Help Parents Or Not ?

I am not going to say that a woman's first priority should be her spouse after marriage. Even if that is true, it doesn't make any sense to feel bad throughout your marriage life by leaving your poor parents in trouble.

The situation is tricky. It highly depend on the dynamics of your life.
If you are a kind daughter, who love and care about her parents very much, you can't leave them just like that. You must ensure a reliable income for them if at all you can't avail yourself physically for them at this ailing time.
Reliable income could mean anything ranging from your jewels, savings, property, rental income or an agreement with your husband to send almost same amount as you did before. He should be able to spare that amount from his US salary, I guess. All what you need is a good bargaining.

However, if you are one of the daughters who think it is not a daughter's job to take care of parents; but taking care of in laws and more importantly the spouse is your first priority after marriage, then you decide what to do. The society will not blame you after all. Because apparently this is what many Indian women do (Read many and not all). And that is why Indian people favor a boy child over a female child all the time. I even support that. what's the point of having a daughter?????

Dear OP
As @Rihana said, there is no job that is menial. You can find any kind of job in US, and it is perfectly OK in a foreign land depending on your need.
So, that would enable you to earn some dollars, and send them home together with whatever your husband has agreed to send.
Be good with your husband, and have a heart to heart talk. He seem to be a nice guy. Cherish him.
Tell him that how much you want, rather dream a life with him. How much you want a kid with him. But how sad you are about leaving your parents in such a situation.
So, he will understand.
Put all the options together, and seek his help when and where his assistance is needed.

In the mean time, see if there any cousin, relative, friend or someone else could help your dad to secure a simple job for an additional income.

If I were you, I would sell all my jewels, and put together the money with my savings on my dad's name. So that they have something until I start earning or sending money on a monthly basis.
Parents will not steal from us. They will save as much as they can to return this favor after their times.
I wouldn't object if my H wants to do the same for his parents (Read, from his earning, his jewels etc.. so there won't be any complications) and that's why I always urge women to work, and be financially independent.

 

So you can't earn, how long?
You have listed too many issues here.
Think according to priority.
ok, your dad had surgery, but he still can contribute as one OP told.
Who else is staying with your dad, don't you have siblings?
Leave in laws issues aside for now, no point in thinking too much and making yourself miserable.

Coming to your husband, well he seems reasonable, atleast he loves you and that is why he wants you around. You too seem to be so, otherwise you would not think about him suffering alone there. Well you both tend to agree to a certain extent, so that is why you are unhappy at not having a child. This is what I could read from your posts here.

Going from here, make a budget about how much your parents need a month. You said you have jewellery, how much can you get out of it. Whatever you do, make sure atleast your husband knows it. Well, your in laws don't ever have to know such things. Discuss with your husband at the most how much he could contribute. Discuss with your parents about it. Find out where else your parents also can save some amount. There is nothing in this world as not able to curtail the budget. There are plenty of ways, problem is we don't plan.

Moreover once you go to US, you can make sure you have some more savings which you could do from your husband's savings. One more thing, why don't you plan to have a kid, if you are so sure you can't work on that visa. You definitely seem unhappy on that aspect. But you should also know, that a kid involves more expenses, just my advice.

There are lots of people who are able to live on single income, the difference is they are able to prioritize. Don't think that it is magic, it is just balancing out the earnings and saving!!!

 

Pardon me magician, so the point of having a offspring is they can support us in our old age? something like an insurance?

That is an unduly harsh statement.
OP has been taking care of her parents and their expenses, how many children( sons or daughters) do that? Even now she is torn between escaping from her ILs to live happily with her hubby and staying back so that she can provide for her parents.

 

It's the circle of life. Young to Old. Old to young. The way your parents held your hand when you were small and helped you cross the road/paid for all your necessities/gave you food to nurture and nourish you, the same way you need to be there when they grow old. Again, isn't that obvious?

Was meant to be.

Well, if you see that as a choice to be made... I've got nothing.

 

It's okay. I can see you're trying. Hope the I765 helps.

 

I am , magician, I am there for them. My parents live with me.

But to generalise it to people have offspring so they can be taken care of in their old age is an insult to parents, at least those of us who have children for a different purpose. I can be financially better off in my golden years if I invest my money elsewhere than child rearing. But that is not the point. It never was.

I guess we have to agree to disagree.