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Who Is Right Here?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by senoritaaa, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    "he will look at good looking ones promptly"
    Don't you look at beautiful men or women or anything. I feel even the husband of the most beautiful woman in the world will look at another beautiful woman. Its a natural instinct.

    But staring anyone without any manners is horrible. That's a different issue. A sunglasses can solve many issues, I believe:).

    If he comment on another women to you, you can also comment on another handsome man to him. Give the same taste. Try to smile when he do this and give the impression that you are not affected. Allow him to be himself. If you fight on this he will start doing the same behind your back as you said ("When i am not around, I know he is very talkative to women")

    OP, I can understand well what you feel, but dont take this issue very seriously and spoil your happiness.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2018
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  2. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    men look. Period. the amount of look will vary based on how they were raised or based on their background when they grew up. some more and some less.

    that said, you H has a very extrovert personality. you cannot control that. more you do, it will turn into something negative which you do not want.

    i feel if he is transparent in every aspect of his life, no hiding smart phone , texts. does not comment other women and compare. Is not obsessed with 1 particular woman in your group. learn to work around this issue.
    just because he likes to talk cannot mean, he will come home and after kids sleep take his phone and talk to different women. there are boundaries.

    your messages does not suggest anything.


    you need to work on yourself. live a life . start doing things which you always wanted to do.
     
  3. BiriyaniAroma

    BiriyaniAroma Silver IL'ite

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    Really surprised to read a answer from such a woman of wisdom, like you ! (Your posts will be one of the very sensible and wisdom filled posts in this forum)

    Men are visual creatures, they definitely look around. What is wrong is , the offensive way of looking at other women, so obviously, like the OP's husband. There are very decent and subtle ways of looking at others, without being noticed, and without sounding doing the act of "ogling".

    "Ogling" is offensive to everyone, not , "subtle looking"!

    Expecting a man, not to look at any woman other than his wife, is unrealistic !
     
  4. BiriyaniAroma

    BiriyaniAroma Silver IL'ite

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    Expecting @Rakhii to comment, please.
     
  5. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    hey hun, from the original post, it doesnt appear like he was 'just looking'. I am going to take OPs word here; if he is merely looking here and there and not gaping, I dont think she would have opened a thread.
    It came across like he was looking at other women in a way that is making OP feel uncomfortable. That is why I said, if its bothering OP, then I think the husband should stop looking at other women in a way that makes OP feel uncomfortable. I did not intend to say men shouldnt look at other women. I meant to say, if the ogling is bothering the wife, then he should stop; like, its disrespectful to the wife when all a man does is to start searching for other women to look at.
    I agree, its unrealistic and unnecessary to say dont look at anyone other than the spouse (applies to men and women). I hope this clears the confusion :)
     
  6. BiriyaniAroma

    BiriyaniAroma Silver IL'ite

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    Precisely said !:beer-toast1:
     
  7. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    If he keeps ogling random women, he's likely to get beaten up. Walk at a safe distance from him, so you don't get hit by a stray fist. :neutral:
    .
     
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