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So, How Were You Judged On Your Parenting Choices?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Rakhii, Dec 30, 2016.

  1. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    @peartree, two questions
    1. If you had a wand why would you use it on your child? shouldnt you be using it on the lady?
    2. Wat race :)
     
  2. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    You have a 16yr old who can organise her own party, invites her parents, and it goes well enough for you. And you call that kind of parenting as "decent"
    I am not going to tell you about my kids :imp:
     
  3. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    A happy mom means less nagging, more hugging. If that makes you a bad mom, then bad moms rock!

    A colleague of mine goes for a 5-10 day vacation with friends every year, she has 3 kids age 5 to 12 . And i keep wondering where did I go wrong? Why didnt i make my kids independent enough to do that? Actually that makes me a dumb mom.

    I go to the gym after office/weekends for 5-6 hrs per week and for late night walks with DH, no trace of guilt. I feel it is important to have our own time and to let our kids know that.
     
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  4. NoTakeMyCamelYr

    NoTakeMyCamelYr New IL'ite

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    I couldn't give advice honestly but I get that all the time just people like that are rude and they really must seek the minority person to yell at... same same
     
  5. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hey @Rakhii
    I am learning dance now at 28 years. Bharathanatyam has always been my passion.

    Pursuing it after two kids.....now :)
     
  6. Craziyrmom

    Craziyrmom Silver IL'ite

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    I have 2kids aged 4.5 n 2.5 years..
    Scene 1
    My elder DS was 1 year old and on the thinner side, relatives n some frenz asked me if I ever fed him or if I have been eating his food also( cos I was always thin before delivery)
    Scene 2
    My elder DS was 2years old and I just delivered a baby. I was constantly judged for not being careful and not caring about the elder one. As a mom only I knew how I was thinking and doing everything I could do for him till minutes before delivery.
    Scene 3
    My elder DS was 3 years and people tell me that he is not talking well becos I dint concentrate enough on him.

    I wish people really lived my life a minute before judging me!! Also the sad part is that only a mother of the kid is mostly judged and saddest is we women do it often!
     
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  7. Induslady

    Induslady Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @beautifullife30
    If this would motivate you in anyways about your passion, I have a friend who started learning Bharthnatyam in her 30s along with her 6-yr old daughter and they both did arangetram together here in the US last year spending almost 40-50K!

    Rock in your passion!
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2017
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  8. JustAnotherMom

    JustAnotherMom Platinum IL'ite

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    The word "decent" came in coz time to time there is a split personality show runs inside our four walls .:coldsweat::coldsweat::coldsweat:
     
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  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice thread, Rakhii.

    Overall, the world has been kind to me in judging my parenting. Once got a compliment when my 5 yr old waited patiently in a long checkout line. The compliment was from an old white man. Another time, we were in a smallish upscale restaurant, and after completing their meal, my kids (under 7 yrs) started to walk back and forth from entrance to our table. I was about to take them out, and just then the manager came by to our table and said, "We cannot have the kids running around, as it disturbs the other diners." I wish I had been quicker in getting up from the table and taking them out. Just because my kids are done with their meal doesn't mean they can run around to burn energy and spoil other people's dinners, who no doubt have made an effort and plan to dine out in such a restaurant.

    Another time, we were visiting Grand Canyon. My kids (and I too! shame on me!) were tossing pebbles into the Canyon. We didn't know there was a walking trail with no guard rails that winded down and across the Canyon's side. This trail was not visible to us. So the pebbles had the risk of startling walkers on that trail. An old white man (again old white man!) almost yelled at us. I feel it was deserved... sigh... though DH was wondering if skin color played a part in the volume of the yelling. Even after I apologized and we were walking away, I could hear the guy muttering. Given the harm we could have caused, I think it was deserved whatever we got.

    I did get some questions and raised eyebrows when my daughter used to read books that talked about rape, incest and some other dark topics. I used to read the books too, and was confident she could handle it. Her teachers too agreed. But some mommy friends used to look at me like I am fit to be reported to child protection services.
     
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  10. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you Indus Lady!

    It does keep me motivated when I hear things like this. :)
     

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