense though he is earning in lakhs. Entire expense was taken care by dh without insurance. This so CALLED NRI son comes once a year with his wife and buys something very expensive ( not required ofcourse) to his mom/ dad like eye wear costing around 30k and leaves.
Though his mom questions the couple about cooking and all the smart dil carefully will skip the questions.
In India most of working people living in cities have to leave quite early to work. I was forced to cook entire meals for the family fresh on daily basis vefobe leaving for work.
But mil never questions this NRI dil who gives left over food to her dh. My bil greatly speaks about his wife though she does a minimum.
All in all as you said depends on dh where ever you are placed. A momma's boy is a momma's boy if he is in India or abroad. In that case staying in India is much better as you can visit your parents atleaat once in a while[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

 

As Someone else said in the post before, Grass is always green on the other side. Been here for more than 12 years now, was not working initially for the first couple years, been working for 10 years....with 2 kids, full time working it is always busy with routines how much ever you plan for the day. It all depends on the man of the house. I have not missed the weddings, any good events that much ( of course we have Skype, video calls and live streaming these days) but I have always felt terrible when my parents and inlaws fell sick and unable to go be with them for a few days ( my FIL is no more). Due to kids school and work, I was unable to go, be there with him in his last days. My husband went for 2-3 weeks to be with him and came. Rushing to India after hearing the death news is terrible. No, not all women ( Indian origin) in abroad can wear whatever they want. There are good things like no corruption, getting legal stuffs done easily by the process, predictable life. I always feel like if there is an elderly person at home, the arguments , fights between husband and wife will be solved quickly in india because they interfere and get them resolved...ofcourse in my early years of marriage, i have felt my MIL is interfering too much in my life but now i feel that like a blessing as she is able to point out his mistakes when he treats me bad.

Also, now that i m in my mid 30s my close relatives, parents have health problems, i feel helpless when i am unable to go see them as and when we need..

Also, here in US , my luck or not sure what to tell, got good circle of friends with family ( more like a family in India), so no boredom, no loneliness and stuff like that but there are women who are lonely and kids who dont have company other than few friends at school. it is not easy for them too if they don't have a circle outside school...

To answer your question short, no life in abroad is not easy.

 

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I completely understand your post. When we go from US to india, we go in 3-4 weeks leave and as we do all our chores here in US, we dont feel like doing much work there..but in my case, I make sure to be involved and do all house chores when i am with inlaws, when i stay the minimum time at my mom's place, most of the time , we spend the time going to relatives place, do the shopping requried to come back, spend couple days and come back.

 

I feel living abroad the husband And wife has better understandingbetween themselves. I agree initially it is very tuff as they don't have family members to solve any fights. But when they solve it among themselves the understanding is many many times stronger.
I have seen most abroad husband's talking high of their wife, which rarely occurs in India. It's always SILs and MIL that is the best.
I have a SIL who lives abroad and it's always my inlaws talk great about her that she manages everything alone. She never calls us or interacts whereas I'm always asked by DH and MIL to do so.
I feel it is better to live abroad and have good family life without interference, everything else at home are anyways managed by us, if in India or abroad.

 

It really depends on husband and his attachment. Even if you live abroad, I have seen cases where husband sponsors parents green cards and gets them to stay with them. In my view, the best thing to do is to have your own thing going on - ie, have a job, be independent and have a life away from inlaws drama - India or abroad even if for a few hours [9 to 5pm]