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Sil Dad Mocks Me

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by athma, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    Sil dad s distantly related?? My mil is saying different from u. I used to have the same thought as u said. But sil mil created fight and asked me to give invitation to her daughter though they live jointly with mom by saying if you don't give it means u r separating family. U r doing this even when m alive then wat u ll do after m gone. I was convinced tht she had a point. then I said sorry and gave invitation.
    M so confused ..
     
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  2. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    No need to agree or disagree. its not debate and no need to be so emotional. I need information from many. that's it. I value rational thinking than emotional. hope urs s not one among the emotional. I close the discussion with you on this issue.
     
  3. suasin

    suasin Gold IL'ite

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    @ym, sometimes people living in the same house might not be considered to be same 'family'..I insist my invite be sent to my ILs as my MIL would be the one attending on my behalf and not my mom..,while i agree giving invitation to op or her H is one and the same, op's mom can invite on her son's/ dil's behalf.. Am not sure if inviting on her dils parents' behalf is the custom..

    OP, dont give too much importance to who invited whom how much.. We are two daughters n arnd my sis' marriage my father had bypass surgery.. So, my H, my cousins, my aunt, pils, all ran arnd inviting ppl..if you feel your 'respect' is compromised, show up accordingly..
    Some ppl think they are quickwitted.. For eg, 'teasing' is quite the done thing in our community.. But my H is not used to it.. Initially my uncles, cousins used to pull his leg...,H had a 'cant comprehend' face n it stopped..
    But, if you can, give it back with a smile, its a lot of fun... I'd have said, 'aunty had worse things to say' or something..
     
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  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Your parents did not invite your husband's sister separately; but conveyed the invitation via your MIL.
    This has become an ego problem to your husband's sister; hence she staged a drama.
    Now tell me, who was at fault here?
    Your parents??? You?? Or that egoistic SIL?
    Obviously it is her fault.

    Similarly your brother's wife and her parents did not invite you directly but conveyed the invitation via your MIL.
    You objected by copying your SIL. They however reciprocated and gave the invitation to your husband formally.
    That is how it works generally.
    Yet, you still find faults and condemn their way of invitation.
    You think as if it is your birth right to abuse SILs.

    If your bro's wife is abusive or cold give it back to her directly.
    But think about the relationship and the compromises needed.
    If your husband's sister is abusive, deal with her directly without spoiling your marriage.
    Don't compare both or copy any of them either.

    If your SILs dad is sarcastic or mocking you, face him.

    Don't complicate
     
  5. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    @suasin thx for understanding the main problem and gave suggestions
    @SGBV .. thx for the last point 'don't copy either'.. this s the main point I wanted to say in original post. Think how would i be when both Sil show their egoistic side towards me and abused when I show niceties.
    Thing is I never knew the customs coz we don't have close relatives much. Then I copied. So abusive right (both sides) s not the correct word. Copying is the correct word. And to clear my facts in ur post, they did not invite my mil or me. And dint convey to my mom too for me. Totally i was neglected. From these posts I came to know inviting sil is not necessary.

    Face my sil dad means how should I. He s elder to me. This s my main post. Few said to keep distance. Few said to give witty reply with smile. I try to do both.
    Thx all for suggesting ur views.
     
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  6. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    M closing this thread. Thx all for ur ideas and suggestions.
     

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