Contemplating Suicide

Swathi, Please please please do not even think of taking this step.

Giving you lecture at this stage would not make any sense to you right now, so with little words, I hope to make changes in your mindset.

First think: When we leave this world, we do not take anything materialistic..all the money, debts, home, properties, everything is left here. So there is no point taking your life because of financial situations. You set high ambitions, and if they are not fulfilled you think of taking your extremely precious life?

Secondly, Please trust me, whoever has cheated your father or your hubby will be taken care of by God. He has ways and means to take care of such people.

PLease help youself come out of this negative mode, you have a solid reason to live your life..you have a daughter, you work and earn...Doesnt your daughters smile make you happy? she has every right to enjoy and see this beautiful world in the company love and care of her BOTH parents.....I agree money can bring happiness but I would also say that without money also people are happy.....There are so many people who are living in lower middle class and even very poor but happy in Life's littlest of things.....
first rain after summer, walking in breezy monsoon rain, small things like smell of soil, nature, or even good humanity...bring happiness.....

There are tons of people who have turned around their destiny..who just persisted on in difficult situations and for sure, good days will come...

Instead of thinking something really bad, please think of how to improve the situation...my friends aunt and uncle are the perfect parents, they are the BEST, they have given every happiness to their kids, uncle was clerk and aunty homemaker, they struggled a lot to give their kids best education- one son is MBA from top notch, second son was genius engineer, third daughter highly educated and happily married. At their old age when they spent alllll their life struggling crazily, thinking 100 times spending even a rupee on themselves..they are struck with a slap by destiny- one of the son turned out to be gay (not to offend anyone but as a traditional indian parent, it is very very hard to take it), second son has mental illness (genetic), daughter is otherwise happy but is dealing with childrens health issues...so in a way no one is happy...They must have had dreams that after giving perfect childhood to their kids, they will give them all normal comforts of life in their old age...they will enjoy with grandkids etc.....but instead they have to spend their retirement pension money on sons treatment, taking care of home expenses, the gay son doesn't care about them he is busy in his friends, and daughter sometimes take care of them morally and emotionally...do you think they should do suicide? I met her few months back, and she is bravely fighting, not letting a negative thing come in her mind....she was actually happy and giving me mental support when I was telling her about my problems, she was happy to tell me small positive step their son has shown in the treatment and telling me that you should pray and trust god......

I think you should do the following:

1. Clean your home, YES, remove all the clutter
2. Make a routine of praying and lighting a diya in front of God every morning without fail. Start Mahamrityunjay mantra (108 times) followed by Hanuman Chalisa....put it on loud music so that all negative energies are out of the house....
3. Write on paper - what are the positive things in your life...you dont have to give harvard or stellar education to your daughter- give her good teachings, a normal school and give her all the happiness you can within your means

4. Since finances give you lot of stress- dont think about it, just follow ONE rule for next few months- Be persistent and save....
Think why your hubby is not able to work....can he do any other work like take tuitions, do some odd jobs to get money in home to clear debts....Think on HOW TO IMPROVE the situation constructively and dont go into destruction mode...everytime these thoughts come, start Hanuman Chalisa....

please do respons how you are feeling, it is very hard to be in peace if someone around you is thinking of doing a grave mistake that can be avoided..just because you are not in the right frame of mind...

HUGS

 

Swathi,
Let's unpack your contemplations - slowly, and as concretely as possible. I will try to write in short posts. I hope you will read them and reflect on what I am trying to say.

You seem to be setting up a mutually reinforcing negative cycle with your husband. The first thing to do is to break this. Thoughts affect mood and a depressive mood generates more negative thoughts in a negative feedback loop. Put a stop to it. We can discuss the 'how' later. For the moment, you simply need to recognize this.

You need to understand male psychology! When a man says something like this to his wife, he is NOT making a statement of fact. What he is really doing is asking you, his wife, "Do you think I am a failure?". This is not the time to cry. What he wants to hear is you telling him "No sweetheart you're always my hero! We'll get over this. There's nothing to be sorry about. All I need is you. I've still got my job, let's see about finding you another one" and so on. All he wants to know is that you don't think any less of him. Make that clear first!

More later.

 

OP,
Would really like to know if you are fine

 

Dear Swathi
Please respond.
Please tell us that you three are hale and hearty.
Just say..Hello to all your sisters in IL...
PLEASE

 

Hello,

Please rethink your decision............suicide is not a solution to any problem...........

Even in my life I have been fighting all the way.......

I struggled in college as i was ostracised from the college due to some misunderstanding about me.........I got a job and the company has been doing illegal activity.........I am trying to change my line of activity but failing to get different job.............

I did not get married till 29 and I was frustrated praying and doing pooja to get married..........now I am praying for a child.......It has always been a fight in my life...........Even I think ending my life will solve problems at times.........

But as far as I know in all religions there is this concept of spirit which is unsatisfied and loiters around after people forcefully end their life with suicide..........It is not heaven if you die unnaturally.......I know it....

Please remain calm......God has tremendous confidence in us that we will face challenges with courage and fight back..........Do not lose confidence in yourself.......

Try cutting down expenses........doing part time job.......some means of finance to help u out of the situation..........but do not loose confidence..........

 

good to c u back - a grt relief indeed.

ur thinking hat is on - sure u will recover soon.

 

hugs to you dear...I knew you are a strong woman ...you will fight back.all the best

 

BIG HUG Dear
May God bless you...
You're a fighter..not a loser
Please don't feel sorry for your post..we all have ups n downs in our lives. We are and should be there for each other...if not physically then at least emotionally.
A person ceases to be a human being if he/she doesn't help fellow human beings.
Lfe is so precious...sweetheart. Please handle it with care.

 

Dear Swathi,

Let me tell you story of my colleague who was in similar scenario until last month. His husband got fired from one of the IT company and it was his second company from where he got fired. They were like what should be next..wife works in one of the BPO and loaned to my company for administrative work..salary is around 18-19k. They also have many loans and higher rent however no kids. she was very much depressed but finally after 8 month of struggle her husband found a good job (manager position with 40% of hike). Just think if they had done suicide what was out put..nothing...

I would suggest you to be strong and support your DH. He needs your support. This is the bad time when everyone face some day in their life. Try to reach out your/his contacts if they can forward his resume. IF he is ok, atleast for time being he can start tution or so , can take freelancing work etc. This is how my colleague survived and finally her DH got job through one of my collegue (he just forwarded resume to company). Dont hesitate to change location as well.

Is your DH in IT..what is his skill set?