Disgusting Married Life

It's too much. Your parents had to support you.
Why r u living like this??

 

Why are u living with such a evil person. ur daughters ll be very much affected if you stay with him .. and why are your parents not supporting you . Please save all the messages , recorded audio etc which you have in a safe place . have in in gmail account etc . file a complaint and come out of marriage . definitely you will get custody of your children . If your income wont be enough , take a house and share it with some other single woman and share the rent . Also if you need extra money , take some tuitions , art class , hindi class etc ( depending on what talent you have ) .. or you can do some service like tailoring etc . Please be bold and believe that you can manage everything . Please seek help of your parents too . And share your problems with your friend too . Please do come out of this stupid relationship . I had once come out of a abusive relationship and came out of it . The day you come out of this relationship , you will feel v relaxed and things ll definitely fall in place. Please dont let your daughters suffer in this kind of environment . please do come out and live happily. i ll pray for u

 

As everyone is suggesting plan plan plan that is the key to have a safe abuse free life. Read the below and see how she planned. I am not an emotional person but reading her experience bought me to tears and how she got out of her abusive marriage is an inspiration
I was forced to marry a stranger when I was 16. Ten years later, I made my escape

 

Dear OP

You are in a very bad situation. First of all, you need to stand up for yourself and be independent.
India or USA is not a problem here. How much independent you are to take care of yourself and the kids without depending on others (be it husband or brother) is what matters.

Thankfully you are educated. You have a job in hand.
If that doesn't pay enough, then find a better job. If possible, look for a part time job in addition to your regular job.
Even if the second job can be a menial job, just go ahead with it. All you need is some financial independence to survive.

Plan your future in advance. Don't utter anything to anyone before you make the right decision.
1) For now, you must go to the HR, and give a new bank AC details for your salaries to be credited from next month onwards. If you don't have a new bank Ac, then please open a new one immediately.

2) Look for part time jobs through your networks, social media or randomly. If you sincerely search for it, chances are high that you can find a suitable one. It doesn't have to be a permanent one. Just to survive these heavy tides for now. You can always change or leave your part time job depending on your future needs.
But it is important that you need enough money to live independently with 2 kids.

3) Look for a lawyer. Get some legal advice in this regard.
Mostly the lawyers will advice you to document all these important details to submit them in court later.
For ex: If your H physically abused you, then go to a doctor, keep those medical records as evidence
If possible record his abusive conversations in phone. If there are any whatsapp msg etc, then save them.
If your ex Co-sis has anything to say, then take her advice too.

4) Make up your mind. This is utmost important.
What do you want now? Do you wanna live with this abusive man?Do you feel secured and happy?
Do you think your kids would be happy and peaceful looking at their momma in tears?
Do you think you can survive a long life in this circumstance? What if something bad happens to you? Do you think your H will be a great dad to his kids?
Even if he is a great dad, he can continue to support his children after divorce. That will lessen your burden.
If not, accept the fact that he is not a great dad. Period.
Because, you are not making any actions against his abuse, fearing divorce. But I feel divorce is the only escape in your case.

5) Consult the lawyer about child custody. That's the major part here.
If you have any evidence to prove that your H isn't a good dad, then think about it. Not even in your dreams, don't say that he is a good dad. He isn't.

6) Get in touch with emergency shelters, women's protection unit etc in any case

7) Start planning to move out of your home asap. Obviously your man will learn all your moves, and start abusing you to stop you. That time, you can call 911 or any hotline for protection. After which, you are safe.

8) Don't bother about your H's blackmails and threats like killing your family. If so, record them all.
Besides, inform your family about all these threats.

9) Don't wait for your bro's approval to make any decision that suits your life. You are not gonna be living with him. Be it India or US, start finding a place for yourself to live independently. Even if that is a rental home.
And don't bother about your society. They will eventually forget about you and move on with some other hot topics.

10) The battle may be very tough. But once the divorce is granted, you will be getting support from your H like kid's support, alimony, etc which can help you to survive in the future

 

Hi

Since your brother's family is there in India, you should definitely return to India.
Definitely you can get some job back here. You can support your kids on your own in India .

Initially take some monetary help from your brother and any other close friends and set up your home in India. Return it later.

You need security now. India is the best place for you and your kids. You MIL is supporting your husband's act, the worst thing. You have to act fast.

You will be able to sail through this situation. But you need to act.

Good luck

 

The moment you leave to India, you are saving your abusive husband from domestic violence case. Don’t make this as a normal divorce thing like your sil. You gotta report him and his mother to police right away and tell them you are threatened. If you have slight bruises...Call 911 NOW. You should tell physical abuses and financial abuses by husband and your mil also encouraged him. Don’t leave India without calling 911.

 

Just call them: Get Help - The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
There is no waiting queue, this number will direct you to an advocate.
This is domestic abuse helpline, they will guide you how to collect evidence. Just call them and calls are confidential with them. Do you have bruises in body? Just take pictures. If he breaks things in home, just take pictures. CALL THIS HELPLINE ASAP. Tell them you are concerned about your kid's future. You can give a great future to your kids, do not worry. Try to save yourself from this hell first.

 

don't leave to india without filing a complaint here.

Once you reach some help here, initially it may be difficult to deal with he stuff but you will be in safe place later.
There is no way your kids will be taken away from you.Those are all empty threats.Your husband will see a hell if you file a complaint here.
He also has to support kids financially.Your life will get harder in India.First, try to look for solutions here and go bravely.

 

Since ur parents r not helping u, stay in USA.
Call 911 next time he hits you. That will scare him .

 

Op, What is your immigration status? Your husband is pure evil and he is covering all tracks by threatening you. Right now if you are working means you have work permit.Is the work permit based on green card or H4EAD or EAD from GC application. If you have GC then you are in safe mode. Next time your hubby hits you call the cops asap. Your poor girls are still young and they can be moulded to better people then seeing evil dad in action regularly.

Let me give you my background . I too went thru an abusive marriage in the past. I was on H4 then. I called the cops one day after an altercation and took Temporary Protection Order for 6 months until hubby completes Anger Management Classes mandated by court.After that I have laid down some ground rules for marriage and taken hubby back. Hubby knows if need be i will separate . Sometimes it does come to extremes like all marriages but we survive that.I can give you more details if you need to know.

First off your husband cant do anything what he says he can. Look for Shelters nearby to where you live. Call them and know the details about what happens after you call the cops. Next stop , if you call the cops, the court gives you a court mandated lawyer. You don't have to pay anything. Ask the lawyer all the things you need to know like what happens if you divorce. Most of the states here have community property guidelines for divorce marriage. That means if you divorce, the higher paid spouse gives you monthly alimony and you get child support too becoz you being mother get automatic custody. In case your hubby fights it so he doesn't have to pay you, you need to tell everything in court that your kids are traumatized by his actions.

Take care of yourself and your kids . Post here for any help you need. We may be able to help you out almost to everything possible. Good Luck.