How To Deal Money Matter With In-laws

good opinion

 

1. Put maximum possible in you EPF.
2. Start PPF and save 1.5 lakhs a year there. Say that everyone at office is starting together.
3. Start PPF for husband also.
4. Start a pension plan. Don't know about ROI on NPS. But it offers 50k extra savings under section 80c.
5. Don't withdraw entire salary. Government monitors cash withdrawals greater than a certain amount and it is best to write cheques and electronic transfers for investments. Never give your passwords to them. Say that bank requires you to keep changing them. Always keep **only your** mobile number for account notifications. Otherwise it is illegal and banks can deny deny protection against fraud

Recently there was a case when husband tried to take money using wife's ATM card. Some issue occurred during transaction and court ruled in favour of bank for not refunding the amount lost since ATMs cards are not transferable.

Husband cannot use wife's debit card, says court

Any investment done by PIL on your behalf should have only you as the beneficiary. Else after their time, the relations between your husband's siblings or may be even your kids could get affected. Ask your husband if that is worth it.

Make slow changes of doing your own investments. Start your own RDs and tie up money elsewhere. Once you have your own financial commitments, they cannot force you to break those.

 

Don’t worry about what’s past. Just move forward with what you know now.

 

I hope you already got good tips and tricks o how to manage the situation. I think its is better to go slow as they are nice. But you can tell your dh that we will contribute as a family to his PILS, a fixed amount every month. you can tell him if he want to continue with this set up its up to him, but you will manage your salary, as your dh promised it. So he has to stick with it. Tell him very frankly that you are very uncomfortable in this set up and unhappy. It has nothing to do with trust. You believe in his parents, but not like to be controlled financially. Be open and communicate well, without blaming -like what you can do or what his suggestion on it. But do what you think is right.

You can tell him you dont want his parents to feel bad, but contribute as a family not as individual every month as you both are a team. Give the your contribution to him and ask him to give to PILs. Let him deal with his father. I think its is better to avoid financial transactions with FIL or talk on that topic. But slowly start your own savings through methods suggested by other ILites. Dont worry about the money already gone. Silently watch. Its better to avoid any talk on your own savings. Once your savings grow, you will be happy. If you allow any one to control you, they will do it to their maximum. Don't allow anyone , even dh to do that beyond your comfort zone. Dont change what you are for others. Else you feel suffocated even in a love marriage.

Be nice and treat PILs well. Take care of them well. Then they will have no complaint in that department. Be firm with whatever you want to tell, but polite & sweet. Think very well before you talk. Slowly take control of your finances and be independent in that way. Give respect ,then take respect, be confident and be yourself.
Good luck.

 

Lakshya, I'm posting here because your case has similarities with my sister's I will give a detailed reply later how she managed to come out of her problem. But you're only worrying about your relationship with your husband. Why he is not worried. what did he do to convince your parents after LM. did he atleast reassure your parents that he will take care of you properly. see happy marriage relationship is possible only if both of them want it. Looks like now your husband's priority is his parents he is taking you for granted.