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Very Manipulative And Cunning Bil And His Wife....pissed Off To Handle Them

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Daffodil13, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. Daffodil13

    Daffodil13 Silver IL'ite

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    hmm, yes she has ego problem not only with my mom, with me too...IF she has ego problem with me & my mom who asked her to come and stay here. We have not invited her. If she can come uninvited, then cant she talk..:rage:. Never mind, if she doesnt want to talk and gel , its well & good. But when some elder person is struggling at home to handle all thigs, Cant she think little maturely??

    By the way, now with the options and circumstances i have, I feel keeping quiet for now is only solution for my peace. I will ask my mom to not bother abt her much and ignore . i will ask my H to bring food from outside.
     
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  2. Daffodil13

    Daffodil13 Silver IL'ite

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    Thats true SGBV...You are very correct. I very well know that my MIL will not support me nor understand me for two reasons.

    1. I have no good relationship with my MIL.
    2. SIL is my MIL's own brother daughter so she will support her own family not an outsider ( I am always considered outsider).

    For now, I will keep quiet just to maintain some peace during my pregnancy now becoz now my main focus shud be baby now...

    At the same time..I also want to inform my MIL (maybe sometime later if not now) , how her favorite DIL behaves at our house whether she believes it or not...Otherwise how will she know the true face of my SIL?? All the while she might be thinking that SIL has adjusted very well in my home...She should know that we are not happy with SIL visit and how she behaved ill mannered..At least i should have my freedom to put my point and my disappointment as well na...Another thing is , if i keep quiet my SIL might consider me weak and walk over me going forward thinking that i will not open my mouth and stand for self...She will take me for granted , which i dont want to happen. SIL should understand that if i am not happy, i will not keep quiet and get that addressed...so going forward she will be careful dealing with me...What is your opinion on this? Or is their a better way, to take a stand for myself and show SIL that all her nakhraas wont work infront of me and I know how to show her place..
     
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  3. Daffodil13

    Daffodil13 Silver IL'ite

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    No, you are right. I am so angry and upset with my H on this. He knows my current state (High risk preg) and my mom's state...But even after knowing all this, he is still suggesting us to adjust which is not right way. ..Ideally he shud take lead and talk to his parents abt my disappointment and shud address things..which is not happening in my case..He is afraid that things turn out bad, if his mom supports younger son and DIL over us and make a fuss. He is actually not ready for another brain wash session from his mom...i suppose..

    No, she doesnt entertain my daughter...She goes directly to second bed room and will be on phone either talking or watching something...Sometimes my daughter herself goes there and tries to play with her but she doesn't bother...After waiting for sometime there, my daughter gets hint that she will be not engaged there...with disappointment she comes out and tries to play with my mom..

    No, she doesnt have separete room to her..generally my Mom and sometimes my daughter sleeps there...As my mom doesnt go to room till sleep time...she will be all there whole time till sleep time
     
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  4. Daffodil13

    Daffodil13 Silver IL'ite

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    Rajeni, thanks dear...hmm i dont understand how men take it easy when it is affecting his wife's peace during pregnancy...:(
    Almost every alternate day , i ask my H abt her movement and abt finding on new house..He says they are looking still...I am actually telling my mom from starting not to pamper her or entertain her more as i know my SIL attitude..But my mom feels it is disrespectful to not treat guests properly at home...My mom is little orthodox, very sentimental and mild...so she cannot do anything which can hurt others..she feel herself hurted before she do something of that sort..Even if i tell her to do so, she says how can she do like that...at the same time end of day she comes to me and cribs about her tiredness, that girl actions etc etc... so i am helpless
     
  5. sreemanavaneeth

    sreemanavaneeth Gold IL'ite

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    Take care of you health. Keep quiet donot answer even if they ask you also.
    Just pray GOD surely they will realise their mistakes and GOD will take care of them within a short span of time. You also react with them in the same manner.KEEP QUIET. that itself is a best remedy for your problem immediately
     
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  6. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy.. Have a healthy and safe one.. your first priority is your well-being.. Second is your family.. if your husband is not very supportive with this, try to handle this yourself.. men look for peace of mind when they get back from work. Their brains do not handle the relationship issues in a great way. If your still has a separate room make sure it doesn't happen to be so any further.. tell your daughter to spend more time in that room, she might get agitated and scold your DD.. I know it is not pleasant when someone says anything to our children.. but use this tactic so that dd can go complaining to her dad about how rude this lady is.. dad will understand a daughters perspective better than a wife. Sad it is.. Never ever talk to DH or mil about it. Do what has to be done.. if mil complains to DH, then you can very well defend yourself stating your condition.. DH already knows what you have gone through all these days.. being straight forward will not help while handling ILs.. it will not be being your own self but will have long term benefits..

    Do you think she will buy this story ?

    Does it really matter ? You are here to do your duty.. do it tactfully..
    I might sound a little hard with all that but give it a try.. and never ever loose your temper and be very confident when you happen to talk to sil.. good luck dear..
     
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  7. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy.. Have a healthy and safe one.. your first priority is your well-being.. Second is your family.. if your husband is not very supportive with this, try to handle this yourself.. men look for peace of mind when they get back from work. Their brains do not handle the relationship issues in a great way. If your still has a separate room make sure it doesn't happen to be so any further.. tell your daughter to spend more time in that room, she might get agitated and scold your DD.. I know it is not pleasant when someone says anything to our children.. but use this tactic so that dd can go complaining to her dad about how rude this lady is.. dad will understand a daughters perspective better than a wife. Sad it is.. Never ever talk to DH or mil about it. Do what has to be done.. if mil complains to DH, then you can very well defend yourself stating your condition.. DH already knows what you have gone through all these days.. being straight forward will not help while handling ILs.. it will not be being your own self but will have long term benefits..

    Do you think she will buy this story ?

    Does it really matter ? You are here to do your duty.. do it tactfully..
    I might sound a little hard with all that but give it a try.. and never ever loose your temper and be very confident when you happen to talk to sil.. good luck dear..
     
  8. Daffodil13

    Daffodil13 Silver IL'ite

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    May be you are right dear...From last 2-3 days I am having lot of pain in my vaginal & pelvic area even though i stay on bed whole day...Seems this SIL matter is unnecessary stress to me right now..

    I am 24 weeks now and want a healthy baby now. That is my high priority at this moment.
     
  9. Daffodil13

    Daffodil13 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Kukudukuu, True I thought myself silly for taking over this SIL issue over my head at this moment. I also felt it is better to leave it unaddressed at this moment. My main priority is my baby now and my health...

    My daughter goes to interact with her and play with her , but SIL will be completely on phone with full time head set plugged in..So my daughter feels bored and comes out..There is no chance that SIL gets irritated with my daughter as she will neither look or hear to my daughter..
     
  10. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear,

    I read your other thread about your pregnancy. Yes, please stop thinking about any human on earth. You and your baby are the ones who matter the most now.
    Good luck to you, and also my prayers for you to have a full term and happy,healthy baby thereafter.
     
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