Parents Issues

Not getting into a debate over the societal norms, why not ask your own dad directly when he's the deciding person?

 

I guess the best would be to speak to your father openly about your issue and tell him you are unhappy about not receiving a gift. May be the thought did not cross his mind or he does not have the money.
Only he can tell you the right reason.

 

I think your parents gifted you the jewellery & clothes during your wedding if i am not wrong, now it's your brother's wedding and it's his/his wife's turn to get gifts. I think you should not feel bad about this. May be your parents spend huge amount in the wedding, so may not be in a position to spend more. You should consider your parents situation instead of feeling bad.

Why should they give you & your sister gifts? Why can't you & your sister give some gifts to your parents....if it's your brother's wedding, then it's their son's wedding right?

If your parents gift you something, accept it happily...if not still accept the situation happily. Foundation of good relations are - Adjustment, compromise & accepting the situation and people as they are.....what others will say shouldn't be a problem to you because those others and society is not your family members. If your in laws and husband question you about gifts, tell them your parents already spent lot of money in the wedding and you told them to not to spend any more money for your gifts.

Please don't feel bad about my response, I always feel sorry for parents who spend their life in raising their kids and satisfying their kids needs by sacrificing their own wishes. Once kids settle down in the life, then it's the turn of parents to enjoy the life without any obligations and commitments. We should not bother them with these petty issues in the name of customs and traditions. It's our turn to protect parents in their old age by keeping them happy and not to bother them with these petty issues. My suggestion is not to bother your parents by questioning about the gifts. Instead of that ask them if they need any help as they already incurred huge expenses in the name of wedding. Help them if you can.

 

I guess your parents would have spent even more or at least equal for clothes and gold for you and your sisters' marriages . Now it's the sons marriage it's his turn they are doing for him what they did for you .your dad has avoided means he has monetary issue or he needs to save for himself now in old age .

As for society it has many evil expectations are you ready to follow them all in life ? You can explain to your husband your old parents have spent lot for your wedding already. Now it is time for you to think what you can do for parents .

And our society rules are not universal. There are also many women in this same society who pay for their own marriage and gold, many are helping parents financially too. I know it's not possible for everyone but at least should not keep monetary expectations from parents after marriage . If someone questions you abt the gifts, tell them proudly that you are not in favour of married daughters taking monetary gifts from parents but should help parents instead.

 

Is the husband asking you about what you received? He should not be & if he does , then if I were you I would consider him very greedy. No dignified husband asks his wife what she got from parents!

If he still does, just show him one of the jewelry pieces you recd from parents during wedding & say you recd that to cover for them. Though the right answer to such a husband shd be “nothing, so why don’t you head to Kay jewelers & buy me something, since they didn’t! “

 

I understand your situation totally dear. Same had happened with me too, I had given Gold and other gifts along with clothes to my SIL but mother never bothered to give even a small gift to me or my kids. Its not that we are being greedy or we really need some gifts. But it feels bad when some friend or relative from in laws side asks about it.