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How To Get Respect As Housewife?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Jun 5, 2018.

  1. chasingdreams

    chasingdreams Bronze IL'ite

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    OP,
    The shortest answer to your question is just respect yourself. others may or may not respect you.learn to ignore. I was judged when i had a high income job, was judged when i was a SAHM and am still being judged when i took up a low paying job to manage my career and family life. I have learned to tune my DH out when he passes comments about my job. But once , i looked him in the eyes and told that if he makes derogatory remarks in front of my child, i will pack my bags and leave with my child . He was intelligent enough to realize his foolhardiness and has been respectful of my feelings ever since . But you can do this and get away only with people who have some sense of respect for women.else its a lost case
     
  2. lathasaravanan7

    lathasaravanan7 New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    I am home maker as well as doing business from home. Yes, I can understand all the feelings and emotions linked behind the sentence.

    My one question is you live your life. Why do you want to peep into others. The people who think that home makers are sitting whole day without doing any job, politely ask them to do the job one day. Tell them that you are leaving to your mom's home or to his mothers house to take care so that he can take care of the house one day totally completely without anybody helping. Then they will understand the pain of the homemaker.

    And about friends who look down upon you, ignore them. As they have joined job because they want to skip all these. They are not capable of handling the home maker job properly, so they have kept maid. If the maid does not turn up one day, see the hue and cry they make.

    When they talk, just ask them how much they pay for the maid. You save so much of money to your husband. The amount they spend on their children playschool, day care. Just imagine the amount you are spending.

    Actually your savings to your husband is more than what they earn. They go out slog themselves (as per them) and earn, you being at your own home, being your own boss, save money.

    What more respect you need. You are your own boss.

    You should be proud of being a home maker. Please if you don't believe and respect yourself who will respect you.

    Always believe in yourself. You are the best!!!

    Hats off to all homemaker.....
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:This FB STANDS OUT and outstanding among the rest .
    2. You are cent percent correct sister in your views and assertions.
    3. Imagine the world without home makers. All work in office or factory, live in hotels or in hostels and eat in restaurants.
    4. The civilisation WOULD come to a halt. Industries would collapse.
    5. I would like to nominate this FB FOR the BEST POST AWARD for month of JUNE 2018.
    Thanks and regards.
    GOD BLESS US all always .
     
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  4. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    That's true that home maker saves more money than the earnings of working women. If someone can calculate monetarily then going to job is more expensive. The main thing that I feel lacks in hm is when they don't give time to their knowledge upgradation. If we can remain updated can give our children something extra and remain confident of speaking about anything in front of anyone then no one can say a word to us.
     
  5. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    I know SAHM who are treated like queens and working moms like trash. It does not define the person but it says a lot about the other person who respects/disrespects. You need to be confident in what you are doing and have self respect. Trust that you are providing the best to your family. But at the same time take time for yourself. Do what you like to do caring for yourself. Ignore the ones who ill treat you and move on.
     
  6. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    As human beings we all need appreciation in our life. It is very tiring to lead a life where we are put down all the time. I personally find ignoring will not work in all cases. We cannot ignore all the days. I have personally faced this in my life. We will keep building up these emotions and eventually it will affect our health . I would say don't ignore all the comments instead let people know how much you work hard. Especially if the comments are coming from immediate family. As such life is hard.In addition people who are supposed to be supportive criticize and make it worst. Unless everyone is Yogi it is hard to ignore and walk away all the time.
     
  7. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    I do understand ignoring doesn’t help all the time but so is making someone understand and appreciate ones effort. It’s more tiring, draining and frustrating. It would be like blowing one’s own trumpet all the time to which no one will bother to pay attention after a brief period. What works for OP and what not OP has to figure it out.
     
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  8. adismom

    adismom Bronze IL'ite

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    I was a stay at home mom for many years. One thing i realized was when my husband came home from a long day of work, if he saw me sitting or watching tv etc, it would irritate him. Thoughi would have had a productive day and would-have done a lot of chores, what he would assume was that i have be lazing around all day.
    So i made sure that i would relax during the day and did what i wanted , but would always be cleaning the kitchen or doing some chore when he came back ! Sometimes such little things can prevent arguments
     
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:That is why it is always better to leave some tale -tale signs both at home and in office, as boss would always be pleased to see work is always under progress and not bothered about the work that has been perfectly completed.
    2. After cleaning the floor leave the tools such as bucket with dirty water, swab stick, broom hard and soft, cleaned vessals or dishes from wash basin, keep them on cooking platform in a basket all in display not in their designated place in shelf or on the wall.( if small kids are there take care these are beyond their reach)
    3.In office finished case files, I used to accumulate and keep in IN tray rather put it in out tray for the moment it is in out tray the office boy lift and make it empty.
    4. Evening don't leave before boss, staying few minutes after his leaving will do a world of good for your career and promotion and empathy etc. even the very sight of completed case files lying in IN tray will please the government boss.
    5. In private office, the moment you completed the work to perfection, leave some tell-tale signs evidencing that you had done it after "great deal of effort" lest for boss you are one among hundreds. This tips for office applicable to only India and not for other geographies.
    6. Even at home, I leave tell tale signs of my executing the work that pleases especially my spouse. for example after cleaning or wiping the dirt on furniture, clock, TV etc., with moist cloth leave the dirty cloth close to the equipment and article that was wiped( till the pleasing effect demonstrated by your partner or spouse).
    7. do impossible work first and difficult and simple work later.
    thanks and regards.
    God Bless.
    these tips might earn you atleast some empathy but not disrespect. this is the reality.

    thanks and regards.
    God Bless.
     
  10. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    I am a sahm since 4 years.

    A couple of weeks ago, a relative aunt visited us. She had brought lots of bakery items. I asked her casually why bring so much and her immediate reply was, you are there no to sit and eat. She takes tuitions at home and is actually slogging. I had slogged for many years and myself feeling bad for not being going to work now. Some people just enjoy passing such hurting comments.

    Another long distance friend has now got into a job after a break since her dds birth. She used to share with me most of her good things like vacations, trips, haircuts ,etc and also worries like her dds late talking, walking, under weight, her elder kids arrogant behaviour, mobile addiction, etc. We were also motivating each other for weight loss. But after she got into the job, there is no response to messages. Saddest part is she didn't even bother to inform that she started working. Only through her WhatsApp status I came to know about it. I understand that she would be busy with her job n kids but her cold attitude is actually hurting me.
     
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