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Fed Up With Mother In Law

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by rosylife, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    If your MIL have any daughter, her thoughts would have been different. But still there can be double standard for DIL and own daughter.

    If you want to say NO, say NO to MIL. Dont wait for dh's approval. But find ways to say NO in a respectful way.
     
  2. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    And festival sometime have lot of work.. so can’t celebrate at the same day on both homes.. so have to alternate. MIL not happy with that .
     
  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Please check your 'Inbox'
     
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  4. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    Okay .. thanks
     
  5. sangrag

    sangrag Silver IL'ite

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    After reading too many chats that your mil is not even eligible for human kind, my guess about her rude words so far is because you kept silent from the beginning, it is not your fault, she made your situation beyond the knowledge, usually newly married girls behave in the way that its a new environment to show-up as a good dil. these mil will grasp our characters and play games when people are absent at home. don't keep pressure within you, moreover if the husbands are dumb and deaf, we have to act our own way to protect our happiness. once you got the baby she will create problems only, she will not stop , that kinda of living being. be bold and if she starts irritating(when absence of nobody at home)give the correct back answer, if she starts ill of you (infront of their relatives and ur husband) try to manage with a simple smile, and start appreciating your mil's cooking , this , that etc. just try this from my own experiencing, I lived a life like you, now changed in the above manner which I guided you. one thing please don't put pressure on you, your stress level affect your health.
    "I lost my baby 2 years before out of stress and depression haunted me, now she shut her mouth for a while."
    same baby will definitely call me "mom", that mom's health and mind is the most important.

    so don't lose anything in this world out of your stress, live the life to the fullest.

    regards
    sangrag

     
  6. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    @rosylife, you are an adult, you have to learn to fight your own battles.

    Men don't do everything their mothers tell them to. They find various ways to deal with their parents without confrontation. Watch your DH and learn from him. Follow his example when dealing with his mother.

    In general, don't lock horns with her. Don't seek revenge. Her words are just that: words. They have no power to hurt you without your consent.

    Let her say whatever she wants to, don't argue. Then go ahead and do whatever you want to.

    About buying the land she chose, tell your DH to say you don't have the money to buy property in India right now.

    Your DH is on your side. He's trying to maintain relations so he doesn't get disinherited. Work with him and forget about retaliation against his mother.

    Ask her immediately how she felt about her MIL. Did she like being treated like that?

    Don't argue with her. Just do what you want to do. Don't get drawn into discussions.
     
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  7. winterhue

    winterhue Gold IL'ite

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    Rosylife,

    My MIL is very much like yours - and I suffered in silence for almost 10 years. I still dont have the "guts" to answer back. I always become dumbstruck when she tells me something rude and then analyse about all the sassy comebacks I could have had . Last year, I decided that enough was enough. I still didnt have the courage to say anything back to her, but I just cut her off. I stopped calling her. I only give a customary "hi" and "hope you are doing great" when my husband calls her. But other than that, nothing. She plays the victim with my husband saying " I dont know why your wife wont talk to me". My husband has picked fights with me on this, but I have decided not to call her and i have told my husband the same (he doesn't call my parents either. So we are kind of even). Such Narcissists thrive on our weaknesses and use our husbands as their "flying monkeys". Just dont give in.
     
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