Should I Stay In This Marriage

You chose to (or were pressured by family/others) to have a child even though husband's interest in nonprocreative sex was zero. You didn't divorce him before child for that reason. Should you divorce him after child for that reason? IMO, no.
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There is an equal number of articles about the impact of divorce on kids. Don't go by articles only. If you and child end up being unhappier outside the marriage, you can't blame the article.

Yes, it is selfish. You knowingly brought a child into such a marriage. Husband is the same as before. Your analysis of the marriage has changed.

There are more options. You could move to another city. He could. "Job" could be the reason for living separately. You could hang in there till she is off to college. Unusual arrangements are possible. Unless you are going to seriously consider getting married again, it seems like you are better off in the marriage.

Of course, you know best. We can only provide opinion, based on your posts. And our own values, prejudices etc.

Is a temporary living separately possible, while you think over things?
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Reading between the lines, you don't want to do that. If you want to, it can be done. Not wanting this option, is not bad or wrong; it is just one option you should look at before discarding. You have.

Tough questions. Will not be much solace if you are told that there are many households where this is the norm. Adding some more questions to the mix: when is 12 or 13, she might ask you some pointed questions. If you divorce (start using this word actively in your mind, don't keep it hazy), if you divorce, what will be the reason you give her? What will be the reason you give if she asks 'so I was born in a very unhappy marriage, and you guys ... just to have me?' We didn't ask our parents questions about their choices and parenting. Kids now-a-days do ask, and even in 'normal' households.

She is seeing parents sleeping in separate rooms, and not talking for days. Contrast that to she splits her time between two houses. Parents meet only in parent-teacher meeting, or her birthdays. From what little I know, children are remarkably selfish. She may prefer this setup, to the two homes setup.

A "sad, emotionally zero" marriage is not enough reason to walk out. You have to compare your present to the possible future. Single parenting has logistics like care of child when you are sick, usually standard of living of child also goes down. If happiness or emotional contentment (yours and child's) is going to be an uphill battle even after divorce, then.....

One more point - office colleagues are nice to rely on, and good that they might help you. But, such help is never for long. Life happens, people move on. After the initial help, support, sympathy, you will be mostly on your own.

Couple more things - "a child is better off with divorced parents rather than fighting/emotionally silent/bickering parents", "you deserve happiness, you deserve a better marriage, you do not have to remain in such a marriage" are nice to read in articles. When applying them to real life, much more customization is needed. The "you deserve happiness" does not come accompanied with the handbook of happiness. That advice only sets you up with the task of your own happiness. If you are trying to build up the strength to make a jump towards an obviously happier you, and a divorce will bring that, and you are having some residual misgivings, then, that 'you deserve happiness' can give the little final push you need.

And these articles, are more applicable to 'western' marriages. This over interference from SIL, in-laws, the having a child in spite of... are more typical of 'Indian' marriages. So,apply the gyan from those articles with some care.

You are struggling to make your husband be the dad your child deserves. A divorce will make that particular struggle even harder.

Good Luck. Sorry for the longish response. If you post 'I have decided to walk out, I need help/suggestions', you'll get those. If you post 'I have decided to remain.. I need help/suggestions', you'll get those. You are currently evaluating/brainstorming... so these suggestions. These are like the sounding-board you seem to be looking for, they are not a criticism of any of your choices.
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