An Alternative View - Open Marriage

Open marriage couples = Swingers.

 

Human sexuality is so wide with so many different dimensions to it. Since we don’t openly talk about our sexual nature we either think we are odd for having a certain feeling or project our own sexual nature on to others & think all are like us. We need to decide what relationship fit our need better, for some like me, freedom is important so I have it even though it is challenging at times. Another person might not be keen on having freedom.

All human relationships comes with different kinds of problems, we trade one for another depending on what we want. There is no perfect relationship model. What I want in a society is for it to accept the choice of individuals without being judgmental.

 

Freedom is traded for the expected synergy*.

• When things do not pan out as expected, it would seem like one had traded in the freedom and got a bad deal in the exchange.
• Marriages do not all happen after due diligence examination of the expectations, and their likelihood of fruition. There are no consumer protection schemes, or failure insurance plans, or automatic sunset schedules.

*synergy /ˈsɪnədʒi/ noun : the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.

sunset schedule: Imagine a brave new world, where all property is community property (equally shared between the married couple) and all marriages end every five years (sunset), unless renewed by the happy couple. Renewal fees, and property division and reregistration fees in case of non-renewal would be new revenue streams for the government. Since divorces would be automatic, the family court queues will totally disappear. Everyone will get divorced, (unless opt-in for marriage continuation) and live happily ever after.

 

Just curious, you are a big advocate of open marriage and seem to be going on and on and on about it. Is this an excercise to convince yourself or the rest of us ?

 

Most people cannot live a detached way of life. Maybe once leading an ascetic kind of life can have detachment. Marriage involves a strong emotional dependence and that includes being more possessive of their partners and kids. That’s how the human mind works.

In polyamory one needs lots of detachment and to avoid being jealous. This is way beyond what most humans can do. A person who is not emotionally attached to people or relationships are fit to be in such relationships.

Maybe for you detachment is much easier but for me and many other such people in monogamous relationships it isn’t possible. One shoe doesn’t fit all. So we choose what we deemed will fit us well.

And this a good read.
https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.thefemininewoman.com/polyamory-why-never-work-long-term/amp/

 

• Remove the constriction of marriage.
• Be financially secure to run your own life the way you wish.
• Go after whatever relationships you want/can get.
• Seek no approbation for what you do (i.e., don't be open).

A successful/happy open marriage could be neither open nor marriage. Isn't it ?

Sounds like a Sufi poet.