Should “ Family” &”friends” Be The Key To Happiness??

Cannot figure out, what am I missing or misplaced? Still searching for it .

 

Hi @anika987

I can totally understand what you are trying to say.Howmuch ever one tries to convince oneself that happiness lies only in one’s own hands I feel it is just not possible to actually follow it.

Even I stay abroad and I miss my family so much.It has been 4 years that I have left India but not a day passes without me thinking about my home ,my parents ,my sister.Especially afternoons I feel sad and homesick.

You know I wish I could turn back time and not get married to an NRI guy.It was never my intention to settle in US and I had asked my husband before marriage if he had plans of returning to India and he said he would definitely.I am not so sure that he would now.

I feel like I am missing out on so much precious time with them.Nowadays I am trying to stay positive and keeping busy with my kid or trying to do something productive.But I worry about my parents back home.

I don’t really have any tips for you but I feel we both crave for India in the same way .Do PM me if you want to talk further.

 

When separated from you family, no more meddling, no more unwanted advise on career, or food or raising your children.
You are free to live your style, not what culture dictates.
No more indirect criticism or passive-aggressive head games.

Ask yourself this question and apply it to anything ok?
"What would you have done, had THEY(family) not convinced/meddled you to decide ___________ . "

Having decided to live elsewhere = there was something more important, a need more important. Not just money but living your own life not the life others imagine for you. Family may be familiar and feel safe, but the day everyone dies, and your children grow up and move away. It's just you and your husband. Learn to be your own best friend with your own outside interests, or make your husband your best friend---IF possible lol.
Old age is not the time to explore your marriage.
Explore your marriage now itself.

Only God can provide the peace you seek. You can't rely on humans for that. Humans are fallible and flawed. Get to know HIM =
#JESUSCHRIST

 

@anika987 when we let go of expectations we become free.Having a loving and supportive family is entirely dependent on the lottery of ur birth. and good friendships are dependent on so many other variables not in our control. Call it destiny , call it whatever. I must have spent almost entire life wanting my family life to be a certain way and that expectation only brought disappointment and heartbreak. I wanted my mother to be like all mothers loving and patient. My mother was self absorbed , detached and cruel at times.there was no midway here. She couldn't have changed and I couldn't accept any less. so my mind tormented me with what could have been till I accepted atleast partly that my expectation that she would change and shower me with love and that would make me happy forever was an illusion and a childish dream at best. When there are no expectations, there are no disappointments .
I believe no one can make us truly happy, because everyone has their own demons to deal with. During childhood I expected my parents would do things to make me happy , in adulthood I expected my husband to the same . but life happens and none of that worked out that way. I have good and supportive friends , but I am careful not to over expect things from them. Once bitten, forever shy. While I firmly believe in theory that only we can make ourselves happy , I am still seeking how that can actually work practically. but to start with , practice gratitude. Even while lacking family close by and friends, you still have many other things that half the worlds population would die for.

 

Though not directly they pester via phones