Second baby in not so happy marriage

SadMarried · Mar 25, 2016

hi gals,

Im once again here, this time with dilemma, i just found out im pregnant, its not planned, i cant beleive after so much precaution, it happened. I already have 2 yrs old baby boy which is my everything. But my relation with hubby isnt great as you must have seen in some of my previos posts. As much as i wanted second baby in my life, i was determined to have any more baby if my relation to hubby changes for good. So may b after few years if at all. But this news has come as surprise and shock. I dont know whether to b happy or worry abt future. After first pregnancy, i just got my pre-baby figure back, good job, was planning to study further part time from next month, all will go on halt with new baby. There are mixed emotions all over. One way i also feel positive may b its god's way of giving me another baby as it was completely unplanned/unexpected and accdental.

What do you gals think would i be ok? Or is it wrong decision to have second baby in unstable marriage?

hope2b · Mar 25, 2016

If we say, no don't go for it, what is that you would do?

If we say, it's a huge mistake, your figure will go back to tired nights and with two children you will be more depressed. Your hormones will make extra emotions in an already sad marriage, what would you do?

What is your husbands reaction?

Can you keep working and support yourself and the kids in such a marriage?

I have not read your previous posts, but I am sad to say that, having even the above thoughts in your head is a dangerous notion. You are pregnant. Such a beautiful blessing. Please get your family or husband support, and start working on your life. When you already conceived there is nothing that you can do to change it. Well of course abortion is there I guess. You have to decide if you can be a mother to another kid.

I am not sure if your marriage is in that bad shape as you are seeing, especially when you both are still having physical contact. May be this can change your family equation.

Not sure if I am helping but this is not a decision to be sought from strangers.

twinklingstar · Mar 25, 2016

dear OP i think you should sit and think calmly about it. as even i m not aware of your past stories. but what i think is you should talk to ur closed one(who are much aware of fact and causes) and will show you some light.
but dear having baby is such a good luck and u r bless to have that opportunity second time. but if you are not really sure and confuse i think you should not welcome new soul with all this confusion and confuse him for your being unfare with him on your hard times...
whatever you will decide think from all aspect and then decide...all the best dear

narmadhannk · Mar 25, 2016

hope2b already she is pregnant. So u mean to abort the child. How cruel?

SadMarried. Its time you should adopt to the new situation and be happy with what u have got. Lot of people are not this lucky to have first baby itself. so decide your life to welcome the baby and the future for both your childs.

Ragini25 · Mar 25, 2016

I dont have a nice way to put this, so will put it bluntly as always: Pls. dont kill the baby. You created it, whether accidental or intentional, so dont kill the baby, no fault of the baby. Just welcome the baby. Despite the poor relshp with your hubby, and all the complaints, the two of you do have sex and accidentally the baby arrived now, so despite that poor relshp - just welcome the baby. How is sex with a poor relshp hubby ok, but just baby is not ok? (Sorry, here goes my rant: People should abstain sex if the relshp is that terrible, but its not fair to say relshp is terrible, but we continue to have sex, and accidentally baby arrived so we are "considering options").

Nevertheless - final decision is yours (not IL-ites')

chocolate · Mar 25, 2016

Op,Congrats. Think whether YOU and only you can bring up the child without hubby or anybody else's support. Financially, emotionally in all ways. If yes go ahead.Anytime women conceive its not right time in some way or the other.But once the baby is here we cant think anything apart from the sweet bundle of joy.Sometimes babies become our life that all problems pale in comparison .Think and decide. Good Luck and take good care of your health.

inboxsweetee · Mar 25, 2016

We have to take the life as it comes thats the more beauty lies with in. Nothing in the world will run as we plan for sure . Very few things you hit like as planned. Child is never a burden . Be Calm . Plan for the future and learn to handle the 2

SadMarried · Mar 25, 2016

Hi ladies , thanks for your input.

Im surprised to see response from some of the ladies , i never said im planning to get rid of baby. I just wanted to get insight from the ladies who could have been in my situation, how did second baby changed their life and their marriage? And may b i was looking for assurance i will b able to cope up with life even after the second baby.

For someone who asked how is my husband reaction to this pregnancy, he is very happy about it even if he knows its unexpected.

Ragini25 · Mar 26, 2016

SM, good to hear you are keeping the baby, and sorry to have thought from your OP that you considered other options. Was a panic that some "parents" indulge in dastardly decisions.
Good wishes to your baby

vaidehi71 · Mar 26, 2016

Hi,

Congrats, glad to hear that your husband shares the same happiness like you.

Life is not always like you would like it to be. But that journey may throw surprises and we have to learn and enjoy it as it happens. So forget whether it would change your husband's attitude etc, but definitely it would bring changes in your life.

So be positive and hope for the best, but you have a gift of God now, so treasure the moment and enjoy the moments now.

Take care,
Vaidehi