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Sil Dad Mocks Me

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by athma, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    And @yellowmango thx for advising me to be mature even when they show faces. :).. seriously you are so kind and nice. I tried to be nice for many years with no luck. Hence this post :)
     
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  2. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    @yellowmango and don't confuse with the situations. her dad mock s different situation which I asked for advice. and sil mocked me s different situation. And as u said I dealt with her directly.
     
  3. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    Thing is I was so nice naive and gullible whohas no experiencein handling relationship issues. I was like doormat. I felt somethingis wrong. But couldn't figureout wat and how. then big issues started I was all alone handling. Then came to know being nice has different varieties :)
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    OP....In the long run ,sil's father is not even a part of your life.You can just ignore him and not interact with him.
    See ...they used to send the message to your mil,now they come home and you feel mocked. Why invite people home if you feel they don't respect you?

    Also ,your husband's sister is a rude person....don't follow what she is doing ,otherwise you will be no better than her.

    Why waste precious energy on other people...specially if they don't live with you.Concentrate on your life .Be the heroine of your life and work towards being happy with husband and kids.Everyone else is a side actor and not that important .
    Best Wishes.
     
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  5. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    No @yellowmango .. hope m not clear. My family (mom and dad) used to tell my mil about function. Sil(h sister) and his H son live with mil. So my mom used to convey to mil. Sil started fighting y she didn't get separate invitation and though mom gave to her after fighy she dint come. She didn't let my h also attend.
    Now another sil (brother wife) came home to give their family invitation and did this (all things I said above).
    So finally I didn't get respect and mocked.
    Hope its clear
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...I hope you realise that your sil(husband's sister) was wrong.She has a big ego and is a drama queen. Your mom is an elder and she conveying to your mil was enough.It was your sil's (husband's sister ) ego that made her act like that .There was nothing disrespectful about what your mom was doing.She(husband's sister) is a trouble maker.

    If you also decide to act like your husband's sister...then your bhabhi will also feel the same way about you.
     
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  7. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    even my brother wife is disrespectful towards me. M not acting in the same way as H sister. my basic rights of going to mom house should not be hindered. Even before my marriage, bro wife used to mock me like sit on my washed clothes. Using my clothes to clean kitchen. Does not even respond to anyone. Make faces if I ask her politely. I used to order special foods and accessories for her. She was so aggressive on me and mom and brother. Only after I stood on my ground (firm and bold) she stopped doing it . She wanted to cut me off from my brother and mom.
    And giving invitation for her brother marriage s important thing. She never used to invite us to any of her family functions. so I dealt with it properly.
    Here my important question was deviated. Its her dad who mocked me while giving invitation. how to tackle him. Tell me
    P.s acting like H sister means not fighting and screaming like her. it means I got tht even sil families needs to be invited for dil brother marriage. Earlier I used to go to functions even if it s not told to me.
    So now question is how to tackle bro wife dad.
     
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Her brothers marriage is her parents function. It is for them to decide who they invite and how to invite.
    I am sorry,you are also just acting like an entitled sil in this case.Just because your brother is married to some one does not mean you get to dictate her and her family.
    You did not deal with it properly ....you dealt with it disrespectfully.

    If your sil behaved badly and you stood up for yourself...then good.You should not take bad behavior from anyone.

    But expecting her family to behave the way you want is entitlement. They get to decide who they invite and how they invite. You do not have a say in it. Specially if you don't have good relations.

    You don't have to do any thing.He is not a part of your immediate family .He is distantly related to you by your brothers marriage.If you don't expect him to come to your house to invite you....you will not have a reason to meet him.

    We can agree to disagree on this.No need to continue this discussion.I wish you well.
     
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  9. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    So u say after hearing wat she did to me everything was fine and act like doormat? M sorry but have to say u r so biased just coz I used the word "command".
    And so so judgemental based on words I used instead of situations I mentioned.
    If I have used pathetic words about myself u would have asked me to stand up for myself to same sil.
    I don't want to create any drama here. I read the instructions before posting in IL.
    I came here to vent and get support truly speaking. Don't say entitlement dictate etc etc .. not worth it.
    I take it as ur opinion. thats it.
     
  10. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    Ok so ur opinion is inviting to husband sister family is not needed and nottht much important. Fine I got a new information. Till now i was convinced to think that to make family united long lasting u should invite everyone in the family(after siblings marriage) by going their home. Otherwise mom ll be unhappy that family got split.
    Now I came to know its not liketht fromur opinion.
    I valueur opinion.thanks for suggestions @yellowmango
     

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