Not Able To Adjust To Married Life

May be it is funny for you. You can always use this a bar joke with your friends. I don't care.

It worked for me and my family is very very happy. My dh is very happy with life. he does what men like to do for fun. like play sports, hang out with friends and also is very happy spend date nights with me and family

so i do not really care about your opinion about how i handled my life.

 

Good points . Nice to know that it worked for you. Many times patience helps a lot. I agree in one thing. First few years both should try to understand each other. Their interests/likes/likes, love language etc. As long as we dont have to compromise beyond our self respect (if no abuse is involved) level it work wonders. In many cases, couples fight for reason which are not even clear to them. These issue can be solved by giving enough space to each of them, by love , respect and by accepting the person for what she/he is. Proper adjustment is the key to successful marriage.

 

@poi098,

Please stop crying alone. You need courage to handle any new relationship. Probably, you feel you are in a new home of your in-laws/husband needing attention from your husband to establish yourself. You can actually establish yourself well and draw his attention by doing so.

It is too soon to come to that conclusion.

Take his word for now and give some more time to find out whether he is right. If you don't believe and later it is known as truth, you will internally feel bad about yourself.

I don't believe it is a problem with you and it is not clear whether it is a problem with your husband either. Only time will tell.

Everything you said here is positive. Have you expressed them to your husband and in-laws? Like you feel lonely in a new home, they are also figuring out what would make you feel comfortable and settle down quickly. All you need is patience to figure out how to build the relationship with your husband, the way you both like. Keep finding out what your husband likes to discuss in a conversation and be sympathetic to his career development concerns. Please be open about your career opportunities as well. Over a period of time, everything will be fine. Before meeting the needs of each other (including attention), you both need to understand each other well.

It is too soon to come to any conclusion. Having discussed it once and as your husband knows how you feel, leave it for now and move on how you can contribute for the well-being of this marriage. Good luck.

Viswa

 

Hello dear,

I have similar problem just like yours. My husband is travelling 4 hours in a day up and down to office. He never got any interest in intimacy and I cried myself to sleep too many times too. I thought he should be tired of work and travel in weekdays.

Weekends also no different. I confronted him couple of times. But no use. He tried to blame me for fighting with him often is the reason for that. But there are days when we don't fight speak happily for hours. He just wants to put blame on me so he took fights as reason.

Finally after 7 months of marriage he took me honeymoon, which didn't turn out well as well. He fell sick whole week. But he still blames me for him not having any interest on intimacy.

I learned to ignore now. Don't cry to sleep anymore. Your husband atleast don't blame you and tell work pressure as reason.

Also if you are with in-laws as joint family, your husband might find it uncomfortable to be intimate with you even in bedroom afraid of people hearing from next room. Just a guess.

I think this was the case with my husband, so he saved it for honeymoon which didn't go well either. So I'm planning for our second honeymoon when he comes back home

FYI he booked a romantic suite for our stay, but everything was in vain Only then I understood he had interest but he was waiting for the right moment. But when we women confront them for no interest, men put blame on us and escape.

You guys plan for long vacation. Things will change for sure. Good luck

 

Your guy maybe dull and boring. Many are!

Many Indian guys take wife for granted and feel secure in marriage. They don't understand that they have to nurture the relationship. You can take some initiative to keep it interesting from your end.

If you can not live with a boring guy, you should consider exiting the marriage. I don't think they suddenly become super cool. Surely, you may be able to try to get some spice into your life. See what makes him tick. Surely there must be something(s).

Don't expect/assume that it's his job to shower you wit attn, presents or pampering. You may need to train the guy slowly or adjust if you want to nurture what you have.

 

Its not all a problem with you..your expectations are valid. Take time to understand and improve things. In the limited time you have with him plan to give the best. Do things of his interest. Try cooking food he likes. Check if you both can plan for a trip. Open up yourself when time comes. Assure him that you will be there for him during all times. Basically, give good time for things to work out. ALB!