Career Choices - Which One To Choose?

Hello friends...

Though this thread is about my career choices, I deliberately posted it here to understand your view points from relationships perspective.

Due to some discomforts arising in my current work place, I had to look for better options elsewhere, as I knew I could be fired anytime from here.
I do not have a strong hold in this work place, as I have taken up a low level post here for a temporary basis some 2 yrs back. I made this tough decision to change my job because I could not balance my original career (a good post with 10+ years of experience) and family life that time.
Since day 1, I had issues in this work place, mainly due to my over qualifications and my supervisor's insecurity about that.

Now that I knew he could do anything for his survival, which might push me into trouble. So, continuing here for the sake of it won't work on a long run. At the same time, I am not afford to stay at home, coz our family needs dual income to balance our status.
Besides, I knew my family isn't that vulnerable as before; hence I could focus a bit on my career now, than later.
It is also advisable to resume my career (the original one) at the earliest, given the job recession issues, competions and other factors.
So, I applied to several posts that suits my profile in the same professional range as I used to be.
Thankfully I was selected for 2 good posts, after several rounds of tests, assessments and interviews.

1) This one is a national post, but in a different city. So, I am expected to stay outside of the home during week days in a PG accommodation.
This requires me to hire a full time nanny, and a maid/cook during day time to compensate my absence.
This also makes me to depend on my mom and MIL fully or partially for the care of my kids, which they happily contribute.
Besides, there will be loads of travel expenses as I would come back and forth during weekends, as well added personal expenses for me since I will stay alone.
Apart from the expenses, I am concerned about the HR/Admin handling of this office.
Although it is an international, US based firm, the regional office in Delhi handles everything, which is utterly unprofessional according to me.
Perhaps, I am used to international standards as I have always worked with French, American or western officers who handle things more diplomatically and professionally. Thus these things seem red flags, I don't know
To name a few....
- I faced a couple of interviews, and awaited for their notification of selection. Nothing came, but after a few days, their HR asked me to send personal details like passport copy etc.
- All of a sudden their program advicer called my mobile and asked me to visit him in a start hotel, which was too confusing
- I inquired from both whether I am selected or not. They did not give me any clear response.
- I met him at the hotel with my husband, and understood that he was facilitating a training there. He seemed very decent, and we spoke about program in detail. It was kind of in-person interview for me.
- Then HR asked me about the contacts of my current boss, and then I heard they were checking with my referees.
- Time to time, this adviser will whatsapp me about the developments like, we are making your maid ID, we are making your ID card, I am carrying your laptop (from India) etc... But no official confirmation about my selection.
Therefore I wasn't able to resign my present post, though I wanted to get out of this mess as early as possible.
- Now that, this adviser whatsapp'ed me stating "don't worry, you are on board, and you are starting from Dec 1st, and you can sign the contract anytime in Dec"
That too, after I have asked several questions about this.

The company is great with a high reputation and great HR policy in other countries where they work, but this is their first time in Sri Lanka.
As of now, everything will be handled by their Delhi office, but once the required staff on board, I think it will change. I think these issues are all about the staff's personality and nothing about the office's policy. But not sure.

2) This one is an international post in an African country. The duty station would be somewhere very remote if I am not lucky. But mostly they will post me in a decent city. Since I am into humanitatian/Human rights field, I can't expect to work in a developed city all the time.
I have work experience in that country, hence I know what to expect.
I have couple of my Sri Lankan and Nepalese friends working there, so I am sure that I can enjoy a decent social life there.
But I will be allowed to visit home once in 2.5 months only. Each time, I will get 1500$ for the travel, as well 10 days break. I can include my annual leaves and other holidays to make my home stay longer (max 3 weeks).
Salary wise, this international post offer me a great package compare to the local one.
Also, there will be minimum expenses in that country, as the office covers most of it.. including accommodation, and meals.
It is a non family station, so i can't take my kids along.
But this office communication is very clear, that they have informed almost everything in advance and I have the offer letter in hand already. They expect me to start from Jan 17th.

When it comes to missing family, I feel both are more or less same. Because this national post expects me to work during Saturdays as well. So, visiting home for 1 day (sunday) after travelling 4 hrs one day during each weekend is pointless. But at the same time, I am in the same country, and reachable to them within 5 hrs in case of any emergency.
Also, I get to see them weekly.

But when it comes to other expenses like nanny, traveling etc... It will be same.
So, I will barely have no savings if I opt the first post. Which makes me stay away from family forever to work and work (as there is no opportunity in our city, and we have no plans to move either).

But If I opt the second one, I will be missing home terribly, so are my family for the 2.5 months stay. But I get nearly 3 weeks each time to spend uninterrupted quality time with them.
This way, I can save a lumpsum in 1 or 2 years, and that would enable me to quit work for sometimes or take up low paying jobs again to be with family when they need me the most.

I believe it is high time as my mom and MIL are healthy and my kids are young, yet old enough to understand/manage without me.
After a few years, MIL and mom would become too old, and kids would need me as they grow teens.

Also, I can't ignore the fact that we need savings, as my H is not dependable in our case.

What to do?

 

Thank you both for your prompt response. Much appreciated.

It was true that I was upset a bit about the negligence of Delhi team, but that is absolutely not the deciding factor in my case. I amactor hopeful that I can change and control this project in my capacity as the manager very soon.

My worry is....
1) There is no option to work in my home city. Considering the type of profession I am in, I can't expect any job here.
2) I may opt for a lower paying job, with a smaller capacity as I did earlier. But that proved as a very bad choice in my case. It took me nearly 2 years to bounce back. I learned a tough lesson this time.
3) I can not change my career path, that too after spending nearly 10+ years of progressive experience in my preferred field.
During these times, I have worked so hard to reach here. I can't peacefully let everything go. Besides, I can't view my career only as an income source. It is also my passion.
4) I can't stay away from my family forever. Either I will have to take my family to the place where I work - which no one prefers, as my home city has all the luxuries and facilities than that place. If not, visiting them just 1 day per week would be pointless.
5) Option #2 gives me 3 weeks break once in every 2.5 months. This means, I can spend uninterrupted time with my family for 3 weeks every other month. For me, this is a lot compared to just 1 day per week.
6) Option #1 pays a decent salary though. But sadly I am expected to hire 3-4 persons to work in my home (nanny, maid, cook, driver) to compensate my absence at home. They are very expensive here. Hence I will have to lose at least 30% of my good salary for this. In addition to this, I will have to spend for my accommodation and travelling.
Which leaves very less savings, despite of the fact that I stay away from my family for work.
7) Everyone concerned advises me to take option #1, since that should be the perfect choice for a married woman.
8) But I think, they do not pay attention to the fact that I get frequent breaks in option #2. It is something hard for someone from a different field to understand how things work in my career... But it is for real that my office pays for my tickets every 2.5 months to spend quality time with my family.

THE ABOVE POINTERS COBFUSE ME

I know both options makes serious impact in my relationship with H and kids. But I am preparing them for the better.
I have no option other than to chose one of these two. Because my H will never gonna be the primary bread winner, and there is no point on waiting for him to be responsible now. My kids are growing, and we have growing needs to maintain our status to life better.
If I chose to stay home, I may not be physically well later to take such risky options when need arises.