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Adoption

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, May 19, 2017.

  1. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Best wishes to u for ur journey of motherhood soon.
     
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  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Thankyou for your lovely feedack dear. All the best to become a mother . Glad you favour adoption.
     
  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    I second your thoughts Viswa dear. My friend's daughter has also adopted a girl child though she has her own child.
     
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  4. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    I second your thoughs Jayakka . True that mils compare the adopted child with other children and make them feel low. The adopted child should be bold enough to face the situation.
     
  5. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    just curious ...what r ur thoughts on those who dont want children BY CHOICE ...there is nothing wrong in NOT HAVING CHILD ...this age old metality of indians needs to be changed..as if having a child can automatically make ur life a heaven. there r several studies in uk and usa where theyve found that people who dont hv kids r more happy than those with kids . but i know that it will be very hard to digest for indians ..
    here is the CNN article ..so nobody shd think that people with no children r sad /miserable ...many times they r far far happier and free than those with children. i m not taking any sides ..i m just showing another aspect or perspective of people

    Are people without kids happier? New studies offer mixed picture - CNN
     
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  6. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    Well i am not against parenting!!
    Reproduction is natural phenomena, for whatever reasons, when the persistence towards a fruitful conception loses its lustre, i do not see any reason to lose hope on life. India is a country where females have been insulted, discriminated, compared, tortured for not being child bearing, though no one gets to the root of the problem.

    Towards this,technology has its profound influence in providing just a hope for the childless couples. Lot of things being worked out against the law of nature and we are in age where we talk about cloning, replicating the genetic strands with the help of Stem cells, which can give a new life altogether. The more we grow in this direction the more we lose out on the basics. Technologies like IVF, and its variants, help a few, but nothing can replace a mothers womb when it comes to the formation of zygote.

    Adoption is another option to consider. But think even after raising the adopted child as your own, the society is so influential that the child can understand that he has been just raised and not from the real originators.

    I rather believe, keeping yourselves occupied by contributing to welfare organizations by rendering various services, not only through money but also helping a child by sharing the wisdom, make him one among us, with love, compassion,

    That child will remember that even if you visit him once a week, rather than a child of your own blood or the one adopted, who is always with you but you still feel the distance not being so close with you.

    I am a childless father for close to 9 years now, my wife and myself both have problems.
    Some how my wife's problem was cured over time she had small ovaries and PCOS. I have asthenozoospermia, underwent a surgery to correct due to varicocele (varicocelectomy) but did not help.

    IVF did not support us. I personally do not like the donor system, as we are all destined to live our lives as per our deeds, so i refrained from this culture.

    I am happy to be sharing my views and spending time with the needy kids. Imparting the knowledge is the biggest favor i can do to lil ones, who need direction and if given through fullest dedication, love and affection, you bestow so many souls with the divine powers and boost their own powers of survival:)
     
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  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes,there are couples who don't want either to beget children of their own or to adopt.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong.It is individual desire.My friend has three daughters.All of them got married only on condition that they should not be forced to either to become biological mothers or adoptee mothers.They say that in this country of increasing population, it is their little share of service to contribute to reduction in population.

    It is true. But if all the couples, just imagine, do not wish to beget children, what will be the position of the nation.Already with increasing medical advancement, longevity is on the increase.If there is no next generation, within next 30 years there will be only oldies above 60 ,no one to work hard and develop the nation.
    Children are assets to the nation.Their active brains are the real wealth.
    When there were no family planning methods, each couple had four or five children.After 1960, that problem is over.To beget a child or not is individual freedom.
    But personally, I feel that freedom should be coupled with some service to the nation.Either you can add to the wealth by begetting children or adopt the needy children, bring them up and transform them into real wealth.
    Viji, sorry for the interference .
    Dear friendabc,
    Sorry for my intermediary response.This was my advice to the daughters of my friends also.Two of them never agreed to what I said.The third daughter has written to me of her desire to adopt a girl or even twins, if available.

    jayasala 42
     
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  8. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    i m also not against parenting ...and i just love kids ...but i dont see the needs to have so called "own" children for myself ...but i m not agnst those who want kids either ..but the problem is that many indians sort of mentally torture those who dont want kids ...i donno whats there freaking problem is ..there r 120 orphans in india but these so called "children loving" people never ever want to give hope to such poor little souls ...already we r bloody overpopulated but they insist on everyone reproducing..
     
  9. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    ur fear is totally unnecessary. according to statistics ..the one and only thing which INDIA can never run out of is PEOPLE ...LOL....we r freaking 120 billion.and more people never ever equals to happiness/prosperity...USA IS 4 times bigger and it has 1/4th population of india but they r well off than india which is overburdened by population .
    i do agree that adoption is better option than just having kids for the sake of it. but one dsnt need to bring up children to serve the nation.... going by ur logic MR NARENDRA MODI is not serving the nation by not having kids...lol...(just a funny example, on a lighter note)
    what we need is less children and more trees.. (btw ur other fear that "what if all couples dont hv children "will be IMPOSSIBLE IN INDIA ...LOL..trust me here people give birth to 6 7 8 9 daughters just because they want a GHAR KA CHIRAG BOY ...this is the condition and mindset of people ..so even if all people stop having kids ..it will take at least 200 years to make india underpopulated ...lol
    peace n love
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2017
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  10. luckysangeetha

    luckysangeetha Gold IL'ite

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    Hi viji mam,

    Personally i dont believe in adoption and i go to various temples and do service there. because its my personal experience that we dont have children yet for the past 9years now and its because of my problem which is very rare disorder and i have got menopause at the age of 15years itself and my husband knew this before and accepted and he said no to IVF nor adoption and we have accepted personally if nature and god decision is so we are ready to accept afterall the creator knows what is wrong and right for us and he is ultimate father of all and at the end of the day we are only biological parents to the individual but its ultimately a soul and we are giving a body and sharing Love.
    May be some would have benefited with IVF and adoption and nothing wrong but there will be always a small question inside for a female because its against nature we are doing at the end of the day.again its my opnion and i respect others decision .
     

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