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Do your ILs do the same thing?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by iamsrihere, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. adimad

    adimad Silver IL'ite

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    Very good advice !!

     
  2. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Good question!

    I never even thought that I need to feel guilty for going out with my DH. So initially I used to be very normal while coming back , talk to them. But the responses will only be one worded. I thought maybe she is not feeling good or something. Then I noticed it happens every time after we come back . Like if we go specifically to some place for sight seeing or restaurant this happens or to a place they have never been to. But if we go to market / super market to get house hold things, she will behave very normally.

    And after I used to notice this behavior , I asked my husband if he too noticed. He was like it is not just with you she doesn't talk even with me. True there is pin drop silence, but if she has to ask something about how the place was, or which restaurant we went, or what ewe ate , it will be directed to my DH and not to me. For close to 2-3 hours she will not have any talks with me. Seeing this Now, I started behaving the same way, I too don't talk to them unless they initiate a conversation. Something that hurts me is, whenever they go out somewhere , I used to ask them about it,at least showed interest in knowing about that. But they give a cold reaction.

    Thinking about this, I just felt that she is reminding me that she is the 'MIL' and Iam the DIL. Anyway my inlaws don't go to the extreme of stopping us from going out or creating dramas after we come back. They (specifically MIL) gives a cold reaction for which I have now grown a thick skin.
     
  3. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Seriously??? No kids?? Why did she get her son married then?
     
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  4. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    For going to doctor's place, when she is sick, she herself calls me to accompany her. Even today I went with her to take scan. Those times, when she wants to crib / vent about her health or give her suggestions, she wants me, but at times wherein she realizes that Iam having a good time that she can not / could not earlier, she gives a cold reaction.

    Anyway I think this is how all MILs are created.

    LIKE THEY SAY A MOTHER IS BORN WHEN HER BABY IS BORN, A MOTHER -IN -LAW IS BORN WHEN HER BABY GETS MARRIED.:bonk
     
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  5. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    :roflmao:
     
  6. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    Great thread. How the Indian female suffers.

    I wonder how the ancient Indians managed.
     
  7. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Mine get upset for everything n anything. Fil always taunts even wen we say want to go out just do shopping n nothing else.. but wen he comes to my house then it's ok to be late wen we take them out n dining or even shopping..it's all fine but if we go then it's all wrong..
     
  8. bluerainbow

    bluerainbow Gold IL'ite

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    Mine stops talking if we go anywhere.....even if I visit my parent's house I will be given silent treatment for some days. I used to feel so disturbed earlier, now I simply don;t care. Just get on with my work as if they don't exist in the house.
     
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  9. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    Feel like ghar ghar ki kahani. In the initial days I myself used to call them to go everywhere. I don't remember we going alone for the first 1 year!! (other than the honeymoon ;) ) . Let it be movies, outings, functions anything they will be with us and trust me I didn't even know how to react !! I felt it is very normal!

    Now we are in US and they came here to visit us. When we said we are going for a walk, They got so irritated and either/or FIL and MIL will join us . Otherwise MIL say " no you(DIL) have to stay back , some work in kitchen or something she will bring up". We said everything can wait for 30 minutes. We just leave and don't ask for permission. when we are back ,they will taunt us keep on asking 1 yr old dd where did she go without grand parents!!(we are in the same community just taking a round) .

    I was expecting all these dramas with my past experience. I behave normally and get on with kitchen work & dd.Keep some nice songs. We can't change them , We can only change how much importance we give to them. They don't realize they are loosing the respect and love with such silly behaviors. May be they deserve only that much!!
     
  10. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    The sad part of the story is even if we take them out for dinner, shows and trips at least once they will make a comment "our BIL & SIL must have done this but they are short of money else they can't eat this food" bla bla !!( its a pure lie, My SIL told me openly she won't take care of parents and they know the reality but that's how it is.!! )

    Pyar kiya to problem!! Pyar nahi kiya to tab bi problem !! It is hard but it is how it is. We are tired of discussing them about these matters . Now we are learning to ignore!!
     
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