How To Tackle This

Dear nakahatra,
You have summoned it. The words my mil speaking is pent up of is her inner feelings. She had a very big mouth. I never like confrontations. Soi in initial years i was submissive as i brought up and belived in such thinking. Though my parents gave me very good education but they to too had some old thoughts.

Buy i waked up in right time and started to give it back to her then and there. She is not able to take that as once a submissive and naive girk is talking and equally with her.thats why those indirect comments and insecure of her son. I dont know why she is so much insecure inspite of what we did to them.

No my parents has every right to visit me and no compromise on that but in each and everything my pils are creating one thing or the other. Im not able to handle that stress. Relations sonetimes very complicated.

All in all i cannot blame my hus completely though he had his share of emitional abuse in initial years on me. He used to be very short tempered and inlaws used to add the fire as we r in long distance. But now he has changed. He understands and comforts me though we have occasional arguments.

He even helped my parents financially when there is emergency without knowledge of my pils. My parents give for their pleasure for festivals like deepawali and pongal as it our custom if i say no they will feel bad. I really want to know who made these customs and punch in his face.

 

Unless daughters take a stand for their parents and ensure they never have to bend down to accommodate the needs of in-laws the society will still demand sons and consider them superior. So the change should begin from us.
Daughters have to demand for the respect and ensure their parents are equally respected and this is very important to them. It is never okay for a Son IL or his parents to take the girls parents for granted irrespective of their financial or personal issues.[/QUOTE]

Yes dear just now the journey started sure one day we will be there where they will be no gender inequality and all this boys parents, girls parents ********. But its a very long journey. None of my cousins had these issues but some families are struck with age old traditions like mine..

Change should start from our house i had 1 boy and 1 girl. Boy is elder im already teaching him about this things. Im teaching him small household works also. Daughter is infant when she grows up i will teach her also. Moreover i will never put our burden on our son alone. Hoping for tbe best.


May be after 25 to 30 years we can a visble change. Hoping