Requesting Opinions

Common sense and simple maths tells that if everyone starts having exactly two kids the population will remain constant. But if everyone starts having just one kid the population will become half in next 60-70 yrs, and majority of it will be old!

 

Is that constant 'rate' of growth or constant population in toto? Two very different things with different connotations for civic science.

Japan has problems of ageing populace too. But if a child goes missing over there, they are ready to expend all resources to find that one kid. In our country, so many children get trafficked overnight and the authorities don't bat an eye.

So much for common sense, eh?

 

Less carbon footprint is good for the future.
Some kids enjoy the status of no siblings.

 

are you a single kid?

 

I think this is purely a personal issue. In my opinion having a single kid is kind of risky although many people in India are opting to have a single kid because of the financial problems and the high cost of living, lack of space etc. I think beyond 2 is unnecessary because the older kid starts getting less attention and frankly even the youngest in case of more than 2 won't be having access to enough resources. In my case, we are sister and brother and my brother already complains that he did not get the same treatment as me though the truth is there was a tradeoff, yes, maybe he did not get the same treatment resource wise because after he was born my father lost his job had to set up his own freelance business and the family was put through hardship but other than that considering the overall picture, I feel my brother was more independent, more valued, more loved because being the youngest he was not subjected to rough treatment, being a son he was kind of given a higher priority in certain aspects. There were many days I felt under confident only because I was not given the kind of freedom or positive reinforcement he had. I was somewhat sheltered but I felt restricted. He is a total extrovert while I am an introvert. But having only one kid I think has several cons. One the kid is way too pampered, at least they are treated with more respect and value than in the case of 2 kids. They don't have a sense of sharing. They may be highly responsible but the emotional aspect is purely a function of their parents' upbringing. In general they are more selfish, stubborn and kind of unyielding towards younger people. If they are not like that it only means the parents are kind and generous people. But in case of 2 kids, both the kids have competition with respect to resources, they are more willing to adjustment. If there are more kids, the older start to parent the younger ones more than the parents themselves. This brings a lot of resentment and unhappiness in them. The younger ones are also deprived because with age the parents don't have that attention span towards the kids, they are depleted of their energy. You think twice or thrice about it and then decide, if you think a second kid is just too much burden on the family finances discuss the same with your wife and tell her why it is like that. Specifically think of all that you have to forgo in case a second kid is born and tell her if she is okay with what needs to be compromised. Tell her what discomforts you and you also see if it is something that is really compromisable. You also do some self introspection and take a decision.

 

Well child trafficking is altogether a different debate. However constant is not the 'rate of growth' but the population itself.
If all set of parents (two people) are producing two kids (to begin with the fact that these parents will eventually die at an average age of ~65) the population is supposed to remain constant over time because 2 kids would create 2 more kids, the parents would then die and it would be a net zero. simple isn't it? Let me know if you want me to explain this in a graphical form . Here I am not considering population loss due to migration, war, famine, terrorist attacks ..etc etc?.
Right now demographers say that it takes 2.1 children per woman to replace a population.
The extra 0.1 is because some people die before they have children.

 

Siblings are needed.It is so awesome!I have a brother but sometimes i also wanted a sister..even if you have a sibling,best would be to have both of the same gender..cant predict lol but that would be great.

 

Where are you living? Does your wife work? Are you willing to take up two jobs? Maybe make some lifestyle changes so you can afford two kids?

 

OP, from the few responses that I read I see you have got mixed responses enough to set you and your wife thinking. Wanted to add in my two cents.

You are right about wanting to provide the best for your child.
But have you thought about this from a slightly long term perspective? Why do you think that your financial situation would remain stay put? If you are in a decent job now, don't you think you will get annual increments? You may also change jobs for better prospective assuming that you are still in the early years of your career. But 5-6 years down the line when you are in a much better position, it may be too late to think of a second one. Please ponder on these lines.

Now, why should you have a second one. Again my thoughts...

1. These days single kids get an overdose of attention and that is being detrimental to a well rounded personality. It is getting harder to make them realize the meaning of gratitude because they get unconditional love and other materialistic stuff, no matter how much you, as a parent, try to set limits for yourself. (Personal experience + seeing over a dozen single teen kids around, first hand)
2. Giving and taking and sharing and caring are things which cannot be taught but experienced. Nothing better than having a sibling to inculcate these qualities in a child.
3. Of course, two kids would mean they have each other's support forever.
4. Parents in their old age, can rely on one or the other to offer them help or support. For a single child, it might be too much of responsibility to handle all by oneself.

These might sound like age old thoughts. But life is not just about money and comforts. What if the kid whom you are pampering with all comforts today fails to reciprocate the love someday when you most need it. Share your money and comforts between two kids and hope to have at least one around you.

So for me, two heads are always better than one.