Open Marriage

What if its too late? What if he he meets someone and truly falls for them. Perhaps a single mom, vulnerable, ready to please and someone he connects with emotionally? Does that worry you?

If the only reason you think hes not going to leave is because of the kids..then is that reason enough?

 

Although I would never do this myself, I am not opposed to a couple having an open marriage AS LONG as BOTH parties MUTUALLY agree wholeheartedly to the arraignment for whatever reason it is. If a couple if having some difficulty and one partner wants an open marriage and the other refuses to let them go explore other relationships, I think professional counseling would be the first step. I do know of couples who stay together for the sake of the kids (both Desi and non-Indian) while the husband has extra marital affairs (yes, there are non-Indian women who do put up with this in exchange to be a stay at home mom so they can raise their kids on their husband's salary) so it's not just a Desi women thing. The issues arise when a couple is no longer attracted (or never were to begin with if it was an arranged marriage) and one partner wants to cheat while the other still wants them to be loyal but not show any spousal affection or "be a couple". It's a murky area.

 

These things have already existed from time immemorial and the ancient Indians were very open about it (and this made it a healthy society) as seen from their art and writings. It's only with later invasions and foreign rule our minds were brain-washed into believing all the things related to sex was 'dirty' and 'sinful'. Anyway, being human, it was 'business as usual' but everything was done in hiding. Now, it is suffering the pangs of rebirth to come out into the open as it breaks through rusted bars of the Victorian era and the crumbling old doors (of our mind) of the Mughal period.

 

There are innumerable 'what ifs' in life from the time you start your day from the time one is born. And things are handled well only if one is 'capable' of handling them. This requires, more than anything else, suitable mental qualities. One must not get into anything 'unprepared' and keeping one's interests in mind, must be ready to learn and adapt and avoid being a fool or getting fooled.

 

The movies (esp. Indian) will never glorify anything that is against strong cultural values. Their idea is to gently plant such controversial ideas in our society even as they ensure good returns on their investments. People are hypocritical and talk defending 'our culture' even as the audiences see to it that the movie is a block bluster.

 

I ve heard about it and seen it in movies. But this is the first time Ive come across a real situation.

Shouldnt the option of seeing other people be limited to unmarried couples? I am not being judgemental here nor this has anything to do with culture. Just thinking about honoring marriage vows and sanctity of marriage.

You guys are adult and no one need to tell you how to run your life. I am sure you have thought about the consequences before coming to this decision. So, who am I to tell you whats right and wrong here. I am worried about the future though, is there future for such marriage? What if new relationship takes over?

Its your life and decision. Some reader here may have rather crude way of expressing their views. Anyone can say anything they want, in the end its your life and your future that needs to be taken cared of.

All the best........

 

for some reason, i feel this thread is a troll and I hope it is.

 

Good @beinghonest. If you are happy with the arrangement then keep it up. Maybe the next person maybe better than the earlier one. Just don't get emotionally involved. For us, women it is always emotion first then the physical. For men it is difficult.

Just a question, how does this all work. Is it mutual exchange between two couples (like swapping) or is it open?