Mothering Today – Changes & Challenges

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A letter from a young mother to hers about the challenges she faces in the modern world.

Dear Mother,

Hope you are doing fine. Felt like writing to you and to share what is within my heart. I know there are no gold medals to be won to raise my kids and I know that motherhood is about nurturing and raising a life but still sometimes I feel overwhelmed with challenges that keep coming up every single day.

1. Me Time - I don't ever remember you mother wanting your space. You were there when I got home, I tagged along with you wherever you went, you were constantly there for me and Didi but I find it so hard. I crave for some time alone with myself away from the family. Is it wrong if I think like this? Why I am so torn with guilt if I leave my kids just for an hour to get some fresh air alone. I struggle to carve my own space while giving my best to the kids and the family.

2. Fading education - Back in 70s were you too bombarded with questions about your career plans after having kids, were you also asked what will you do with the degrees you earned. With an infant in hand and a toddler tagging around, this is the most common question that I am asked on daily basis. I see working women managing their kids and work and I wonder what I am doing with my life. My friends who work, tell me about the guilt they feel about not giving enough time to their kids. Every night I lay in the bed planning to do something with my education, tossing and turning and worrying about the future of my career while my friends who work, retire to bed with a deep guilt harbored in their heart about the lack of time. Did your generation ever faced such dilemma. I try hard to manage kids, home and pursue a educational course but no matter how hard I try, the society force me again and again to evaluate my choice and my circumstances to stay at home to raise my kids.

3. Demons behind closed doors - Each morning there is at least one case of child molestation. Makes me wonder about the monsters that live among us and prey on our kids. I no longer can leave my kids unattended. I am there to see them off to the bus or to drive them to school, make sure that they get back home safely on time, keep a check on their movements every single hour. Where ever my kids go I will be there somewhere keeping a watch.

4. The call of competition - You always told me to excel in my studies and the hobbies were for the summer holidays. There were few among us in the class of 70 students who were good in extra curricular activities. They performed and we watched. Its not like that any more mother. School is no longer 7:30AM to 1:30PM, as soon as kids are back from school they have to prepare for the activity class at 4:00PM. And have I told you about the math genius classes which they also attend 3 days in a week. If I let them concentrate only on their studies then in the class of 30 students, my kids will be the only one sitting and watching while all their classmates perform and showcase their talent. I want the best for them and I take it upon me to strive and make sure that they excel in almost all walks of life.

5. Parental Control - Mother do you remember the 8:00 PM news, how we used to sit and watch it together and then there were discussions and questions about whats going around the world. 8:00PM news used to be so important for us. I no longer can decide which news channel to sit and watch with the kids, the language and content of these channels do not leave me with a good taste. Then there is the internet, cable TV, smart phones, social media and I need to be careful and watchful all the time else my little kids will be exposed to big wild world too early and too soon.

Sitting on the steps which lead to my home, I write to you but in the back on my mind I am silently counting the number of tasks which are still left to be completed before I call it a day.

I manage home, I manage kids, I cook, I also pursue a course, I try to work from home, I drive my kids anywhere they want to go, I am watchful, I am alert and I am constantly on my toes. I wonder mother, how many more sets of hands I need to grow to complete the never ending list of tasks and at same time slay invincible devils that lurk around the corner. I wonder how many more sets of eyes I need, to constantly watch over my kids. How many more smart answers I need to shut the people who constantly question me.

I know there are no gold medals to be won by taking care of my kids but I do it with full passion and pride. Everyday I become stronger and stand like a iron gate between my kids and the world. I look after them, I protect them and I filter any dirt that could harm them. A warm hug from tiny hands just makes my life much more worth living.

Wrote this letter to tell you that I love you and now I understand that you must have gone through your own set of challenges to raise me and didi. You did a very good job and like you I am trying to do my best too.

Lots of love

Your daughter

 

Dear Rvachar,

Thanks for liking the post. I agree with your point of view.

Lots of love

regards

Shiva

 

Dear Suresh,

Thanks

Have a great day ahead.

regards

Shiva

 

Dear Dvl,

Thanks for liking the post and appreciating my writing.

Lots of love

regards

Shiva

 

Dear MadhuGanapathy,

Thanks for liking the post.

Lots of love

regards

Shiva