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Remembering Sarasa Atthai

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SCSusila, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    In a response to my previous snippet , @Thyagarajan had said that when a spouse or anybody is asked to give opinion on a dress or anything , “the person asked feels elevated status”.


    This brought a big smile on my face . i remembered one person who always felt so very elevated when asked , that she almost thought she was god.

    She was my dear aunt , Sarasa. A very lively person who liked to make everybody’s business her own . A regular BusyBody .


    She was totally convinced that she had a solution for everything and so she had a right to give her opinion on everything !


    In those days, when i was young , older relatives enjoyed great freedom . Younger people mostly listened , without answering back or arguing .

    Older people were free to walk into our rooms without a notice , they would freely inspect all our things , open our letters , give opinions( mostly negative) and lots of unwanted advice on everything.
    Sarasa Atthai was an expert in this .


    She felt entitled to pass rude remarks about our appearance , complexion, height , intelligence , dress anything , even in big gatherings . Nothing was politicallycorrect with her.


    Funny thing is , in those days, none of us got offended ! We just brushed off everything , saying “thats old sarasa atthai and her usual blabber” . I cant imagine how today’syoungsters would react to someone like her !


    Taking her with us when shopping used to be a nightmare . The biggest mistake was to ask her , “Atthai , is this good ?“
    Nothing we chose was ever approved by her .

    Whatever we picked up, she always found fault . the colour or the design or the material or the price something or the other was always wrong . So we would have to invade at least four shops , look through hundreds of bales of cloth , with Atthai checking everything minutely with a Quality Controller’s zeal, just to buy a simple davani cloth !

    ( if we dint ask , that would become a bigger mistake . she would sulk , keep the grudge , and keep saying nasty things whenever that davani was worn ! )

    Her favourite opening phrase , before giving opinion was : “ Ennai kettaka ...” ( = if you ask me ). Even in situations when no one actually asked her ! So much self importance the dear lady had !


    Sarasa Atthai was a real cartoon ! Though sometimes we got irritated with her opinions , we loved her very much .


    Somewhere in pitru loka , she must still be giving her opinions and getting on other pitru nerves !!!!!!
     
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear @SCSusila ,

    I think we all have that 'one athai' in every family! I am sure they are well loved and they understand that.
    Of course if we didn't ask, either it is sulk sulk sulk or offer an opinion anyways with a "If you ask my opinion" like the way you mentioned. It is a no win/win what else can we do other than love them and ask their opinions. This is what makes families, families!

    Enjoyed reading your narration.
     
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  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:I am glad that my statement in your previous snippet has taken new root in the form atthai Sarasa.
    2. In any close knitted family there are bound to be couple of Sarasas who act as drag and nettlesome yet one loves them.
    3. I wonder how Sarasas of the world digest opinions of others sought or unsought or unsolicited when they buy or do a thing!
    Thanks & Regards.
    GOD BLESS.
     
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  4. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you, @Srama .
    True , whats a Family without a few memorable characters !
     
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  5. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you @Thyagarajan .
    I dont know about other Sarasas of the world, but our own Sarasa Atthai never even acknowledged others opinions on anything concerning her . It was like she dint even hear. Or if she heard , she would wave it off like some silly talk by an idiot ! One tough nut she was !
     
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  6. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Very enchanting memoir on your Athai.
    Well such folks bring some interest in the family I suppose.
    Enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  7. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Susila Madam,
    There are Saraswati Athai in all the families. They make life interesting....especially in joint families. Beauty of Indian joint families is diversity. Without diversity wouldn't life be boring if everyone agrees with everyone? Why people like Saras atthai talk like that.....reason is they feel wanted and they seek for attention. Though she is irritating at times nobody snaps her. Just laugh away and move on. All this because love for her is mutual. We do miss her when she is no more.
    Syamals
     
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  8. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Reminded of a play 'oor vambu' by Marina some 40 years back.A lady character used to gossip a lot and at the end of the conversation she would say'namakku ennaththukku oor vambu?"(why should we bother about others?)I think it came as a serial in Vikatan also.

