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Why is it difficult to find brides these days ?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Arunavee, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. anupama81

    anupama81 New IL'ite

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    Hi Aruna,

    Enjoyed reading ur blog...but as all the above said there are 2 sides of a coin..the problem lies with older generation too..when the world is changing they should also change at least a bit to cope up with the changes...love and responsiblity has become mutual these days. When guys and his parents expect love and adjustment from the girl who comes in...they should also try to adjust wth her and try to understand her,as the role of an women in modern days has transformed a lot and she has to take care of many things other than family such as career,children education ,share financial responsibility etc.one can't expect a working housewife to be very cool and cordial with in-law as the one who stays at home..she has her share of tensions from work place.

    Forseeing all these problems from the elder generation,and some girls from their own mother's experience want a diplomatic solution for this problem..that is staying away from inlaws.

    This problem can be solved only when the both generation try to understand each other and really want to solve this problem..... we can't just blame these days girls for this...every one has to remember"Nothing is as permanent as change in this world"

    Thanks,
    Anu
     
  2. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice one to read and serious enough to think about ....




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  3. nshobitha

    nshobitha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Aruna,

    Thanks for posting this. Even my brother has the same problem. We really don't know how to solve this issue.

    I had met a gal for my bro (Interview), she was fine with her thoughts and never had any kinda requirement. But here the problem was with her father. He had a list of things which he wanted accordingly to be changed before wedding.

    1) Not to have any kind of relation ship with my parents and with me
    2) He should stay with them and listen to what ever they say (reason for this is as they have only one daughter)
    3) give his entire salary to gals dad

    I just got married a year back. So even i belong to the same generation , but i never had such thoughts in my mind..my only concern used to be to get a gud and understanding guy in nature.. Touch wood, my in-laws treat me as their daughter.

    Thanks
     
  4. Serene23

    Serene23 Senior IL'ite

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    So true! women dont want to be subservient or atleast unappreciated for the work that they do at home.. I guess it is a question of gender equality .. and probably you can expose your kid to some chores and an equal culture at home..
     
  5. senzzation

    senzzation New IL'ite

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    Maybe we are heading in the direction of pre-nups. :) But in a girl's favour , i must add that guys shouldn't be brought up with the idea that their wives will cook , clean & maintain a household for them. Mothers should start teaching their sons, as they do to daughters, abt how to take care of themselves & their families.Marriage IS a two-way street & our attitudes have to change to bring about gender-equality in relationships.
     
  6. senzzation

    senzzation New IL'ite

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    I should add that I have friends who are in their 30s & are not able to find suitable grooms for themselves because guys perceive them as too independent. No, they haven't made any demands from the guys like u mentioned in ur blog. Instead, they showed an inclination towards picking up the restaurant bill where they met or expressed their opinion abt current affairs that didn't match with the guy's. So there u go. Like many others here mentioned there are two sides to the coin. :)
     
  7. privytrifles

    privytrifles Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I liked your article, but I have gone through a different side of the same coin recently. Seeing my friends get married, or looking for grooms I have come across cases where guys come up with very awkward requests like ," I have just set up my own business how much financial support can your parents give us?" and this is just on the first day of the meeting. They even sometimes try to belittle the girl's qualifications ' jobs by commenting like " Are you trying to tell me you have a demand in your industry? Huh!! cant be..if you are not an XYZee [ meaning the profession He is in] you cannot be in demand ever!"

    However ridiculous it may sound, this has has also happened and I have witnessed it myself. I guess for every one genuine guy out there there is a genuine girl available too. The problem is WILL THEY MEET? :)
     
  8. Evolet

    Evolet Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Arunavee

    Yes the days have definitely changed.Earlier , girls were married to guys so that their husbands can give them security (financial and physical) , love and care. But now girls dont look for such guys because ,girls are are well educated and mostly financially independent as well.

    So they are no more people who will get married to a guy , do all the work , take care of mother in law and expect nothing in turn.They will definitely do everything said above , but they ll want everyone in the family to be involved and may be help them with a maid if they are working .. and they expect their husbands to be a life partner whom they can share everything in their life.

    Having said these.. I am also against such conditions where they do not want to takecare of their inlaws.I know . most of the girls these days do not want to live with thier in laws no matter how good they are.. I think this is the reflection of the pain their mothers have went through..

    I believe marriage should be a bonding of 2 families and not taking away the son from the family.So having the first condition as living away from in laws is not a good idea..
     
  9. Arunavee

    Arunavee Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you Sofea! I was pleasantly surprised to log and and see that my blog had been judged the best by all of you.Thank you so much! What you say is so true.What we saw and what we are going to see is going to be really different and we are right in the middle of two different generations..sadly.

     
  10. Arunavee

    Arunavee Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you for your comments :) What you have mentioned surprises me.The women are independent and are actually offering to be equals and the men find that a put-off ?! That's because they come from homes where fathers dominate...that's what I assume...please correct me if I am wrong.


     

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