Marriage Messes Up Good Friendship?

it depends on couples....ours was arranged marriage....we are very good friends....sometimes i feel that there is no marriage between us.apart from being parents of our kids, we are just friends with benefits ....

 

I do the same - change bulbs, change batteries of the smoke detectors, take the car for service. Clean the snow, mow the lawn etc and my husband does the cooking, cleaning, laundry, do the dishes. In our house we don't have gender stereo typed roles, you know what I mean? getting things done is the priority rather than waiting for husband to do something since he is the man and vice-versa.

 

It depends. Personally we are still good friends

 

I think equality is key in any good relationship. True friendship can't exist without it. When the equality continues in marriage, all is well. Unfortunately, this is tested in desi life from the moment shaadi is mentioned. The power struggle between the in-laws often leads to inequality between the spouses, killing the original friendship.

Equality includes the right to choose desired role and relationship and who gets the popcorn.

 

Joined at the hips

 

That odd "something is missing", or "messed up" kind of feeling without the ability to point to what it is, can happen to married (and even not-so married) people. I have heard that this happens more to women than men. < Nope... don't jump to monthly cycles etc..>. When growing older, kids, in-law relationships, managing the future, all come together, something has to yield, no ? If a well married woman can ask her former good-friend-and-current-hubby what is missing in her life, and he actually contrives an answer to that question, there are two possibilities: 1. Their friendship did not get messed up in marrying each other .... Or... (2) he is really strange.

 

If you ask me, I'd say friendship is an important part of marriage. There needs to be solid friendship between husband and wife for the marriage to thrive. I can't understand how marriages can be meaningful without friendship between spouses. Friendship is what pulls the marriage steady beyond the initial honeymoon phase.

If marriage messes up good friendship then probably there wasn't any good friendship to begin with.

 

Marriage is an economic partnership as well with shared economic interests let alone exclusive commitments. Friendship is voluntary, selfless and giving and forgiving, IMO.