    Though many people pretend not to bother about the personal matters in the
    life of others,there seems to be an inner urge to know the details.Is there any
    silent pleasure to enjoy other’s miseries?Or is their mind brimmed with lakhs
    of materials that they want to relieve their tension by passing them on to others?
    Do they want to be the centre of a conversation and make their listeners nod to
    them attentively?Is it any urgency to get into a group by sharing juicy details
    with them?Even our epics Ramayana and Mahabharata are abound in such
    gossips.Perhaps we are following Sage Narada and Lord Krishna only in respect
    of gossips.

    In olden days gossips were limited to social gatherings and temple festivals.
    But now a days gossip taps at our door.In the last 20years, media influence
    has grown exponentially.Whereas many good things are not viewed by the public,
    thousands of images of violence,advertising, etc are exposed to the public through TV and internet.This is a booster to the innate instinct of gossiping.
    Becoming addict to mega serial is an indirect expression of finding a secret pleasure in gossiping about the sadistic events, mostly sorrowful.Unfortunately these gossipers include the most intelligent people having a thirst for knowledge.
    Gossip has metamorphosed into a new word”CHAT” or’share ideas’and has coolly occupied the centre stage of every home.
    We cannot deny that every one of us take the role of Sarasa Athai on one occasion or other.

    Mostly people will pass scandalous remarks on others and add an allonge”I am
    saying all these things only in his/her interest.’’otherwise “naalu per naalu vidham pesuvanga’(Four people will talk in 4 ways).Nobody knows who those wonderful four people are and what they will talk.These hypothetic four are the trouble makers.

    Gossip normally emanates out of fear,anger and jealousy and causes great hurt and damage to reputation leading to the unfortunate decision of suicide.Gossip is an emotional lethal.It is a phenomenon worthy of serious research.This topic has not been given the due attention it deserves.

    The influence of gossip is manifold.Gossip , at its magnificence, during elections may have considerable impact on political parties and can take credit for landslide victory/utter defeat.Gossip in stock market may drown the investors and corporates into a trench;Gossip in exam results may lead a student to take extreme steps.Gossip does not leave religious heads also.Any gossip regarding a boy or girl ruins the entire family.Well known is gossip in film industry.
    Lord Rama is stated to have sent Sita in exile after listening to some gossip by a washerman in order to protect his Raja Dharma! What dharma these gossip mongers are going to protect ? How can a temporary gratification of a handful justify such a great havoc in the society?

    But gossip has its positive side too.In a closely knit urban communities, sharing of
    thoughts through gossip creates an awareness regarding education, health care, banking etc.Gossip helps in team building and cohesiveness.It helps in self assessment and setting parameters for one’s behaviour.

    In an environment where communication is very poor and everybody works in an isolated cubicle ,gossip will become inevitableThose small whisperings about merger
    or demerger or downsizing,whether right or wrong ,may give the people concerned
    an opportunity to polish their resume and keep them mentally prepared for a change.
    The boss also has to keep his ears open to the gossip and get a clue regarding the’ behind the scene’ developments.Gossip is considered to be one of the shrewd methods of investigation techniniques in judicial wing.

    Gossip is an inseparable part of organizational set up.Words tagged with appreciation and gratitude will help a long way in identifying the thread of talent inherent in the gossip monger and the affected .Once this is set in motion, there is a healthy spark.
    Now a days pages and pages of articles have been written on the positive side of gossip, as to how it gives an opportunity to rectify one's mistakes without having a first hand experience of any event,how it mirrors the practical reality, how it gives timely warnings and how it improves the mental make up and so on.

    We cannot create a gossip free world.It is an inherent strength/weakness of
    the society. As long as there are human beings,gossip is sure to exist In stead of complaining against gossip ,we can live among gossip,can turn the negative gossip into positive ones by creating awareness and confidence among people.Identify gossips as’what to care’ and ‘what to ignore’,guided by common sense.

    The word gossip seems to have been derived from God-sib(related to God),sibling of God,modified later.Everything connected with God is so close to us and can never leave us.Isn't it?
    Love gossip,live with gossip.
    ( Extract from my article which was published in Indian Express in 2013)

    Jayasala 42
     
  9. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you .
    Quirky relatives always add some zest to ordinary life . Especially in memories .
     
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  10. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    Thankyou for response .
    Life in a large joint family is always interesting .
    Who knows what psychological reasons people have for their behaviours ! As far as I can remember those , some of those olden day ladies were just made that way :)
     

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