Working Women Supporting Parents

Dear girl, your hubby and inlaws are acting selfish. We girls have to maintain the money sent to parents as secret . You shouldnt have opened this to your husband. Tell you what in these days especially women like us with huge paycheck are treated as ducks that lay golden eggs. You must be intelligent about money. For some reason family is an entity and it got to come first. You cant give all the money to your parents as well as hubby. Our children need to come first else they dont feel protected and cared. For instance lets consider you earn 100 rs and you spend 70 rs on your living expenses bills food cloths and house emi. From the remaining 30 percent, You got to save 15 for yourself and 10 for your child. You can give 3 to your parents for a month or put that aside and give them once in 6 mknths. 1 rs for your sis occasionally b day same 1 rs for hubby for birthday wedding day . Your 1rs could be few thousands or few hundreds. Trust me thats what you can afford . Dont give money to inlaws they get from you but it would hurt them to give 1rs back in terms of gift to you and your child. indian in laws think their son is their property and his money is theirs.dil is unpaid maid servant. Same on husbands they like all our earnings but if we want something like gold jewellery they wont feel like buying it for us and come up with 1000 s of justifications. But they will blow that money on cars and sis wedding etc . We got to understand the fact that indian system of marriage is patriarchal double standard and at this moment we cant change it. We got to bringup our kids against this double standard system. indian family system is not yet matured enough to act and accept Honest and straightforward behaviour. Dont speak to your hubby on money and asking your parents. Wait for him to get back yo you. If he does just brush it off.

 

I agree with everyone else that its just selfishness using 'tradition' as a shield.
Eff that!
Even if the wife is not earning , she should still be able to help her parents in time of need.

If the logic is that its the husband's money if he us earning it , then the SAHW should not have to take care of the husband's parents when they are in need - because its her time and effort?

 

As long as it is your hard earned money, you are free to do anything with it. If your husband seeks your permission before transferring money to his parent's or sister's accounts or spending money on them, you will have to do that too. But in your case, it looks like he doesnt think it is important to take your approval. (Please correct me if I am wrong.) You too have every right to do whatever you want to with your earnings.

 

Dear OP
As all others suggested here, you really must be able to help your parents. You are an independent, professional women earning well, and it should not be anyone's problem to check or even approve what you are doing with your money as long as it is not in going to any wrong means.

And I completely agree with Megha that even if the girl is not earning she should be able to help her parents when in need.

It is high time that the society accepts that when a girl is expected to accept all the members of the Husbands family with open arms including their financial responsibilities, the same is applicable to the boy too.