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Stay At Home Vs Day Care

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by sugnav, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. sugnav

    sugnav Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,
    My DD is 1year old.I was working till my baby was born and currently on long leave.I wish to go back to work now, but I m still having a dilemma about putting my child in day care.we live abroad and daycare is the only option we have.

    Please share your experiences with putting your child in daycare. What do you think is the right age for children to go to daycare.

    Looking forward for your responses.....
     
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  2. Meet9

    Meet9 Silver IL'ite

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    Are you in US?
    If you dont plan to work, it is BEST to avoid daycare as long as possible, possibly until 2.5 to 3 yrs, (just my opinion), because I feel they catch a lot of germs in daycare, the first year lots of ear infections in US daycares, some have hospital visits as well...all that is unnecessary....kids learn a lot at home from mom and around you if you have friends & neighbours kids, get involved in social circle.....winters are harsh for toddlers to be in home but still manageable if you have some social circle..
     
  3. sugnav

    sugnav Senior IL'ite

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    Hi @Meet9 .... thanks for sharing your thoughts
    We live in Australia....
    As of now there is no financial need for me to work....but I miss having a career...i m also not very comfortable putting my child in day care......hence confused
     
  4. deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    I dont personally like leaving the kid in Day Care.... It is better if your kid stay with you till it completes 3 years.... After that you can check for your career options
     
  5. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    Hi OP,

    I am mother of 2 (6 years and 2 year) and both my kids went to daycare at the age of 10 month. Elder one started her daycare in USA and younger one in India. Till now I never regretted my decision to send them in daycare. Like everything, there is always pros and cons. So,as per my opinion here is pros and cons -

    PROS -

    1. Since I sent them in young age, they adjusted very well within a week. Both took around 1 week. When my elder one started school, she was more independent, social and happy as compared to her peer. Even she was excited to go to school.
    2. My both kids are very active and had a good growth, started speaking at the age of 1.5 years. I have couple of kids in society in the age of my younger one and no one is independent/speak like her. Reason for this is, kids learn from other kids.

    3. My kids can adjust in any school/place now. so no school crying session now for me :). My both kids love their daycare.

    4. I have my career on track.

    The only cons I had for them is frequent flu/cold. but one of doctor in USA told me this is the time to develop immunity level of kids. And now my elder one has got good immunity and do not fell sick often like her friends.

    My suggestion while looking for daycare - please inspect daycare properly. Interview their teachers/care take specially about cleaning. As of now I had changed 3 day care for my elder one due to location change and always inspected kitchen in bathroom without any fail.
     
  6. viki123

    viki123 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi OP,
    I agree with @Priya4oct , my kid is 21/2 and has been to daycare since he was 1. I never regret that decision, he si very independent, social, adjusts well and well behaved in public place compared other kids that are at home of his age.
    The only issue is frequent cold/cought, but with good care and diet that will build their immunity. First 1 year was tough now he is doing better.
     
  7. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    Not my personal experience but I can share what has been working for a close colleague and a friend of mine.
    she tried a combination of a day care, at home live in nanny and work from home.

    When her baby was younger, upto 1.5 years, she had hired a live in nanny from her town. Nanny was a little older and never worked in outside country. so until her nanny settled down, my friend worked from home regularly and helped the nanny with the ways of living in a new country.

    after that, she got her kid in part time day care mainly for social environment. Her live- in nanny was still there for about 6 months. So when her kid was trying to adjust to day care, he also had his familiar nanny at home. Transition was relatively smoother. Her nanny would cook for baby and keep up with his daily routine quite well.

    In between my friend downsized her role to more like a 9-5 job and no travel on weekdays. she is still at the same career level but has lessor travel demands in a smaller company. she did mention that her pay got reduced about 30% but the company has better work life balance and family benefits. It took her time to find it and her workplace is closer to a good day care. She visits him frequently during the day. He did have some adjusting period in the day care but health-wise he is growing like a normal kid would. He misses day care on weekends so she has to keep her weekends active for him.
     
  8. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    It was tough for me to find a daycare I approved of for my son, but I saw the benefits for him to see and interact with other children, so I enrolled him in a mother's day out program (which is a part-time 5- hour a day playschool type of place), to help him adjust. He started at 18 month, which I felt was an appropriate age for this type of environment. He is now 22 months and I plan to start him in a professional Montessori school (with uniforms and structured lesson plans) at 2 years old. I would put him there now, but I just started working and my mom is willing to help out for the month. He is still attending his mother's day out program and his immunity is still being tested in this controlled environment.

    I think it is very important to consider your child's development and readiness before starting work, because it is quite a big change for the little ones. At 1, he was not ready to leave me, and it became difficult each time I left him with my in-laws for shopping or something. At around, 16 months, he handled the separation better, but once he went to the MDO, he became VERY needy for the first month. I am now gone for the whole day, and he is doing well without me, but he still has one-on-one attention from my mom.

    As they get older, children do require a different type of care compared to when they were infants. I think it is best to stay with them as long as you can, until you feel like they could get a better quality of stimulation and care elsewhere.

    Also, check the standards at the Daycares, because some of them are quite clean and children get sick less often than others.
     
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  9. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, Both of my kids went to daycare when they were around ~9/10 months. In US you will be see babies as young as one and half months at the day care (mostly due to less than two months of maternity leave). I checked reviews of many day cares available and visited them, talked to their teachers before deciding the one. I gave lot of preference to cleanliness of the daycare (frequency of changing crib sheets, frequency of cleaning rooms toys etc...). They also allowed me to visit or bf in between if I want to (I did it initially but stopped later when I found my babies are doing ok). I was so happy that I got the right one with preschool facility. My kids were very happy there.

    Initially I was sad that I had no option than this one. It took me two weeks to adjust to the reality. The teachers assured me that they are doing fine. They give me a slip every evening with the details on what they eat/drink, how much & when, time of diaper changes, cloth changes, nap time and all the details needed. That helped me a lot. Daycare help you to create a schedule. If you follow their schedule it will be easy to manage them. The day care made my kids potty training sessions easy for me. I agree with @Priya4oct that this daycare helped my kids to adjust with different environments faster than others. I think kids adjust faster with the daycare if they join them at younger age. Around 1-1.5 years they will have more separation anxiety

    Some daycare provide the live of each class room though their website. So the parents can login and watch what their kid is doing even when they are at work. Hiring a nanny may be an option if any family member is at home, but I feel daycare is safer than nannies if no one is there.

    Yes, they can get infection in the first two years . Once they complete their vaccination schedules in 2 yrs they will be Ok. It also help them to develop immunity. I have seen more episodes of severe infection with stay home kids than my kids in long run.

    I didn't have anyone except dh to help with the kids. Day care helped me to save my career and manage my home and everything easy (!!). It helped me to schedule 24 hour/day in a very fruitful way. As I was less tired I could spend more time with kids effectively every evening.

    If we have many people around, staying at home with kids may be a good option. Otherwise It will be a lot of work. I know many stay home moms with no time for anything. If someone has the luxury of staying home with kids for more years, that may also work, with some extra efforts. I didn't have that option as I was supposed to return to job after maternity leave. So I dont regret my decision as I think I did the best I can.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2017
    viki123 and sugnav like this.

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