Group Talk

I think you are an introvert. Only an introvert would face this dilemma.

The key is to avoid group situations altogether and interact with your close friends on a one-to-one basis.

I am very unsuccessful in groups myself.

I am interested in deep conversation and that can only happen when two people are talking, not three or more.

In India, it is very difficult to avoid group situations because Indians love groups.

So find a few close friends who can understand you and whom you are comfortable with, preferably people who are introverts themselves and spend time with them.

Introverts need a lot of time on their own to relax and recharge.

Too many people at the same time can be quite taxing on us.

At least you had the wisdom to keep quiet in groups.

I am so foolish that I used to get over-stimulated and over-talkative to compensate for my discomfort.

But yes, in India, if you are too quiet, people shall finish you off very quickly.

If you find you cannot be yourself even in one-on-one interactions then it may be time to find new friends.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

Umang.

 

Some of us are not good at indulging in small talk, specially when it involves big groups . Maybe practice before hand about some safe topics. It's not too bad being quiet , better than saying something inappropriate . I am normally pretty quiet in groups myself. There is nothing wrong if you are not talkative , you can be a good listener . Imagine the cacophony if everyone spoke too much !

 

OP, I can pretty much relate to this experience. I am also an introvert. Feel very lonely and bored in a group. Being a very honest and straightforward person (☺that's what I believe) I speak my mind out without modifying it for others . That's when these kind of problem arose and people misunderstood our intention.
So select a group where you are accepted as the way you are. In such situation you don't have to worry about what others think.. be with these selected few.
Else, always think well before you talk and modify it carefully or be a listener with a smiling face.. needs lot of effort from our side. Often people may find us very boring if we are very quiet all the time..
Honestly, I find even this very uncomfortable.. accept yourself the way you are, modifying it too much may affect your confidence..slowly make efforts..

 

And here I was, thinking that I was the only person who felt like an outsider with friends. The older I get, the more difficult it is for me to create new friendships. And even maintaining friendships have become increasingly difficult. I like people, but I really value my personal time. I wonder if online forums end up being the safe place for introverts to get the social stimulus they (we) need, without getting overwhelmed.

 

You took the words right out of my mouth. Are you sure we don't know each other?

I have been sharing this article endlessly, but I should like to share it with you. Have a read, I think it shall speak to you.

 

I think there is quite an army of us, hiding away from people.