Want Divorce From Husband

planetx · Nov 26, 2018

My two and a half year old marriage was a disturbed one from day one. He is an extremely short tempered person with extreme mood swings. He has burnt my back twice with hot tadka. I was putting up with him because of my parents. In Dec. 2017 for a petty issue he said he would proceed with divorce. He took me to his parents’ house and there I was insulted by my FIL for the nth time.. I told him not to take me to his parent’s house and humiliate me. I said I will not stop him from visiting them but I will not come in a firm tone. He said I should not expect him to come to my parents’ house too. I said absolutely fine. He didn’t expect it. He immediately said he wants divorce. He swore he hates me and living out of compulsion. It was the second time he used D word in that week. He told he is going to apply for mutual consent divorce only. Didn’t even bother to ask my consent for it. He told that he shall drop me at my parental home. The situation was unbearable. There were altercations throughout the night. I called my parents at 4.30 AM and they landed. In their presence he told me “don’t ever come back”. We didn’t talk for eleven months. I didn’t take even a penny from our joint account for the past couple of months. He stopped transferring money long back. He withdrew all the money keeping a minimum balance in that joint account recently. Except clothes I didn’t take any of my belongings from that house. I got a SMS that he is going to vacate the house. It was just an information. It didn’t warrant any response. I came to know he has put a different lock when I visited the house. It looks like a well planned move. I was extremely irritated but still didn’t react. Suddenly I received a mail that he has packed all my belongings and will send it to my parents address. My father spoke to him over phone to discuss about how to proceed with the divorce. He is blatantly lying to my Dad he never said he is going to apply for mutual consent divorce. He told he can’t provide any suggestion. Didn’t ask me to come back either. My lawyer asked to wait for 3 days. As I didn’t get any response from husband or my in laws. I sent a SMS saying I agree for mutual consent divorce as he had asked and told it’s high time to sign the necessary papers and proceed with it. No response for that too.

My in laws did not even bother to know my side of the story in the last eleven months. They are neither letting him to live with me nor to divorce me. I’m unable to comprehend what he is up to. I don’t wish to live with him anymore. What are the courses open to me?

Rakhii · Nov 26, 2018

@planetx , with or without proof, you can still file a case of domestic violence against him. This law is in place for exactly people like you who suffer physical abuse. I am so sorry that you were burnt with hot oil and all.
Your lawyer should be able to give you some guidance; if she is asking you what to do without giving you options, I suggest you change the lawyer. because once you start paying them, its a draining machine. Trust me, I know. I have 2 close family members go through this. Get the right lawyer the first time (by looking at reviews of her/him or getting some references from the lawyer itself).

He thinks he has the upper hand. He is either delusional or has no idea how strong divorce laws have become in India. Filing a domestic violence case can actually get him arrested (including his dad). Especially if you have proof.
Mutual consent is also fine if thats what you want. You can file for the case, the papers get sent to him through mail (you can even use fed-ex if I am not mistaken). Its a long drwan process. you dont have to text him and all. Discuss what YOU want to do and proceed. good luck. I am happy you are getting out of this abusive relationship.

Sangeeta85 · Nov 26, 2018

Don’t care what inlaws think of living .
File a complaint about the abuse. Let him know the taste of jail time. Get his parents in too.

Amulet · Nov 26, 2018

You should ask your lawyer for advice. She can weigh the pros and cons of the avenues of going about getting your the divorce with minimal additional trauma for you.
Good luck with your life.

shama146 · Nov 27, 2018

Forget about ur in laws or anyone. The quickly u get divorce from this monster the better. Consult a good lawyer ASAP.

Sweetee · Nov 27, 2018

First Thing Take the final decision of getting away or try to patch up one more time ???

Also I see He is stubborn with own thing with no value to let you know or discuss with any of your family or his. This is complete carelessness .

But How this happened and what made come to this scenario figure out and Keep your situation with the Legal advisor.

Before you step out of relation find the mind in him and when you are out of this relation . You must be brave enough to forget the past. As one must live in haunting past.

Get best lawyer , friends and parents support and decide

Life is all about you - No one cares more than you . Be Strong and Happy !!!

Deborah · Nov 29, 2018

I agree with @Rakhii . You can file a domestic abuse case at any time in India , not necessarily at the time of abuse . It can be done even weeks or months later. It will work best if you have any kind of proof - hospital report , anything.
Next is domestic abuse act - this is a civil complaint, in which he can't throw you out of the shared house and in which you get your entitled money.
I suggest not waiting for him , file a police report first and then file for divorce . He will come to his senses in few days. You are entitled to alimony and monetary support too since the time he told you to leave. The domestic abuse act is for the same. No one can ask the wife to leave / get out / never show face again / displace her from the matrimonial home . There are so many laws made for the exact thing you are going through . File a police report for Domestic violence. He will himself come asking for mutual consent divorce . But in my opinion, make him pay for what he did to you first. He is mistaken that he can play you around . Don't let him.