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How To Be Strong When Your Circumstances Make You Weak?

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by morethanruby, Apr 22, 2017.

  1. morethanruby

    morethanruby Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    I would want to know from all of you strong women here .how is it possible for an emotionally weak woman to put a smile on face and swallow that anger as if nothing happened.
    I only heard like circumstances make us strong and we cant try to become strong just like that.
    I'm very emotional inside ,i wanted to be strong and show the world that im no longer available for for a pity party.I read many books ,go thrugh several articles but still somewer at some point of time i fail to be strong.
    Reading books is not helping me.
    As women always have those mood swings how is it still possible to come out strong and unshakable.

    Pls give your valuable advice .
     
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  2. dia3

    dia3 Silver IL'ite

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    Sorry, your definition of strong woman is incorrect--u say they swallow their anger and still keep a smile on their face...no, that's a super weak woman..a strong woman is one who knows the right from wrong n is not willing to compromise on the wrongs done to her....she doesn't swallow her anger for the wrongs done to her but believes in taking the right path such as right legal action !!...that is why, wrong people don't mess with her .
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2017
  3. morethanruby

    morethanruby Senior IL'ite

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    thanks for correcting me Im open to correction always .I would want to hear all opinions .
     
  4. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    @morethanruby-
    Reading books has nothing to do with swallowing the anger and being strong. You are going this the wrong way-

    My 2 cents-
    Try to understand why you are getting angry and what is the reason for the anger, who is causing you to get angry.
    Is there an option for you to communicate to the person/ situation who is the cause for the anger? Are you able to communicate in a manner to explain what the real problem is to the person who is causing you the anger? Do you think the person will understand your situation and maybe try to see from your perspective?

    Do you get angry/ mood swings/ irritability during certain days closer to in and around your period?

    Swallowing anger or bottling your anger isn't a good thing- in long run it come out or more like explode, it may take days/ weeks. Slowly resentment will start to build around the topic/ person/ situation.

    It is better to handle the situation head on rather than swallowing it and smiling.
    It is easier to talk it out, let the anger go, solve the problem and then forget about it.

    Hope this helps.
    Don't stay angry for too long, not good for health.
     
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  5. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    I've noticed that keeping a journal, is a good way to vent out my negative feeling and celebrate things that I really enjoy (since it doesn't really seem like anyone really cares). This way, my voice is heard, at least in writing. Swallowing anger causes serious health problems down the line - knee problems, back problems, etc.

    Strength is not from tolerating the crap, it's from transcending it. The only way I know how is to clear my mind out daily in my journal, and wear a smile and someone (hubby) is taking potshots at me. I never cry in front of him, anymore. It only encourages the bad behavior. Instead, I brush it off, because I KNOW that he's only doing it, because he wants me to feel like I'm less and be more dependent on him.
     
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  6. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    To suffer in silence is not a wonderful thing. To live in an abusive relationship is not a sign of strength. To not speak up and stay silent in toxic family dynamics is a sign of our fear. Our spirit slowly dies but no we shouldn't do anything to rock the boat. Our voice stands crushed but hell no let me not remove myself from this hellish life. Because someone somewhere long ago has filled this thought in our brain that to have a happy, enriching and fulfilling life is less important than to cater to a man who cares nothing much for us.

    Sorry but I hate it when women lose themselves trying to keep toxic relationships alive.
     
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  7. Purple2017

    Purple2017 Silver IL'ite

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    since time immemorial anger is there. Anger generally is born out of 'ego' when each tries to emphasize its point. The correct 'wisdom' is required to get rid of anger. But then it is not so easy. One has to diversify the interests and engage in some other activities for putting a 'ban' on anger. It may be reading some positive inspirational books, poetry, newspapers, listening to film songs/bhajans, connecting to social networking sites, gardening,shopping ,visiting new places, interacting with new people. The main purpose is to dilute the 'anger'. One thing is clear...our liability is limited to our own mind and body. Time is fast going out....Let us not waste our precious time in conflict with others.
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Understand the reasons behind your anger and sadness. Do not give in to any circumstance to steal your happiness and freedom.
    A strong woman will not swallow her sadness and put up a fake smile in her face for the society. It is the act of weakness.
    A strong woman will face the problem, cross all the hurdles to smell the freedom. She will count that as her happiness; hence smile.
    Of course her journey may be tough, hence she may look tired, pained... but she will be definitely happy inside.

    In many instances, the weak women become strong with circumstance. Mostly, it is their independence.
    The independence starts with financial independence in today's world.

    If you are not working, find an employment first.
    Have your own circle of people (friends, colleagues etc) in any case should you need a helping hand outside of your family
    Self dependency is utmost important if you wanna be strong.
     
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  9. queenie29

    queenie29 Silver IL'ite

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    In my opinion, being strong is definitely not easy when you are in bad circumstances, but definitely will help you grow as an individual in terms of how you deal and conduct yourself during that time.

    One thing I learned was to love yourself in any situation and try to be better than what we were yesterday.

    Put aside anger and hatred coz they would for sure ruin your peace of mind - which will result in hurting yourself mentally or physically as well.

    Include some self-care stuff in your daily life like walking/ gym/ aerobics/ yoga/ medication/ listening to music/ dancing,etc. they sure will help in relieving atleast some stress and anger.

    Hope this helpful.

    Be happy! Be kind! and love yourself ! TC
     
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  10. venlax

    venlax Silver IL'ite

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    Hi morethanruby,
    It is betterto express our anger at some circumstances depending on with whom we interact,the matter etc.But anger expressed immediately does not bring good results.The words uttered are never forgotten & it makes the other person more egoistic & aggressive unless they are very soft. They will also remember the ugly words.You should try to get away from that place for sometime,chant some one word manthras mentally like "Om", "Om Shanthi" etc ,.For controlling negative emotions regular Meditation is best Food health also plays a major role.By displaying our anger we give room for others to know which issues can make us angry or moody.Try to be sportive if the issues are not so worthy to get angry.At the same time if there is any weakness in you & pointed by others try to accept in ur mind & not openly at all times. Going to temples also help to control ur mood swings.To err is human ,to forget is divine.Apply this for u & others ,Don't have too much guilty consciousness but try to correct yourself.May god bless you!
     
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