Confused

@hope77,

I am in US, going through a divorce with 2 kids. Since you wanted to know if someone is in same boat, i thought of sharing few things which may help you to decide.

- I personally prefer to be in US, atleast for now, because of more social issues in India.
- I am living in a place where there are more indians. 70% of whom i thought as friends earlier are not even inviting me to any functions or talking to me. But along with 30% of people who still are in good terms with me, i also got some new friends, though they know what i am going through now. But this does not hurt me anymore as there are lot of other big things for me to worry.
- I dont know whether it would be the best option for you to divorce or not, as i myself never started the process after going through whatever you have posted and more than that and it was he who started it. But i am trying hard to believe - there is a cause for everything and when you cannot change things, accept it.

But in case if you take the route of divorce, in USA - be aware of these things which were quite new to me. Some of these may change based on different state and verify what applies to your state.

- My state has only NO Fault divorce. Either of us cannot blame each other. Whoever asks for divorce would be granted whether the other party agrees or denies.
- Marital property, income and debts would be split equally - In my case i was earning more salary and more duration than him. He already took all my savings and invested in a home in his name in india but he cunningly transferred it to his brother's name a week before i got the divorce notice. Now he claims he dont have any property and he has loans [ i dont know the amount and when and why he bought it] but he claims that i have to share the debts and my marital income. So, there may be cases, depending on your state, that you may to have to pay alimony. Moreover, if he is not working at the time of your divorce, you might end up in paying him spousal support.
- And he may seek child custody equally as well. Whether he gets physical custody or not, he would definitely have visitation rights, and that means you don't have any option of going back to india or to any other state after divorce as the kids need to be here [unless he gives consent on mutual agreement for this] In my state, unless i prove it is not safe for my child to be with him, he can get the custody. Now he is seeking joint custody of the child as he does not have to pay child support.

These may be different in your state but know about these and be prepared before your next step.

May God bless you with peace and strength..

 

hope77, ur husband has crossed all the limits--- he sexts all the time, calls you a prostitute, bugs ur phone, tries to provocate you acting as a guy friend by creating fake profile using facebook, then talks nonsense n accuses u of affair, is an absent father---being father is not just impregnating a woman but being there emotionally and physically all the time with kids, which he hasn't been....in the past also, he lied about job and education at the time of marriage, was jobless for 5 LONG years, n then on top of it blames u all the time....What kind of husband is he?....

he knows no other educated woman is going to tolerate such a man but would have divorced his sorry ass long time back unless she herself had some shortcomings....So, now he is trying to hold on to u n still going on with his sexting and meeting other women.....

do u think he can ever get this lucky that he can make such a big fool out of any other woman....stop him from making a fool out of u anymore...he will never change...a liar and cheater r always liars n cheaters..as other poster said, some women think that after kids their weird husbands wud change but truth is they never change...as far as the kids r concerned, once they get to know all this disgusting behavior of their father, they would start hating him too...

do u think he can ever get this lucky that he can make such a big fool out of any other woman....stop him from making a fool out of u anymore...he is very lucky to get you as a wife who is tolerating all this nonsense for 11 years..its high time, if he doesn't apply for divorce, u do n get rid of all this menace in your life...if your kids r even little bit grown up, show them the real face of ur husband so that they know that u have suffered LONG enough..

 

Hi,
This is the best thing u can do.. put a maintenance case against him and let him pay back without applying for divorce.