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What Happens When You Are Not Well?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SadMarried, Jul 1, 2017.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    vow what a vivid thinking SGBV ! op please reread it again and again till you see sense..I understand how difficult it is to take care of a infant along with a toddler with no support..how could you be a happy mom and raise positive children if you dont accept the fact that he doesnt care for you? That pain which stinks us deep inside each time when we see those heavenly marriages and happy couples would make us gloomy forever..We have to wake up now and help ourselves in case we need to die without regrets..so consider marriage as just a part of your life and move forward.. Dont ever buy all those theories stating men are wired that way! utter non sense it is..If he can care for his foo, he care very well care for you as well..This is plain inconsideration and lack of empathy towards you..Change it op..My tightest hugs to you and your wonderful children..look into their eyes and feel that unconditional love which no one would ever give you..Good day:)
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Why should such men care when women are always ready to make excuses for their pathetic behavior.

    Men are like this only.
    Husbands are like this only.
    Indian husbands are like this only.

    No ,it is not true,only pathetic husbands are like this.
    If a husband can worry about his mother ,sisters and daughters,he can worry about the wife too.

    If he doesn't care about sick mother,sisters or daughters ,he will be called out as a bad son,brother or father.
    But when he doesn't care about hos wife,there is the big excuse. Indian men are like this only.

    Giving birth to his children should make your bond as strong as blood bond .If he still doesn't care,he is not being a man or an Indian husband,he is being an *$$h***.
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Do people not feel better if someone cares about them?
    What is the use of being family if people don't care for each other during sickness or discomfort?
    These days people can live an independent life ,even use donors to make children.What is the need to get married?
     
  4. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    your advice is appreciated as always.
    I did try what you suggested. Hence his one sister has big chunk of our money with no talk abt returning. I let him spend freely on his parents, any gifts to his relatives. He never liked me asking him to eat healthy or suggest him to wear something of my liking, so i dont do that anymore. But however loose i left him, whatever i tried to be in his good book, he has just fought with me for something new. His sisters and relatives have started demanding more.They are even more of his priority than before.I wish he was like your husband who changed for good. I'm so tired of trying.

    As other suggested, im not going to expect anything emotional when it comes to my health. I need to live for my kids and i need to be well to do that.
    Rest i dont know what else can i try.
     
  5. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you dear. Yes my 3 year old son keep asking if im well or not, shall he get me some medicine. That melts my heart. I have to learn to live without expectation from so called hubby for these two invaluable gems in my life.
     
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  6. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    Thats so true dear. I feel exactly the same. Now i'm waiting for the day when he feels sick and i can say same to him.But then again i cant as im not cruel as him.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2017
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  7. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    This is not a competition, who can hurt more. Treat him, the way you want to be treated - teach him, how you want to be taken care of, when you need him.

    Only love/attention can sway his attention towards you. Not the revenge.
     
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  8. Upscale

    Upscale New IL'ite

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    I am just saying when somebody doesnt do it let go...
     
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  9. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    I hope you are feeling better now ! Your husband seems to lack compassion , specially when it comes to you . Since you are unwell , you don't need additional stress . So keep your expectations low just for your peace of mind. My best wishes to you and the kid !
     
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  10. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    You are right dear. Tit for tat is not what i want to do, but feels like he needs to realize how it feels when your partner ignores you when you are unwell. I always care for him even for slightest of his wellbeing, i'm caring by nature, i feel restless when i see any of family member unwell, whethers its hubby or kids. He does too for kids, but for me, he is just cold.
     

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