Husband Asking Me To Give Mutual Divorce

Dear OP,
Hugs to you. All our fellow ILs here have given you wonderful advise and tips. Please take early steps to follow them - especially regarding getting in touch with a suitable lawyer. My blood boils to think there are people like your husband roaming around with an outside decent veneer when he is full of poison. Take the help of your colleagues also if possible. There is nothing to hide. Infact it is better he is exposed in the society he lives in. It is easy to say take care of your health in these circumstances, but that is a must! Shall have you in my prayers for a proper solution to your problems. Take care.

 

Hugs to you, sweetheart. You do need help to keep yourself and your child safe from your husband. Have you looked at organisations like Women's aid which could help yout move away from the abuse? You are not on your own. There are charities which help women and kids. They might be the firststep on helping you gain control of the situation. Your husband ought to be reported to the authorities for his behaviour.

 

Look out for charities in your area immediately for assistance. They won't charge you, and trouble you.
Inform your situation to your family, such as parents, siblings, best buddies etc... See whether your colleagues or neighbors can be of help.

First of all, forget about living with this man, and building your marriage with him for the sake of anything. He is dangerous, and his thinking will lead you/and the family nowhere. So, if you have any plan to change this person, or living a peaceful life ever again with this man, please.. I beg you, please change your mind. That's the first step needed here.

The moment you decide to give divorce, things will fall in the right place. I am sure, the moment you prepare yourself for the divorce, you will remember the help-lines from your kith and kins. You will remember the good colleagues, friends and neighbors whom could be of help.
Reach out to them, and don't feel ashamed of requesting any help.

You are pregnant and in the most weakest stage right now. Getting help from others is perfectly all right. You will live a long life; thus you have time to re=pay whatever the help you received.

Secondly find a good lawyer. Discuss all about divorce, child custody etc... See how much you can get from your H for the child care (for both the kids).
See how much info you could share with your lawyer to divide your share from the savings, deposits, investments etc..etc.. that your H/ and you made as a family so far.
These things are more than enough to support to your kids, plus your income and the facilities available in the US. You are already in a better position. So, don't feel bad.
Just treat this time as the most toughest time. If you pass this stage, your life will be more brighter with your angels.
Just kick this man out of your life asap.

 

OP..

I read your post again..from the above highlights, I feel your H is just scaring you. He is clueless about US laws. I doubt if he is ever going to serve you the divorce papers

At this point, think long & hard if this is the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with? It is a very difficult decision to make, but you have to do what is good for you in the end.

 

I was in tears reading this post, may God help you and your little girls.

I am not wise enough to advice you anything but feel happy there are many here helping you out.

I however would suggest you meet or contact the woman support groups mentioned by others here. At least they will help you through the pregnancy, delivery and give you some direction on how to handle such abusive situations. I am sure they will have a counsellor or someone who could provide you care and hear you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and love to both you beautiful, brainy and brave girls. They will show their mom the way . Just follow them coz they are your heart and the path your hearts decide will always be correct for you. Good luck

 

Dear OP,

You are more worried about your girls' alliances when one has at least 20 years to go and the other one is not even born yet! DO you see how way off your priorities are from reality? The world will be a completely different place 20 years from now! Plus, you are in the US. Your community, caste, class, marital status does not decide your standing in society here. Your values, courage, your character does. And besides, what do you really think your children need? "Respect" from so called "society" OR SELF-RESPECT? Will they respect you if the see you being tortured by your H? Do you think they will learn to stand up for themselves? IF (godforbid) they were in your situation, what advice would you give them? Continue in the sham of a marriage or live freely? Think about all this before you take a decision to stay or not stay with him.

There are many people who take care of a child and deliver a second one and they do it all by themselves. It is difficult not impossible. Take a deep breath. You can do this! Gather your wits, take courage and make plans on how you are going to deal with the situation. Focus on yourself, your children. Try talking o your siblings about your problem. They may forget about all the money issues if they realize that you are in deep trouble. After all, you are their blood and flesh. However, a word of caution, be fully prepared if they do not support. DO NOT LET THEM PUSH YOU DOWN ANY FURTHER.

We are strangers who wish the best for you. But you need real support. Real people who know what the law is and what your rights are. Go meet a lawyer. Know what the rules are. I am pretty sure you will gain more confidence once you know you are not alone and you have remedies. YOu are scared now, only because you are overwhelmed with countless fears and uncertainties. Go talk to the lawyer, so atleast you have some clarity. Best Wishes

 

@Lakshmipav......

You need some time now, just buy that time from your H by saying yes to his demand.

Tell him that you are okay for divorce, but ask him to wait till the delivery. This way atleast you will get 4-5 months time to think about your future and can get little bit relief from his harassment as once you say yes, then he may not continue with his torture. Hopefully his thinking may change in these 4 months. If not, after delivery if he again brings the topic, then ask him to transfer some bulk amount for your & kids future and also if you have a own house in US, then ask him to transfer the ownership in your name. Tell him that you will agree for divorce if he meets your demands.

Take care of your health.

 

exactly. It will come into picture when u go to India, for your vacation, any way except your parents, you don't have much to say that somebody is yours, there in India. If you are not going to give importance to others comments they will stop soon commenting.

What your day-to-day life is , in the place where you live and where you earn for a living. There it doesn't matter much, even it matters for any body, you still can live with self-respect.

At least plan to live separately in an apartment for your safety and peace.