The Fallout Of Forgive And Forget?

No matter how big a mistake if someone sincerely regrets his mistake, I think it would be cruel to harass them further as their guilt would already be killing them...if not, holding a grudge for something in our hearts would fill us with pain every time we think about it... The person who wronged us would forget it but we are glorifying his success in hurting us by remembering it all the time... All said. It's very difficult practically... But let's remember that nobody is perfect and circumstances play an equal role than personal qualities alone...

 

It depends on the act.
you can forgive a poor hungry thief but can/ should Mallaya be forgiven?

Geeta is all about it. If it is a grievous wrong try to right it , or fight for your rights.

Should Ram have forgiven Ravan ?

Should the Rapist of Nirbhaya be forgiven?

Not All acts can/ should be forgiven or the society will be anarchy.

 

Dear Rihana,
It is difficult to generalise about forgive or forget.
In smaller issues (in the long run which look like big issues at that time look small over a time) it is better to let go. We would be peaceful if we do not brood over too much and move on with life. Over a period we forgive, may not forget some lessons learnt.
In bigger issues.....many maladies, many crimes which we read in daily papers we cannot do anything except lip sympathy.
Yes, people like Mallya or the like should not be forgiven. But can we do anything about it except reading in papers and discussing among ourselves? Nothing.
So, theory and practicality are different.
Syamala

 

Yes. They do. We all do. I strongly believe that we have an obligation towards ourselves and the society in this matter. We should stand up and be vocal and fight it out when required and let the I don't mean to say that we should pick up a fight literally. I prefer letting the other person know that he/she was wrong, and then let go of them and the deed. Many a time we will not be liked. I don't care. (The wrong doer never stopped to think how this act would impact someone else's life or emotions). If I don't let them know, I will forever feel that I have let myself down.

Bigger social issues, it becomes our responsibility to stop the wrong doing. But in such situations one requires great courage. Here as cheeniya garu says we will be more concerned about self protection and preservation. We may, and many a time we will prefer to let go of the issue and the wrong doers, than incur more trouble unless the issue literally sits in our heart and simmers so much that we just charge ahead with our protest however big it may be.

We all do make our strong and feeble protests whenever we can in our own way.

 

Op maam, ur question echoed my feelings towards being abused and abuser. Yes, a person should be assertive and fight against being abused . iam a great example . thinking that to be patient to verbal abuse is a great thing, I became a victim and mentally depressed and week. The name I got was not a patient person but a loser. To gain back my confidence I did of meditation and attended counselling sessions even now I wonder , if I had not allowed any one to shout at me, verbally abuse me, I would have been very confident.abuser just needs a victim. I pray to God that no one should be a victim.even now I won't say I am happy for being patient. Even now I cry thinking of the insults I bore.

 

Aren't you an 'atheist'? Since when you cared about Karma!! Be a good Samaritan Rihana ji! Warn them of course, then if they carry on to buy anyway, thats when its their Karma to deal with!

 

I think one should forgive and forget for personal's spiritual development while one should fight injustice for others. If we look at Gandhiji, he never complained about all the ill treatment he received from the Britishers, never spoke bad about Britishers who spoke foul language towards him. But he did fight for the injustice for the shudras, poor and also for the independence of India.

In personal relationship level, if we got cheated and we see others on their way of getting cheated, then we should at least hint or warn them and leave the decision to them.

 

Dear Rihana,

In my view the choice to forgive and forget stops when a specific act is done against one person. The moment we have that knowledge, we are not only obligated to preserve ourselves but also others.

It becomes our dharma to stop oppression. If an act of oppression happens with our prior knowledge and if we remain silent, we end up violating our dharma.

Viswa