Breaking the Ice

Anandchitra · Aug 5, 2008

Meeta said: ↑

Hi Dear AC.....
Me being a little shy finds it hard to cope in a big gathering during my initial days of marriage.....but now, I got the trick to start any conversation........
For me, the ice breakers are mostly compliments for the others in that party......like, this dress looks nice on you instead of saying you look nice in this dress.... (it indirectly says that you are good and an ordinary dress like this even looks vibrant on you)
And I really meant what I say......everybody has a tendency to listen abt their positive points.....so I try to notice that and taking it as a clue, start my conversation.....
Now, you won't believe, some of my frds started thinking that I am talkative.......becase I am the person, who talks to maximum no. of guests in a party.....
And among other ice breakers: How are you today.......how was your day......how did you spent the weekend and if weekend is coming, then, what are your plans for weekend.......where did you went for summer/winter.......etc......
Regards..
Click to expand...

Meeta lovey
So there is a difference in those 2 lines.. better to use "this dress looks nice on you".. really I was not aware of these small nuances but makes sense..
Your last para is a life saver.. one thing I have observed is once your guest starts talking it becomes a lot easier.. you stand and nod your head and listen.. and soon a few more guests join in.. and then everyone seems to take over.. its always a pleasure to see you.

roopadadia · Aug 5, 2008

Hey AC,

You really come up with such variety of subjects. I always wonder from where you get these ideas.

I don't know in which category to place myself...but one thing i know is at times i can't go further than a few sentences and some times i talk as if there is never tomorrow.

Maybe i think it also depends on the other person with whom you are interacting. Ours is a huge family and compared to my other co-sisters (currently we are 6 co-sis), i talk less they all talk a lot ...but still it seems that i am the most popular among the DILs. ..that's what my husbands and some of his aunts say.:hide:

When there are more people...i see to it that rather than spending more time with a few, i spend some time with all and then which ever group i find comfortable i join in there.

Cindhuja · Aug 5, 2008

Dear AC,

Nice topic. Like my dad even i used to be very much a silent person never talk unless and otherwise someone asks me something but once i started going to college (UG) day by day i changed a lot. Started mingling with people freely and initiate talking. I would like to thank my teachers in my first semester who encouraged me a lot to reach this comfort level. You wont believe by the end of my PG i was awarded for preparing more number of seminars in the year than the rest in my college And now husband too being one such category we never hesitate to talk or converse with anyone but never attempt to bore anyone

Anandchitra · Aug 6, 2008

roopadadia said: ↑

Hey AC,

You really come up with such variety of subjects. I always wonder from where you get these ideas.

I don't know in which category to place myself...but one thing i know is at times i can't go further than a few sentences and some times i talk as if there is never tomorrow.

Maybe i think it also depends on the other person with whom you are interacting. Ours is a huge family and compared to my other co-sisters (currently we are 6 co-sis), i talk less they all talk a lot ...but still it seems that i am the most popular among the DILs. ..that's what my husbands and some of his aunts say.:hide:

When there are more people...i see to it that rather than spending more time with a few, i spend some time with all and then which ever group i find comfortable i join in there.
Click to expand...

Hi Roopa
Thats a nice technique... I agree its better to spend time more with all in general .. And the thing is when we are comfortable we do tend to talk more..
I guess its just our comfort zones!

Anandchitra · Aug 6, 2008

roopadadia said: ↑

Hey AC,

You really come up with such variety of subjects. I always wonder from where you get these ideas.

I don't know in which category to place myself...but one thing i know is at times i can't go further than a few sentences and some times i talk as if there is never tomorrow.

Maybe i think it also depends on the other person with whom you are interacting. Ours is a huge family and compared to my other co-sisters (currently we are 6 co-sis), i talk less they all talk a lot ...but still it seems that i am the most popular among the DILs. ..that's what my husbands and some of his aunts say.:hide:

When there are more people...i see to it that rather than spending more time with a few, i spend some time with all and then which ever group i find comfortable i join in there.
Click to expand...

Hello Roopa
You have a good point in mingling with the larger group and staying with whom you are more comfortable with..
Its not surprising we need to be more comfortable with to help mingle or make small talk..
well I am glad a popular dil is sharing ideas here with me..

Mindian · Aug 6, 2008

Dear AC,
Lovely topic and loved your sense of humour...me too have faced the same predicament being a shy person......but the most common icebreakers here seem to be about India,hindi movies ,shows like sa re ga ma...and if u do not regularly follow all these u are STUCK.......then about sarees and dresses ....it is indeed funny that people will believe anything as long as it is a compliment to them but i cannot be such a fake person so will use this only if i really mean it....then the most imp ,...their children...people just love to TALK about their kids...and i will be polite like hmmm and smile..thats all is expected of me....and when EVERYTHING fails of course the weather to the rescue..
Mindi

Anandchitra · Aug 6, 2008

Mindian said: ↑

Dear AC,
Lovely topic and loved your sense of humour...me too have faced the same predicament being a shy person......but the most common icebreakers here seem to be about India,hindi movies ,shows like sa re ga ma...and if u do not regularly follow all these u are STUCK.......then about sarees and dresses ....it is indeed funny that people will believe anything as long as it is a compliment to them but i cannot be such a fake person so will use this only if i really mean it....then the most imp ,...their children...people just love to TALK about their kids...and i will be polite like hmmm and smile..thats all is expected of me....and when EVERYTHING fails of course the weather to the rescue..
Mindi
Click to expand...

Dear Mindi
You sound like me.. I also think some mothers love to talk about their children and also some love to talk about thier grandchildren too.... and like you say if all else fails lets talk about the weather..

Sriniketan · Aug 7, 2008

AC,
For how many rides you are going to take me on your boat?
Nice idea....i need tips too...because I am a 'reserved' person you know...
The tips discussed here are really helpful.

sriniketan

Cindhuja · Aug 7, 2008

I generally get along like this....

Start with a Hi or hello

Check were do they come from

How long they have been here

If you have already visited that place, discuss about it

If they have kids , more convenient to talk easily...

If you are a movie person check what they have recently seen on screen and also tell about your experience

If you are a working woman , talk about managing time and your day to day troubles

About parents, kids schoolings, favourite programme's in TV, hobbies etc etc....

meera2503 · Aug 7, 2008

Dear AC mam,

Wonderful topic.Usually enquiring about health ,if the person is old,and talking to other mums about kids, weather is a ok,but too much can be boring.I donot like go to on about jewellery,sarees, etc.I always prefer a smile and a hello,hi,that is all .It also depends on the person whom I am interacting with.

regards

meera