Little Things Bothering Me...

peartree · Jan 5, 2018

I feel for some in-laws - damned if you do and damned if you don't!!

They are coming all the way to take care of you and your unborn baby.... isn't that enough, OP? Let these thoughts pass and enjoy your soon to be here little one!!

ameya12 · Jan 5, 2018

nomad24 said: ↑

hi all,

im 37 weeks. Off late a few thoughts are bothering me wrt my in laws. They are extremely nice and I get along well with them. They are coming over to UK to help me with the baby as they were super excited for a first grandchild.

The thoughts that have been bothering me are: Its always me and my husband who call them up in India to ask how they are doing. They are very tech savvy, use whatsapp, email, skype. They never call or message me or hubby on their own to ask how I am doing. I am sure they care. But if we dont call for a week if busy, they dont message to check or call. While my mum or dad would message me on whatsapp, a simple one liner - how are you..all well etc etc. evryday or alternate days. I feel cared for, am I wrong in expecting my in laws to enquire about me if we havent spoken for a week or 5 days.

Also, my mother/father keep asking if I want anything from India so they courier it or send through inlwas when they come closer to delivery. My in laws have not asked me once if you need anything from india and they are coming in 14 days. This is bothering me slightly and I dont want to share this with my husband as it will upset him, I am sure he feels it too. Its not like I want them to pamper me or take care of me but just a simple message/call to check how I am seems thoughtful.

Am I overthinking or its just my hormones. What do you think?
Click to expand...

take care of your baby. Being a mom is great

nakshatra1 · Jan 5, 2018

Your inlaws are extremely nice- consider yourself blessed. You are finding problems where there are none.

Sometimes, elders feel we should only call them- something about respect. Or they are mature and giving you space. In any case, please don't over analyse and take these silly tensions during pregnancy.

I hope when your inlaws arrive in 2 weeks they will win you over with their nice behaviour and caring and you will forget these things.So, why spoil the mood now?

Wish you all the best to be a new mommy!

September2015 · Jan 16, 2018

nomad24 said: ↑

hi all,

im 37 weeks. Off late a few thoughts are bothering me wrt my in laws. They are extremely nice and I get along well with them. They are coming over to UK to help me with the baby as they were super excited for a first grandchild.

The thoughts that have been bothering me are: Its always me and my husband who call them up in India to ask how they are doing. They are very tech savvy, use whatsapp, email, skype. They never call or message me or hubby on their own to ask how I am doing. I am sure they care. But if we dont call for a week if busy, they dont message to check or call. While my mum or dad would message me on whatsapp, a simple one liner - how are you..all well etc etc. evryday or alternate days. I feel cared for, am I wrong in expecting my in laws to enquire about me if we havent spoken for a week or 5 days.

Also, my mother/father keep asking if I want anything from India so they courier it or send through inlwas when they come closer to delivery. My in laws have not asked me once if you need anything from india and they are coming in 14 days. This is bothering me slightly and I dont want to share this with my husband as it will upset him, I am sure he feels it too. Its not like I want them to pamper me or take care of me but just a simple message/call to check how I am seems thoughtful.

Am I overthinking or its just my hormones. What do you think?
Click to expand...

What a blessing, I will give you my in-laws and I’ll take yours. Be happy you get it from your own parents...yes you are overthinking. Low or zero expectations is a very freeing thing. Embrace it. It’s worse when your mingling style is constantly scrutinized (lived that for 5 years of hell) No “hurt feelings” about how you are spending more time with one sister over another....it was hell I tell you. They were NEVER satisfied, always complained to my husband yet my husband kept telling me they liked me very much—-it was very confusing and stressful. I don’t miss it one bit!

akrutisyd · Feb 8, 2018

Looking at your post, i feel am not alone in this world. Same feelings earlier. When they are far it’s different, when they come to your place it’s different. Don’t expect all the help like mom from them. Usually they are more concerned about baby and their leisure time. If its their first visit, there might be many instances; which change the relationship and its perception so far. Seen in many friends cases. Just don’t think too much about their presence, enjoy your pregnancy and take care of yourself. Don’t hesitate to ask help from them when needed. Expection and comparison with parents will depress you for sure, so just take it how it comes and try not to focus on this much. Its your first baby so njoy the moments. Post pregnancy harmonal changes n drepressing thoughts are much more after delivery, give a close look on that. Good luck n safe delivery.