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End Of Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sweetum, Oct 15, 2016.

  1. sweetum

    sweetum Senior IL'ite

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    It has been going on ever since we got married. Few days after marriage only, he hit me on my eye. Actually we were in the same college and we were going out with each other. But then too there were lots of ups and downs. He cheated on me through out college and troubled me a lot. For him, I was a retreat maybe. I don't know. But one day he told me in college when he was drunk he went out with me just for sex. I have supported him through out his college days and after college. Then I started getting marriage proposals and I told him that I need to get married. And he told that he will ask for my hand from my mother. I agreed to marry him because I felt it's better to marry somebody I know for long than marry a stranger. And I thought he would change. There are very FEW days that he told me that he loves me or took me out. Now he has stopped telling me that he loves me. It's been ages now. He isn't even attracted to me. Only when he is drunk he would want to be physical with me. Rest all other days he keeps commenting about my body. Like the other day he told me that XXX is better than you, she has bigger bXXbs than you. My eyes are brimming with tears when writing all these. I loved him through out despite his flaws. He hit me through out the marriage. He strangled me, hit me with belt, with shoes, slippers etc, he kicked me, he bit me in anger, he hit me during my pregnancy days, cursed my child when he wasn't yet born. He was having a full on affair when I got pregnant. He did not want our child at all because the baby would have been a hurdle for him I guess. He harassed me daily to abort my child. I did not know what to do and where to go. He would throw me out daily and fight with me when I was pregnant. Then I told myself, for my child, I will bear all his atrocities but I would never abort my child. I spoke daily to my baby. Today infront of everybody he shows off his child - the child that he never wanted to born in the first place. Yesterday when I again saw **** on his phone, I told myself maybe I should give him the divorce. He clearly doesn't like me at all. He has stopped talking to me completely and sleeps in a different room.
     
  2. somsar2014

    somsar2014 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear lady,

    Good morning

    From one thing of your husband that you stated in your post, I feel your husband is a non-person, He thinks you are inferior to him because you earn less than him. This kind of men are really greedy and incapable and do not have any moral spine . Why on earth he will look at wife's money? When he depends on love wife's money, he has no right to criticize her in any way. Because of her earning and working status, such men suffer from inferiority complex and also cannot think of sacrificing the money even for fulfillment of ego. The neat result is, they suffer from all kinds of mental instabilities, jealousy, hate , greed everything and treat their wives like lady colleagues or or other working women.

    When these are weak points, it is for you decide, whether you want to continue the relation or get out of it. In my opinion, your decision will be final, and you will be calling all the shots.

    My observation stands purely on your your narration of the relation. If you think you should continue, your husband will not be factor at all. But in stead of crying do some hissing and that will do the magic for such greedy weak people.
     
  3. sgandiva

    sgandiva Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Please think before you make a decision, especially about your kid's future. Is it not his responsibility to take care of his child ??Is he so stupid that he doesn't even think about his child?? If so, I would suggest move on.. If he can't love his child, he can never love you again! ! And life doesn't end here, Be brave and see your life in your kid.
     
    NeetaR and sweetum like this.
  4. sweetum

    sweetum Senior IL'ite

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    You are right. But I feel that he does love the baby now and is attached to him. His problem is with me.
     
  5. sweetum

    sweetum Senior IL'ite

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    He told me that he ended it because I was pregnant but I saw him chatting with the girl and saw him checking the girl's profile post the break up. They work in the same company. Also right now, I don't know if he is having a new affair because he is a very secretive man.
     
  6. sweetum

    sweetum Senior IL'ite

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    But I feel he was really in love with the girl because he keeps listening to sad love love songs when he is drunk..
     
  7. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    op are you working ?Hows your parents?Have you talked with them about your problems or discuss divorce?will they support you financially and baby sit your child if you leave this guy?
    OP this guy cheated on you.He was not into you even before marriage.You loved him blindly.
    Give it a last try.Go for marriage counselling.This is also I am telling because I dont know his side ,also there is child in picture and he seems to attach to child.Otherwise he hitting you,kicking you even when you were pregnant is just acceptable.There are thin chances of this working out.Its most probably going to fell apart.So side by side start preparing yourself for separation.
     
  8. sweetum

    sweetum Senior IL'ite

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    You are very right he will act as the victim when I file for divorce. Right now his major problem is that I am not earning much and he feels stuck with me because he is not able to move ahead in life because of an unsuccessful wife. The issue is that I don't earn much so I don't know how to sustain myself and baby alone.
     
  9. sweetum

    sweetum Senior IL'ite

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    Yes I am working dear but not earning much. My parents are no more. Nobody knows about my problems except his mother who refuses to interfere or reason his son. Yes I've loved him blindly. I am very sure that he never loved me. After marriage he reaffirmed to me how it is important for him to sleep with different women. You are right that I need to start preparing myself. I don't think he would be willing to go for marriage counselling since he is least interested in this marriage. He is attached to his child. That I know.
     
  10. jeyanthi23

    jeyanthi23 New IL'ite

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    this problem is similar to me. mine is love marriage against my parents permission. we loved for almost 10 years...
    in 2014 he moved to abroad for job.. i couldnt see any changes in his character....but at the same time he is in a relationship with other ----------lady(married with 7yrs old girl her husb left her 6yrs back itself)....in 2015 my family members arranging my marriage at that time i came out from my family and married him with the help of my uncle....
    after so many problems in this 1 and half year that lady trying to separate him from me....he is not caring me and not spending a single second for me. living as a servant in his family... i dont have baby by God's grace.
    no support from any one. i am not working also what should i do? continue or come away from him .my future after that????????????????
     

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