Feels So Discouraging.. Need Some Tips

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by HakunaMatata, Jun 3, 2016.

  1. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Gold IL'ite

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    I joined in a new job recently after a few years of gap in my career.. Since it been a huge gap, I couldn't able to cope up the same speed to complete my work as like before.. I feel so bad of myself, that I couldn't able to complete my assigned work and got struck with even small errors in work..
    I couldn't able put extra hours in Office as I have to manage my home, also have take care of my health for my fertility treatment..

    I feel so guilt of leaving Office without completing my work.. I don't know, what to do..

    I feeling so discouraged to continue my job, but I have no other options I need to continue for my financial reasons..

    I feel so humiliated to see my manager for not able to Complete my work in time...
    Apart from this we now shifted to central india where knowing Hindi is must.. Even though I tried a lot to learn that language, I couldn't able to learn it fast.. My manager wants me to learn Hindi for communication purpose, but I couldn't even able to do that..

    I don't know what do to further to improve me.. Every day I going and leaving office with so much of guilt in my heart..
    Pls help me, what I can do to come of this situation..

    I m not of multitasking person, so I can't able to get extra time in home to improve my technical knowledge..
     
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  2. magician

    magician Silver IL'ite

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    If you know you're bad at multitasking, why are you still trying?

    Women, especially Indian women, need to understand that they are not Wonderwomen. You can't be a goddess in bed, a champion at work and the Holy Matron of the House. Choose one skill, master it and then, move on to the next. If you do everything half-heartedly, you will have to live with half hearted results. If health is of importance, caeteris paribus, then get yourself on the road to fitness. If you need your job to fill your plate, get better at your job or choose one that matches your skillset. If being a homemaker appeals to you, talk to your husband and get your priorities realigned.

    I am not being mean. But feeling 'guilty' is not helping you or your employer.
     
  3. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Gold IL'ite

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    I don't want master in all, I m trying to manage the things..
    Since I m giving priority to my health, I couldn't compromise myself on eating outside after working late in Office..
     
  4. idonthatemylife

    idonthatemylife Silver IL'ite

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    Dear @HakunaMatata, I agree with @magician about getting your priorities realigned. Which is the most important thing for you, a job or a baby?
    Trust me you are not the only one with such problems. Every person or at least every other person has these kinda issues in their lives on the face of this planet.
    Do not be discouraged. I am pretty sure you would have worked hard to find this job after a huge gap in your career( as you said).And you have got it.Why won't you be able to find a new job after a baby? Why don't you talk to your husband first? Best wishes.
     
  5. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Gold IL'ite

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    I have taken this job on contract basis, I have to work for the company minimum 1 year and I can quit job before that in case of medical emergency. Pls don't ask, why I took the job if I need baby.. When I got the job I was in a deep financial trouble, I couldn't able to continue my treatments due to financial problems..
    That's y I took the job..
    The requirements are so low in this job when compared to my previous job before the career break up..
    But still I couldn't able to complete it on time..
    I just wondering how ladies who are working after a career gap, are managing their work..
    How to come out from demotivating ourselves when we can't able to complete our work on time..
     
  6. Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Its okay not to perform so well in a new job at the beginning. Even organizations realize many new people take time to adjust and get used to the environment. Even for people who have been working without break, move to an new company will mean lesser productivity for a while.

    Slowly as you get used to the work, your speed will increase and errors will decrease. You can also ask your manager for some training manuals. Say you want to just brush up few things.

    Do you commute by bus or have to drive ? If by bus, then you can take books/printouts and read on the way to re-familiarize yourself.

    About language problem. I also work in a city where spoken lang is different from mine. Is Hindi a mandatory requirement at your work place, or rather a nice to have skill ? Offices nowadays have people from different regions and diversity is always welcome. You can try joining colleagues on lunch/tea breaks and pickup few hindi words from them.

    By the way, I juggled a full time job with full housework along with ILs staying (no maid), language problem at home and workplace (my in laws spoke diff language), fertility issues (multiple surgeries) together at the same time - so I can understand your issue a bit. It can be done so don't feel hopeless. Fertility issues are demotivating but the more you stress the more difficult it becomes.

    Try making breakfast/lunch, doing prep work for dinner in the morning itself. Try having simple dinners on workdays and elaborate meals you can plan for weekends only. Do you have any household help ? I usually try to clean/chop veggies, prepare and keep idli/dosa batter, make ginger/garlic pastes for the week in weekend.

    All the best.
     
  7. Chocolatey

    Chocolatey Gold IL'ite

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    Hi dear @HakunaMatata.. You didn't do anything wrong by choosing to work while trying for a baby. Of course your health should be a priority. Don't compromise your physical and mental health for anything. Take care of yourself well.
    But you should definitely do something to improve your career. It might take a bit time for you to settle with job since you are back after a break.
    Try always to speak in Hindi. You may be wrong but don't worry. Watch Hindi movies with English subtitles. Ask your colleagues to speak in Hindi. It will help you learn faster.
    At home try to reduce your work. Keep house cleaning for weekly thrice or once in two days.. Washing at weekends.. Likewise. If possible hire a domestic help.
    Do try doing some multi tasking. Multi tasking saves lot of time. Even folding clothes while watching TV is a simple multi tasking. You can get some motivation and tips from the already existing thread here.
    Dont take too much stress. Be happy.. All the best.. :beer-toast1:
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2016
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  8. magician

    magician Silver IL'ite

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    The only way to motivate yourself is by doing better. From what you've written, it seems that finance is of the most priority. Which means you really need this job. Then, work at getting better at it. Nothing can boost your confidence than proving to yourself that you're worth it.

    By the bye, it doesn't mean your health needs to take a backseat. Use this one year to detoxify yourself through holistic medicine. It's cheaper as well.
     
  9. Prachi.B

    Prachi.B Bronze IL'ite

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    First of all Hakuna stop feeling guilty. You are not doing any wrong by leaving the office without completing the work.

    If you keep on feeling guilty you will never be happy in office life neither in personal life.

    If you want to balance your life, stop the worry. Dont think what the colleagues are saying.

    Even if you want to get successful in your fertility treatment, then try to remain happy, cool and calm.
    With the office stress you are not going to get success in fertility treatment.
    Stress free life will give you the happiness you want.

    So be happy, remove the stress and stay calm.
     
    HakunaMatata likes this.
  10. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks @Cool10, @chocolaty for your reply.. I will try ur suggestions.. Thanks a lot..
     

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