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Problem With A Lady In My Neighbourhood

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by mysonmyworld, Jun 7, 2017.

  1. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Really nice solution. Yes being open is good. I am happy to see ur sense of courageousness. I need to learn a lot.
     
  2. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    This is good advice. Listen to it, OP. All the children deserve to play together. The loud ones and the quiet ones.
     
  3. NeerjaC

    NeerjaC Silver IL'ite

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    Maybe it's time to stop avoiding this family and confront the situation head on. The kid may have heard his mother talking about your son and may have picked up on the tension and is now playing out because it gets him attention. You'll be surprised at how much the kids pick up just from being around adults.
    Don't stop your son from joining the other kids, just tell him to stay away from this one boy. If you see the boy going to complain to his mother, then you can confront and say,
    "I've asked my son not to play with your son since he gets upset easily and I don't want him to be intimidated by my son", this may seem forthright but you need to be firm in your message. Nip this problem in the bud before she turns everyone against your son.
    As for the articles she sends on Whatsapp, perhaps it's time you found some articles and shared them with her as well!
     
    Sandycandy and sindmani like this.
  4. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    It is absolutely wrong to punish your son by keeping him inside, or stop him from playing with his other friends because he is getting bullied. This is like teaching him to be scared of the bullies and hide. And if it happens again somewhere, say in a sports class, quit that and find another one ??? Keep running forever?? Bullies will keep bullying as long as they can find their victims. The best you can teach your son as a mom is not to be a victim.

    Since your son is the only other boy, maybe that lil boy is comparing and feeling competitive n jealous about him. And after the first few fights, he would have heard his family talking bad your son, which in turn would have fuelled this lil boy to complain more and more. Maybe also because he feels validated and heard when he talks about your son to his family. "A common enemy can bring people together" concept.

    The "bathtub" statement puts her beyond the crazy category so just ask your son to keep away from that boy and his family, and not his other friends. If you can go everyday to the playground during his play time, that will be really good, atleast for a while till this calms down.

    If they have such a big problem with your kid, they should be the one who should find other friends. Not let that boy keep coming to your son and complain hes not answering or calling to the pool. "He is not talking to him, remember". If they ever say anything again, ask them to keep him away and find him suitable friends and stop harassing a child, god is watching. ;)

    Regarding whatsapp, you too send some parental advises, statements or articles that relates to this issue but silently pointing fingers at her kind. Be subtle but on point. Because if you keep quiet, she will use that against you stating that you are guilty thus being quiet. Dont let her turn others against you.

    Do try to talk to them face to face and sort this issue. If they sill act immature, tell them strictly to keep away from you and your son. Bring out the inner mama bear and growl away!!! And show that you mean business too. Make them stop harassing your lil boy.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Where are you located?By the way,Your neighbor is a nutcase.Please refrain from sending your kid to their house as much as possible.If possible,talk to them
    Without blaming her kid and how sending such articles is no good.If they want something,let them come and talk to you personally.Even otherwise distance from these people
     
    Sandycandy likes this.
  6. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, this is a tough situation. She has no right to broadcast to all directly or subtly, that she thinks your kid is a bully. Do you have any good friends in that WhatsApp group? Maybe someone you can talk to about this? They can then stand up for you in the group.

    We faced a similar situation a couple of years ago in our son's school, where a particular parent (who hated my kid for no reason, based on the biased opinion of his own kid) used to attack him on the group. Thankfully, a couple of other parents stood up for us and told the offending parent firmly about the inappropriateness of his behavior. When he noticed that there were people in the group who did not approve of his acts, he stopped doing that.
     
    Sandycandy likes this.
  7. Deepti2016

    Deepti2016 New IL'ite

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    I am assuming your child is in 1st std right now based on his age that you mentioned. Generally, kids outgrow this type of behavior by the time they are in 2nd or 3rd standard, mainly because they need to devote more time to studies and HW from school. This family is not going to go away unless you or the other family shifts homes, so there will be some continued contact even then.

    My suggestions are:
    1. Is there is a good ground or club activity that you can send him to instead? He could learn to play a focused sport and also train physically better under the care of a good instructor at such a facility.

    2. Never let your kid alone near the swimming pool, not with this type of antagonism from the other kid with lying issues/false issues. If you're too busy to watch your kid, endure his long face but keep him safe first.

    3. Involve your kid in a light discussion from time to time so he can voice his feelings to you.

    Explain to him why you are changing his play from society kids to ground/sports club so that he does not feel like you are the ones beating a cowardly retreat. Not only does he live exposed to this negativity day to day currently from the kid and his family, he may also get the sense of being alone/unsupported by you in a low moment.

    4. As regards whatsapp, stay on but ignore the Poisonous Lady. Send soothing, positive and interesting msgs and posts of your own, or stay silent in a calm way, so that the other members start liking you. Counter complaints and arguments will only pull you down. Stopping the group will make you lose out on other important info from that group.

    Remember: Noisy kids are generally not well liked because most parents see them as a threat of some undefined nature. See if you can teach your child to be calmer, see if there are yoga classes in your neighborhood. All of these will only strengthen him mentally and physically, esp. if he can understand the shift from playing with the society kids to doing more such activities.

    Basically, you will need to explain to your child it is better to keep away from people who are silly/bad (you choose the correct title, based on what he and you are both perceiving this family). YOur kid needs to know you've got his back and that you can fix this.
     
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I would have sent some whatsapp messages about adults bullying children.
    Or that people who dream about drowning others kids should not be giving moral lectures on child care.
     
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  9. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    Why dont you search the internet for articles related to such a lady and post back to back?? :) n see the fun silently
     
    Sandycandy likes this.
  10. nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, Your son's friend seems to be a sensitive child. I think your son's words may have deeply hurt him, specially, if several children are telling him they don't want to play with him. These things may seem silly to adults, but can affect kids deeply. I would not call it silly, since he is getting hurt by this behaviour from other kids.

    The mom seems like a bully. She has no business being mean to a little child. You along with your husband should have met her, demanded to know why she sent him back, and stated bluntly that you will not tolerate such behaviour from her, and won't send him to play at her home any more.

    Next time she sends those WhatsApp forwards, reply asking - Is this meant for a particular person, or just your thoughts in general? Inform other parents about every thing she is doing against your son, and get them to question this weird behaviour as well. She won't acknowledge it is directed towards your son, it will make her seem petty and foolish. I think she will stop soon.
     

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