What Kind Of A Dil Are You ?

SinghManisha · Aug 30, 2018

Most human beings are not perfect . This includes us DIL’s. Please list one quality that you think makes you a almost perfect DIL. Also list one trait / incident that you could have changed . Keep it funny and free from PIL bashing !

I start with mine :

Good quality:
Amenable and accommodating. I once sat through a entire Tamil movie with no subtitles to give company to my MIL.

Not so positive : I can get very possessive about my kids. I get a little antsy when they spend less time with me and more with PIL’s. I am trying to change that.

sunshine1970 · Aug 30, 2018

Hi good thread:

Good quality: I am very forgiving and try to find the good in people. IL have wronged me so many times but I try to forgive them.

Not so positive: I am very very sensitive and take things to personally. IL may be talking about something in general but I will assume they saying about me and get upset over it.

armummy · Aug 30, 2018

good point - no interference in mom -sonss affairs.i do encourage my husband to splurge on his family, do plan for vacations when they are here to make sure they have good time. don't interfere when she takes over my home when she is here, I take it as break for me. Send my mil and dh alone for shopping as she feels more comfortable with him.zero interest in knowing family gossip, I take things at face value ,no searching for hidden motives.

bad point: I am not talkative or expressive, which I think is needed to build relationships , trying to improve on this front

Dishaa · Aug 31, 2018

Hi,

Good point : Helpful and adjusting. Try to help family members both side and try to adjust irrespective of differences.

Bad point: Can't interact much with people reserved by nature.

nakshatra1 · Sep 1, 2018

Good thing in me is I genuinely do care for my in-laws especially MIL . I don't get angry much because eI always think it's my husband's parents and they deserve our understanding and support , I try not to get offended on every little thing . . I try to avoid unnecessary arguments and always try to start on fresh slate and make things better .

Bad thing is sometimes instead of communication directly , I ask my husband convey something on my behalf , and as he speaks very briefly it gets misunderstood.

annu78 · Sep 1, 2018

Good thing is I have never tried to come between the son and his parents.They can share whatever they want with each other without my interference. Since they are his parents, I have given them number of chances inspite of their rude behaviour.

Bad thing is that once I realised that they would never change, I pulled myself back from making efforts to please them. Because of my sensitive nature, I can't forgive and forget insults.

Rihana · Sep 1, 2018

Good quality: When needed, I fully give in to tradition and ritual. Need to touch feet of some Tom, Hari and Hari-Putter? No problemo. Bring them on. Show me the pair of feet and consider the task done. : ) Women serve men food, and eat later? Women clear the table while men relax? Chinta nakko, worry not, count me in. And them jeans and capris and bad bad western wear.. totally hidden away. Bindi- check, bangles check, mangalsutra-check, ear-rings check, toe-rings - check!

Jokes aside, both DH and I simply do what we need to when with my family or his. Easier than for others, since it is only in visits. But still this gets appreciated, and I've got many a brownie point... lives in phoren, but so susheel.

Not so positive: In many families, it is the women and DIL who maintain more contact with in-laws, make sure husband calls on festivals, birthdays, and at least weekly once. It even becomes one more thing to nag the husband about. I didn't do as much as I could have in this regard. Could have more often simply dialed the number and given him the phone, saying, "Talk."

anika987 · Sep 1, 2018

1) Never came between mother and son

2) Will pick up even her coffee cups and plates which she eats and leaves it where it is

3) will buy and please her with gifts

4) she will watch iPad with cross legs 24/7,dismiss my cooking,insult my education,looks and compare me and still not talk back.and this when I had a newborn.

5) everytime talk about karma,cry and I listen..a lot!

6) She interferes a lot and loves in hallucination that she is wonderful and does not interfere.

7)I tolerate and lament in indusladies

8) asked her bluntly once that I do so
Much and still what takes to
Please you..she said nothing and I have no problem!!

I guess I am a okay DIL.

SinghManisha · Sep 2, 2018

Thank you @sunshine1970 @armummy @Dishaa @nakshatra1 @annu78 @anika987 @Rihana for sharing your opinions about yourselves as DIL’s !

alady2018 · Sep 5, 2018

What a lovely thread. This is eye opening for me. I am not even a fraction as nice as you ladies are to your MILs. i.e. I stopped going out of my way to please in-laws. @SinghManisha - great idea for a positive thread in the in-laws forum. Hats off to you!!