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Does Marriage Gets Better With Time ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shama146, Dec 23, 2017.

  1. chandu999

    chandu999 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear All,

    There is no time frame to get understanding between wife and Husband. It is in them how fast they loose their EGO's and starts giving respect each others interests and values then there is no fight between them.

    Even though, we may be post graduates and working in MNC's at higher positions. But, think some times there is a chance to commit mistake from your side and other partner might be correct. Listen to him for a while, once the environment gets settle then you start explaining him why you felt that is correct and what is the negatives you found in other persons choice. But, don't go for argument mode try to be in love mood only.

    Remember one thing, your self respect or ego or individuality are not so important than your married life. If you feel you are getting happy married life, better leave everything.
     
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  2. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Golden Words !!:thumbup:
     
  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Chandu Ji, you should totally write a book about how a good Indian wife and DIL should behave . So, make husband the king and MIL the head and let the wife be in the dumpster with her self respect and individuality . Only then will veeru bi khush, veeru ki Amma bhi khush and basanti will be eating grass with dhanno the horse !Alas, It would all work perfect if God hadn’t been so unfair and given us women brains . Unfortunately for you ,we like to ride dhanno with a whip not eat grass with her. Most women are super proud of their self respect , their identity .


     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 27, 2017
  4. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    As you understand your partner over time n bond / relationship gets built, I believe a relationship does get better by time, but only if both the parties realizes their differences n put in the effort equally to have a "happy" relationship.

    Or in cases of where one partner wants a slave rather than an equal partner, over time one learns to accept n adjust. This can mean either
    - listening to the more dominating partner n just going with their words
    - Or just doing whatever they want n not caring or ignoring their tantrums.

    In some cases, relationships gets worser over time as well, like it begins with controlling, fighting, then escalates to abusing, hitting, tortures, etc. It also applies to escalated levels of mental abuse, like from starting to say no to basically controlling every moment or movement of their partner.

    So does a relationship get better over time ? It completely depends on the couple involved n what both wants out of this relationship.
     
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  5. chandu999

    chandu999 Senior IL'ite

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    I am not saying anything supporting to husband or a MIL. My intention is to have a happy married life that's all.

    I didn't understand, what is the point of having self respect, Individuality and success in career after loosing your happy married life.

    If you are success, Individual and Self respect, all people will clap at you but, there is no family to celebrate your success.

    I never say, Husband has to dominate and wife to be dumb, but, I am saying don't get spoil the married life just because of small small things.

    I truly feel, and follow, self respect, Ego, Individuality are the words to be found in Dictionary but, not in married life among family members.

    Please excuse, if my words hurts any body here.
     
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  6. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hugs to you ! Since leaving is not an option, isn’t silence better than having arguments ? I assume counseling, talking to families has already happened.? I know of someone that decided to stay in a unhappy marriage and leads her life the way she pleases with no communication with the husband for years. It’s not a happy place to be in but atleast there are no arguments etc.
    Human beings adjust to whatever tough situations they are presented with. Some leave/ force things to change and others accept it. With time ,the lack of communication will stop bothering you as much as it does now.

    Life is too precious to be unhappy, so can you focus all your energy on the kids and something else ( religion, hobbies, work, friends) that will give you some happiness atleast.

    But do try counseling if you haven’t .Please take care !

     
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  7. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    How come you say those are golden words? So woman doesn't need self respect and individuality? You are thinking that for the sake of married life she should be like slave... Weird
     
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  8. chandu999

    chandu999 Senior IL'ite

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    Bro..I am not saying anything based on my own experiences...I am saying based on many women inner feelings after facing the critical situations in the life without partner and without family.

    At the age of 25 to 35 ...there is nothing wrong in the thoughts....but, after that, once they reach their 40's, Once the loneliness starts in their life...they will realize the value of family and partner. It is not only for women...it is equally for men also.

    I am not only saying to women to leave individuality, ego, and self respect....i am saying to both the partners....

    by the way...women may have the life after 45-50 but, for men without wife no life .....even son also won't look at father. Because no DIL is ready to care for FIL. They are ready to leave your son but, they con't compromise in their stand.

    Request you not to take my suggestions only for women...its for both the partners in a family to lead a happy family.

    It is difficult to clap with one hand.
     
  9. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Well said.

    Because love, mutual respect with the partner , affection and mutual adjustment, leads to fortification of the overall relationship.

    Compromise and Adjustment doesn't mean giving up one's self respect.

    I appreciate the point
     
  10. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    I feel you have not got the point here at all. If there is no self respect, Individuality and success in career etc, many thinking women like us do not call it ' happy married life'
     

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